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Draft Development

• Formatting Scripts To Sell

  The point of every script is to be made into a film - obviously. Yet why do so some great stories never make it to the screen? Christopher Riley gives us some advice on how to take the final hurdle to becoming a working screenwriter. Before a film o...

• From One to Many

  In a series about screenwriting software, some of the main screenwriting software titles out there will contribute an article to The Story Department. We open the series with Mark Kennedy, CEO of Celtx. "Just a few days ago, we released vers...

• How important are format and style?

  The first step for many aspiring screenwriters is to purchase a piece of pricey screenwriting software. Some call it retail therapy. You are not a screenwriter until you have made that sacrifice, until you have invested money in your career, rig...

• How thick is your skin?

  An ongoing climate of attack & defense in our industry inspired me to these thoughts on the value and nature of feedback and criticism. It's about scripts in the first place. Whenever we expose personal work to the judgment of others, we run the...

• How To Write A Great Script

  Everybody always says it. The one surefire way to break into the industry is to write a great script. “All you have to do is write a great script,” they say. “Ohhhh,” you reply, “That’s it? “That’s all I had to do all this time??...

• How to Write a Readable Script

  What are the primary criteria that will ensure your script stands out from the rest? Steven Fernandez reveals some essential secrets to getting read. In my 4½ months in LA, one of the most important screenwriting lessons I learned is that there are ...

• In Late, Out Early

  When Goldman wrote "get in late and leave early", he was not talking about how you watch a bad movie. He meant screenwriters should keep scenes to what is essential to the story. No arrivals and departures, no meet & greet or chit-chat. This is o...

• Introducing Names

  When I re-watched the pilot episodes of LOST, it struck me how late the main characters' names are introduced. And it works so well. By the time we hear the names mentioned, we are already wondering about them. First we see the stranded group realize...

• Its time to stop looking stupid

  If you didn't notice the error in the title, this blog entry is for you. I don't usually reprint entire blog posts but I read this entry on Seth Godin's blog - and sadly it applies perfectly to many aspiring screenwriters. When I get a manuscript o...

• Mental Spackle

  Spackle |ˈspakəl| Noun: A compound used to fill cracks in plaster and produce a smooth surface. What is 'mental spackle'? Merrel Davis explains how to ensure you fill all the gaps in your script. Mental Spackle is a term I’ve coined to describe...

• Perfect Formatting

  It’s certainly no secret. I believe that all the screenplays we write today must be flawless in terms of formatting and grammar simply because of the competition. Everything counts. And in my review of Mickey Lee’s great new story, The Other ...

• POV Jack: [the movie]

  In newbie screenplays I often read "POV [Character Name]". This is almost always unnecessary. BTW, Any technical element that is about HOW it is filmed rather than WHAT is filmed, takes us out of the read. This includes "Point of View". So it is anno...

• Script Check: DAY / NIGHT

  Many newbie screenwriters use times of day other than DAY or NIGHT in their scene headings. It looks unprofessional. DUSK and DAWN are not used in spec scripts by beginning screenwriters unless the kiss by sunset is essential to understanding the sto...

• Script Development - Step by Step

  In our series about screenwriting software, the people behind some of the leading titles contribute to this blog. Our guest this week is Dan Bronzite, CEO of Movie Outline. Is there a right or wrong way to write a screenplay? Is one piece of soft...

• Secondary Headings

  What kind of photos does one use for an article about Secondary Headings? How about some imaginative (photoshop’d) locations thanks to Worth1000? Because if locations like these were in your scripts, you’ll probably need to use some Secondary He...

• Strip the Script

  How do you avoid having a rubbish script? Learn how to identify what's necessary and what's not and throw out the junk. What's the junk? Read on to find out from top L.A. teacher Jeff Kitchen. The work of the amateur screenwriter is often character...

• Technology and Screenwriting 2.0

  In our series about screenwriting software, the people behind some of the leading titles contribute to this blog. Our guest this week is Eric McDonald, CEO of Zhura.com. While screenwriting is rarely credited as a driver of new technology, it ce...

• Ten Format Mistakes

  I should clarify that this is from one of my TriggerStreet script reviews, and thus, it's the top ten mistakes one specific writer made in his unproduced spec. (And this is not to embarrass him, either. He's a good writer with a promising future.) But...

• The (Necessary) Evil of Dialogue

  Zinneman called it a 'necessary evil' and wordsmith par excellence David Mamet says: "A good film script should be able to do completely without dialogue." I am not an expert, not even a native English speaker and I most certainly lack a deep knowledg...

• The Art of Dialects (2)

  Mystery Man left us some time before 5 June of this year. The Story Department continues to republish his best articles on Monday. Here, you'll also be informed about the posthumous release of his screenwriting book. "Let’s go back to New York Cit...

• The Dirty Draft

  As I write this I’m knee-deep in dirty words. No, not the four-letter variety, although I may mouth off a few if I don’t meet my self-imposed deadline this weekend and finish a first draft of a script. And therein lies the rub. If I write dirty...

• The Three C's of a Scene

  Your primary focus is on story and less on writing scenes, sharp dialogue or gripping action. Inevitably, though, once figured out your characters and their journeys, you are down to the daunting task of writing that next draft. You will be writing a...

• The Timid Screenwriter (2)

  Naturally, everyone knows you must keep your action lines in the present tense and use active verbs because you are in the moment with the characters as you are watching a film. But what are other qualities that would characterize the timid screenwrite...

• Translating Visions

  At one time or another, all of us, have been told by those wiser that we should “write visually” as screenwriters. It’s good advice and frankly no self-respecting screenwriter should ever stop thinking visually. But, what exactly does it mean? ...

• Trust the Reader

  I want to say a word on trusting the reader. An inevitable sign of growth in a new writer - and we all go through this arc - is in the area of trusting the reader. Newbies who haven't developed the discipline of trusting the reader tend to over-expl...

• What You're Up Against

  I thought I should give you a flavour of the competition, for when you're feeling a bit down. Below is the copy of an actual query letter I received. (names and titles have been changed to protect the innocent) Perhaps after all you are not doing ...

• Who get their first films/scripts made?

  It's not those with the best movie idea. It's not the ones with the greatest script either, nor those with the most writing experience. The ones who get their movies made are those who can make people believe they have the best movie idea, the gr...

• Write the Shots (2)

  So let’s talk about writing the shots. I once had a brief conversation about this topic in e-mail with Jennifer van Sijll, a screenwriting professor, consultant, former professional reader for Universal, and author of Cinematic Storytelling. (wha...

• Write the Shots! (1)

  Okay, let’s just clear the air of so much bad thinking about action lines. I don’t know how or why this happened, but a lot of newbies seem to think that a scene is comprised of two or three things only. . 1) a Master Scene Heading (such as I...

• Your fastest draft ever

  Did you know there's a Secret Weapon to improve your script immediately, in a matter of minutes? Final Draft has it, Microsoft Word has it. Every single word processor has it. It's the "Find/Replace" function. Okay, perhaps it's more like a 'pass' r...

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Guest Contributions

• A Filmmaker Speaks (2): Making It.

  Award winning writer/director Christina Andreef has seen it all – not getting into film school, working with Jane Campion’s and finally seeing her own films at Cannes and Sundance. Cleo Mees spoke with Christina about writing for the screen and ...

• A Grant Winner's Praise and Gripes

  Mark Familton received a $12,000 grant to develop his gritty sci-fi thriller feature – something any screenwriter would beg for.  But what was the grant all about, what was the process and what did he get out of it at the end? (Unfortunately the NSP...

• Agents: Some Fine Print

  A few people responded with valid comments to our last article on agents. Rather than a lengthy response in the comments, here are some thoughts on the agent's commission percentage and hiring an entertainment attorney instead of having an agent. 1)...

• Alien: Sex in deep space

  With a prequel to the 1979 hit flick Alien directed by Ridley Scott in the works, Bryn Tilly re-opens the case on the original film and dissects what is brooding under its surface... “The people who made the first Alien were artists, Ridley Sco...

• Animation Imagination

  Our short film season reached an unexpected climax with the nomination of 'Tin Can Heart' for an Inside Film Award Best Animation alongside The Cat Piano and Chicken of God. Writer/director Rod March talks about writing for animation. What was the st...

• Beat Writer’s Block

  Some days, when you’re writing a script, are just downright awful.  Right? You sit there staring at the screen or the paper and you’re… What?  Empty, stuck, stumped?  If it goes on too long you become convinced that you’re blocked. Oh, damn...

• Blake Snyder - A Giant Shadow

  Less than two months ago, on this blog Mark Familton wrote a guest article in which he referred to his work with Blake Snyder. To honour Blake's memory, today he shares a little more of his experience working with Blake. I worked with Blake for nine ...

• Bringing Up Baby

  I was surprised to read the following quote from respected Australian screenwriter Keith Thompson: "an overt focus on structure may be to the detriment of the script overall. He prefers to discuss scripts using more generic terms such as beginning, mi...

• Can't get ME out of my mind.

  Theorists have grappled with the idea for decades, directors have had hissy fits… WAAPA directing student Ngaire O’Leary reflects on the filmmaker’s challenge of using a visual language that audiences will understand. The answer? Get out of you...

• Character Change vs. Revelation

  Joe Forrest looks at an important difference between characters. On the one hand there are those who change over the course of a story and then those who don't change,  but instead discover or reveal hidden traits deep within their personality. CHAR...

• Chick Flick

  The third film in our series of short animations nominated for an Inside Film award is 'Chicken of God', directed and written by the animated Frank Woodley; Aussie comedian extraordinaire. Frank tells us about writing, directing and chickens. How d...

• Confessions of a Scriptwriter (1)

  What makes a scriptwriter? Have you really got what it takes to be successful? In his second contribution to The Story Department, filmmaker and teacher Jack Feldstein bares all and gives us his honest advice on the matter. 1. IS A SCRIPTWRIT...

• Confessions of a Scriptwriter (2)

  What makes a scriptwriter? Have you really got what it takes to be successful? Fresh back from presenting The Fantastical World of Scriptwriting in New York for the celebration of the 40th Anniversary of Woodstock, in this second contribution to The ...

• Confessions of a Scriptwriter (3)

  What makes a scriptwriter? Have you really got what it takes to be successful? In this third contribution to The Story Department, Jack Feldstein gives us his honest advice on the matter. Previously: Confessions of a Scriptwriter (1) Confessio...

• Cut the Second Draft Paste

  Here's the next contribution in our series of guest posts. Screenwriter John Pace has the solution to a fresh, immeasurably better 2nd draft. There will be resistance but it only proves you're in denial. Just follow John's advice and do what you need t...

• Desire: the Primacy of Purpose

  Next month, Michael Hauge and Steve Kaplan will be in Australia for two weekends of story classes. This month we run a special guest contribution by Michael Hauge plus we give Melbournians the chance to win a free ticket to the event (worth $445). I w...

• Farewell, Blake

  I have been referring to SAVE THE CAT more and more often lately.  Blake brought the importance of concept and broad story structure back to the craft of screenwriting. To give you a glimpse of Blake and his books, I quote Carson Reeves' blog. Snyd...

• Formatting Scripts To Sell

  The point of every script is to be made into a film - obviously. Yet why do so some great stories never make it to the screen? Christopher Riley gives us some advice on how to take the final hurdle to becoming a working screenwriter. Before a film o...

• Guilty Pleasures

  Writer/Producer Meg Shields reflects on the development of her script which recently won the Bill Warnock Feature Writers Awards in WA.  Will this mean a future in which she can buy her kids birthday cakes without the guilt of not baking them? With...

• Hollywood's Best Kept Secret

  What is Hollywood’s Best Kept Screenwriting Secret? Answer: The Expanded Scene Breakdown. What is the Expanded Scene Breakdown? Read on to find out! Another step in the screenwriting process, you ask? The Expanded Scene Breakdown is a 20 to 40...

• How To Write A Great Script

  Everybody always says it. The one surefire way to break into the industry is to write a great script. “All you have to do is write a great script,” they say. “Ohhhh,” you reply, “That’s it? “That’s all I had to do all this time??...

• How to Write a Readable Script

  What are the primary criteria that will ensure your script stands out from the rest? Steven Fernandez reveals some essential secrets to getting read. In my 4½ months in LA, one of the most important screenwriting lessons I learned is that there are ...

• How, Not If

  I play games like I once used to read novels. There exists a pile and as I finish each game (taking a number of weeks and occasionally months each) I move immediately onto the next, working my way through the continually replenishing stack. FINISH? I...

• I Don't Believe In Scripts (2)

  Many films produced at UTS by students were undisciplined attempts at story telling, seemingly without methodology. In fact, considering the subject's structure, students were all but encouraged to defy story-telling conventions rather than lear...

• I don't believe in scripts. (1)

  Story telling has always been a tool for people to make sense of life. It's a way to boil reality down to a smaller and more manageable size. In a fast paced culture of constant communications film, TV and new media have gained a huge significance ...

• If you can dream it …

  For many of the planet’s children the impossible unfolded on Christmas Eve… A benevolent, unshaven fat guy in a red suit will be hauled around the globe on a ten tonne sleigh stuffed with toys by a team of reindeer (one red-nosed) who can fly. W...

• Introducing Minor Characters

  Does the guy appearing only in the second scene of your script for half a page really need a two-page intro? Christina Hamlett shows you how and why you should put your energies into the characters that count. [scrippet]EXT. CHICAGO STREET - NIGHT ...

• Is screenwriting for me? (1)

  Our guest post series has opened to the readers, so it is your turn. Aspiring screenwriter Terrence ponders over a question that has bugged all of us at some point: "Is screenwriting for me?" Post: Terrence Editor: Cleo Mees The bustling ...

• Is screenwriting for me? (2)

  Our series of guest posts is opening up to the readers, so it is now your turn. In his contribution to The Story Department, aspiring screenwriter Terrence ponders over the question that has bugged all of us some time: "Is screenwriting for me?" Read P...

• Kenny - Plumbing the depths

  National Screenwriters' Conference 2009: Kenny - Plumbing the depths by: David Tiley Screen Hub Thursday 26 February, 2009 Before opening a completely charming discussion with Andrew Knight about the writing of ‘Kenny’, Clayton Jacobson ...

• Leave the Right Things Out

  Freelance writer/ cinephile Bryn Tilly read the book and watched the movie. Now he scrutinises the changes - and particularly the omissions -author John Ajvide Linqvist made when adapting his own novel Let the Right One In for the screen. I saw Let...

• Marketing The Epic Story

  Every screenwriter has a blockbuster story that is going to make them millions and catapult them in to the 'A' list in one fell swoop. Yet, how do you get your script to the right people? Steven Fernandez shares a few secrets to getting that story made...

• Mental Spackle

  Spackle |ˈspakəl| Noun: A compound used to fill cracks in plaster and produce a smooth surface. What is 'mental spackle'? Merrel Davis explains how to ensure you fill all the gaps in your script. Mental Spackle is a term I’ve coined to describe...

• My Writing Journey

  The Story Department is a platform for sharing screenwriting insights and writing tips but we also regularly publish stories of writers at the beginning of their journey. Today's story is that of Nigel Graves, a client who became a friend. I love mo...

• NCS '09: What did I miss?

  Tracy Richardson is a former Story Department student and client whose debut script LIGHTING UP has been moving forward steadily since being selected a finalist in a national pitching competition back in 2006. Last year she worked with Michael Hauge...

• Never, ever leave your vehicle.

  How would you like it to be commissioned to write a feature film, even without any produced feature credits? In our series of guest articles, we are proud to have the exclusive feature breaking-in story by Clive Hopkins, the writer of ROAD TRAIN. In 2...

• Optimizing Your Pitch

  You’ve got your hot little script in your hands. What next? How do you get it to see the light of day? Pitch it. Steven Fernandez has been there, done that and shares some essential tips in face-to-face pitching. Hello fellow writers!  I am going...

• OZ Filmers: "If they only loved us."

  Why don’t the majority of Australian films attract Australian audiences? Metro Screen in Sydney threw down the gauntlet before a panel of industry players, while Dominic Case picked through the shifting and diverse opinions. “We are a lying, hyp...

• Pitching’s Holy Trinity

  There are two ways to pitch your scripts: in person, or via query letter. Learning to perfect the verbal pitch, though, only makes sense for writers who already have representation. For everyone else, I suggest learning pitching’s holy trinity. Let m...

• Screenplays from Estonia

  It's 4 AM. I am not writing. I am waiting. It's that feeling of nervous energy contrasted with heavy eyelids on dry, malfunctioning eyes. Taste of diet coke in my mouth. Tenseness in the stomach. A cool breeze blows from the open window, but eve...

• Screenwriting Expo - Day 1

  Producer/scribe James Nicholas flew from Sydney to L.A. to attend the Screenwriting Expo. He generously reports back about his brush with the Gurus and any lesser Gods. Upon entering the convention centre, the air is filled with anticipation as th...

• Screenwriting Expo: Day 2 & 3

  After an invigorating but relatively exhausting Day 1, the rooms were overflowing as the L.A. locals who couldn’t get a day off on Friday came to pitch/sit in on sessions. DAY 2 I had my day planned out and the first of the mark was Billy Mernit....

• Screenwriting for Editing

  "The humbling truth is that the film is made in the editing room". -David Mamet The screenwriter is the first step in the film making process and the editor, the last. How do you write a script that'll produce an edit-ready film? Editors are oft...

• Script Development - Step by Step

  In our series about screenwriting software, the people behind some of the leading titles contribute to this blog. Our guest this week is Dan Bronzite, CEO of Movie Outline. Is there a right or wrong way to write a screenplay? Is one piece of soft...

• Strip the Script

  How do you avoid having a rubbish script? Learn how to identify what's necessary and what's not and throw out the junk. What's the junk? Read on to find out from top L.A. teacher Jeff Kitchen. The work of the amateur screenwriter is often character...

• Structure: Elephant In The Room

  Story structure has become a riddle. We have bona fide experts, people with solid credentials, telling us story structure is critical. Many argue that story structure comes in 1 or 3 or 4 or 5 or 7 or even 9 acts! Others proclaim story structure to be...

• Structure: Elephant In The Room (2)

  You've got to bear with me here. Computer networks are designed according to topologies: notions of the layout of the computers on the network in relation to one another. Networks are said to have topologies which are both physical and logical. Confr...

• Structure: Elephant In The Room (3)

  The physical structure of screenplays does “the carrying” up on the surface or plot level in any grouping of components which the writer deems necessary and which allows the story to succeed. The logical structure of screenplays, on the other hand,...

• The 4 Challenges of Adaptation

  Brimming with confidence, you've just purchased the rights to John Doe's fabulous, but little known novel, Lawrence of Monrovia. Panic sets in. "What was I thinking? How the devil am I going to convert this 1,400-page novel to a 110-page screenplay?" ...

• The Deadline Approach

  We're thrilled to have a guest contribution from acclaimed screenwriter and teacher Paul Gulino. The author of the excellent and underrated book THE SEQUENCE APPROACH looks at a powertool of anticipation: the deadline. Almost all writers are fami...

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News

• Anyone Can Cook

  Earlier this year, a friend of mine bought an expensive High Definition Video camera. He had saved up for it for a long time. In stead he could have bought a second hand Subaru. But he doesn't care he doesn't have a car. He has a dream. The Australian ...

• Better Things to Come

  TheStoryDepartment.com.au may show some less than convenient quirks this weekend.   Lee and I are flying our trusted server over to a faster and more reliable host in sunny California. Meanwhile you can just keep reading... photo credit: ArtBrom U...

• Bring on the Hero

  "Australia and Germany are two cultures that seem slightly herophobic." -Christopher Vogler About ten years ago I was first introduced to the Hero's Journey. Since then I have found myself regularly relying on it when explaining essential story structu...

• Chris Weekes tops The Black List

  A big congratulations to Chris Weekes, whose script MUPPET MAN tops the newly released Black List with Hollywood's most liked unproduced scripts. It's great for Chris and it's more egg on the faces of those who couldn't see his talent while he was w...

• Creative Master Ron Cobb

  The Story Dept. is proud to be part of the first Creative Masters Forum DVD: "Ron Cobb: Concept to Creation" Karel Segers interviews the legendary writer/director, designer, concept artist Ron Cobb about his life, his cartoons, his view...

• Dang! It's Purple?!?

  I woke up this morning and the site had a purple look and feel to it! It's not an early April Fool's joke, just proof that the transition from Melbourne (AU) to Culver City (CA) was successful. We're now looking at the new Story Department servers with...

• Diagnosis: Obsession

  Occasionally I receive requests to read a first draft and even a first draft by a first time writer. I do indeed offer story consultancy but these are requests to read - for free - with the hope of getting a producer's attachment. With all due respect,...

• Do you have the tools?

  One of Celtx's first three new "Learning Templates" is a tool pack for script development: "The Writer's Development Kit". I can highly recommend it, not only because of its ridiculously low price ($1.95) but also because I wrote it. :) There h...

• Elephant in the Room

  "Babies don't come from babies", Keith Jarrett said when he meant that great art isn't inspired by other art but by life itself. This quote shot through my mind tonight while watching the Australian film 2:37 by Murali Thalluri. I had ordered 2:37 ...

• Farewell Mystery Man

  Next Saturday it would have been 100 days since I last heard from MM. When I reflected on this last week, I realized he had never been completely silent for that long. Today I received the sad news our dear friend passed away. I had the honor and the...

• First, Break All the Rules

  When I asked this student which one thing she remembered above anything else, she replied: "That you can break the rules, and get away with it." She was not my student. In itself there's nothing wrong with trying, but it saddens me that Heath Ledger's ...

• For the Love of the Blog

  On Friday I was a guest again on Larry Jordan's Digital Production Buzz, a talk radio on digital production. I've learned to be suspicious on those days because it seems each time disaster strikes. . Last time, back in 2008, my home page was hacke...

• iPhone on ... and "Fade In"

  Less than a year ago, Apple had 10,000 iPhone apps in store. Today there are 75,000. Are there any good ones for screenwriters? Well, read on! Cherie Lee road tested some, built our own Top 5 and reviews them for your technological enjoyment. With th...

• iPhone Reloaded

  Three months ago today, we reviewed the hottest iPhone apps for screenwriters and filmmakers. Since then, no less than 25,000 new apps have flooded iTunes. Cherie Lee once again puts her social life in jeopardy to spend some time with her iPhone. Let...

• Jaws Structure scores 1,000+ views

  On 8 September, the top post on The Story Department, Structure: Jaws broke through the 1,000 views barrier. The simple analysis was posted over a year ago and the numbers only represent visits since we started logging the statistics earlier this year...

• Just Ad(d) Words

  No post in September. I had other matters to attend to (photo). (For the whole story, you may have to brush up on your Dutch.) If you're set in your writing ways and happy with your Underwood, just skip straight to the DVD Commentary section. Otherwis...

• Karel at WordCamp Australia

  I'm expressing my gratitude to the team behind WordPress at WordCamp Australia in Sydney. More photos on the blog of WordPress founder Matt Mullenweg. WordPress is the amazing free, Open Source software powering this and millions of other blogs aro...

• Killing My Darlings

  This blog started when a certain analysis of Michael Mann's THE INSIDER sparked my frustration. Discussing BLADE RUNNER in a story workshop recently, I felt I was close to doing the exact same thing. To this date I don't fully agree with her INSIDER an...

• Mid-Point: One Flew over the Cuckoo's Nest

  The two-disk release of ONE FLEW OVER THE CUCKOO's nest features a great commentary by director Milos Forman and producers Michael Douglas and Saul Zaentz. Forman is known for his ability to bring out phenomenal performances and with his trademark C...

• NOT Story

  Last year I attended Linda Aronson's PLOT CONSTRUCTION WORKSHOP and was disappointed with her analysis of Michael Mann's THE INSIDER. Indirectly that disappointment would lead to the creation of this blog. Rather than opening a dialogue about why TH...

• OZ Film Vs. OZ Audience

  Today some high profile industry people will be debating why Australian films are unpopular with the audience. I have blogged about this before but I believe these are the six key factors that have brought our industry to its knees: Australian fil...

• PUPPY: First Ozzy Indie on BluRay

  Australia has its first independent feature film on BluRay and it's Kieran Galvin's PUPPY, which I worked on as a co-producer (and a couple of other roles, too). Kieran pitched the idea to me one day in Melbourne and soon after we started developing it...

• Screenwriting Expo: Day 2 & 3

  After an invigorating but relatively exhausting Day 1, the rooms were overflowing as the L.A. locals who couldn’t get a day off on Friday came to pitch/sit in on sessions. DAY 2 I had my day planned out and the first of the mark was Billy Mernit....

• Scripped.com and Zhura.com merge

  The CEO's of  and Scripped.com  and Zhura.com have just announced the merger of their companies in an email to their members. Both have provided online script formatting services for the past 2 and 3 years. Together they claim they will be the lar...

• Seizing the Sword

  Once past the Ordeal, the hero is ready to Seize the Sword, says Chris Vogler. In July we received development funding for THE MORTAL COIL. Next it was selected into SPAAmart and now the AFC is funding the production of the animation ACID SUN, after on...

• Snapshot (that'll never be)

  While you're all happily holidaying, we have some intense labouring behind the scenes in order to bring you the new 2010 version of The Story Dept., from early January. The screen shot is not the final layout as you could have expected. Where is the s...

• Stop digging: Holy Grail found!

  This may well be the best you will find on screenwriting this year. Thanks to Mystery Man & crew, you now have access to the minds of George Lucas, Steven Spielberg and Lawrence Kasdan at the time they were putting together the core story elemen...

• Stop Reading Scripts

  THE DA VINCI CODE came and went, PIRATES OF THE CARRIBEAN: DEAD MAN'S CHEST came and stayed and our own dear THE MORTAL COIL receives development funding from our own dear AFC! But let's not distract from those other Things That Matter in the world of ...

• Structuring the Facts

  Turning real events into a working screen drama is a hell of a challenge. Whether it be a historical movie, biography or docu-drama, the smart screenwriter remains true to the spirit of the subject rather than an accurate report of the events. Plus: th...

• The Art of Romantic Comedy

  Karel Segers attended the Michael Hauge/Steve Kaplan double bill in Sydney and Vi Truong did the same in Melbourne. We have mixed our reviews of the event in order to give you a more or less balanced report of both weekends. Karel Segers: I was lookin...

• The best eggs come after Easter

  Stop press! Here is the next best thing to hit the blogosphere after the release of the Raiders Story Conference. Jason Kottke was tipped off on some scripts of The Wire that are accessible through an online file server. The Wire is to my taste (an...

• The Good Read

  Recently I had the privilege and honour of reading a script by one of the most hyped young writers in this country, face on covers of magazines and all that. My expectations were high and yes: it delivered! I spent an amazing two hours reading it as...

• The Main Man (m/f)

  "Most writers work alone. They send in the script and it gets rejected. And they never find out why. The fact is, you can't succeed as a professional writer if you don't get professional feedback. You must find out the weaknesses of your story or scrip...

• The Mobile Dept.

  No matter how much I love the new cool look of The Story Department, on my phone it kinda looks pathetic. For the alarmingly increasing amount of iPhone users among my readers, I just had to do something about the mobile readability of the site. Like...

• The Secret

  While you were out celebrating New Year's Eve, I was watching David Cronenberg's eXistenZ on DVD. Not that I'm such a pathetic hermit; it was just my wife's fun idea of closing the Old Year. She admitted afterwards she might have been wrong. Missing th...

• The Story Department in Top 50

  Very proud to find out that this little blog has made it into the Top 50 Australian blogs on writing. We're currently at a humble 49th position, but according to this list we're ranking as the #1 Screenwriting Blog. If you are a regular reader, you w...

• Two Dee Or Not Two Dee

  If you go see only one movie this year, let it be Toy Story 3. (People say I might change my mind in a few weeks after seeing Inception, but I doubt it.) Toy Story 3 scores on every level and it scores very, very highly. I have ranted about my exper...

• What just happened??

  I have seen The Hurt Locker and I enjoyed it. But I don't get the hype. Is this a memorable movie? Is it memorable for the right reasons? I'd love to hear your comments. I have serious doubts whether most people who voted for the Best Original Scr...

• Wonderful 2010!

  Wow. There's been some work behind the scenes. A few days ago it looked like the new style was going to be very different. But there we are. With a big thank you to Lee Sheppard. And we'll kick off with an article about The Story Department. Not thi...

• Writing in Sin

  After seeing CANDY tonight, I'm baffled that so-called established filmmakers can get it so wrong. And let me tell you, it is not THAT hard. First: a three 'part' structure is not a three 'act' structure. And a movie lacking drama will fail. Guaranteed...

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Pitching and Selling

• Network where the action is

  I'm not good at networking or socialising. At least I never thought I was. People kept telling me to go to certain parties, but until recently I thought I'd just make a fool of myself, trying desperately to impress „the important people“. But then...

• Networking for Scribes (Twelve Easy Steps)

  It's no secret that part of every screenwriter's job is to get the work out. By any means necessary. Writing a great script is indeed only half the work, which is why it's going to be so busy at the Burbank Marriott next weekend. A while ago, I gave...

• Optimizing Your Pitch

  You’ve got your hot little script in your hands. What next? How do you get it to see the light of day? Pitch it. Steven Fernandez has been there, done that and shares some essential tips in face-to-face pitching. Hello fellow writers!  I am going...

• Pitching’s Holy Trinity

  There are two ways to pitch your scripts: in person, or via query letter. Learning to perfect the verbal pitch, though, only makes sense for writers who already have representation. For everyone else, I suggest learning pitching’s holy trinity. Let m...

• Query massage!

  Yesterday was about HOW TO. Today: How NOT TO. What follows might make you feel (a lot) better about your own query letters.  If, however, either letter looks like yours, better start looking at the more positive aspects of your day job. The title "Q...

• The Road to Representation

  Nine years ago I discovered I wanted to be a screenwriter. A few weeks ago I became one. That’s not true. I’ve been one for nine years, but a few weeks ago somebody else finally gave me an opportunity. Can you appreciate how weird that is? You s...

• The Screenwriter's First Pay Check

  You sweated and slogged for months to perfect the script. You’ve fought and bled another few months pitching everywhere in LA. At last, a producer has recognised your talent. She agrees to buy it. Hooray! You’ve made your first sale! Congratul...

• The Twitter Pitch

  With movie executives making decisions in split seconds and people's attention spans decreasing frighteningly rapidly (is this sentence getting a little long for you, already?) surely Twitter must be offering screenwriters a massive opportunity. S...

• They've already won

  At a recent networking event, I met two filmmakers, 14 and 16 years old. When I asked them in what capacity they were there, they said: "Oh, we're just trying to network as much as possible." I had to bite my tongue it seemed so funny. I wanted to fig...

• Understanding the Agent

  Hollywood agents: to trust or not to trust? What is the reality of an agent's role in your screenwriting career? Our Hollywood insider, Steven Fernandez gives us the low down... One of the many learnings I gained from my 4½ month sabbatical at LA w...

• Writings of a Reader

  Ever wondered what goes on inside the minds of the fragrant few who get hired to read our screenplays? Those who rip through our darlings, scribble down notes and then disseminate our precious stories to their even sweeter-smelling bosses? After rece...

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Story and Structure Articles

• 7 Lessons from Mamet

  You've probably seen the memo to the writing staff of the now defunct show, The Unit, by David Mamet. I've had a closer look at the memo and broken it down into seven main statements.  Mamet's take on drama in a nuthell or... Aristotle for TV. 1. IN...

• A Screenwriting Revolution!

  I’ve been having some revolutionary thoughts lately. And these are beyond the ordinary musings of a screenwriter, such as, “I’d love to see a nuclear explosion wipe out these ego-maniacal fucks in Hollywood.” No, my thoughts have centered mor...

• A Screenwriting Trilemma

  To complete the journey, the Hero often overcomes a dilemma. I'll show you - the screenwriter - a dilemma you may have never been aware of... Don't fret: I'll also show the way out, straight into a wondrous third act finale. The end of bad writing. ...

• A Story within a (Toy) Story

  In great movies, structural principles apply to more than one level: story, act, sequence etc. Once you understand how drama functions, you can apply it to EVERY level of the story. Earlier we have looked at how the Mentor Sequence in The Untouchable...

• An ending left up in the air

  Last night I watched UP IN THE AIR. Finally. Before I went to see the film, I read a few pages from the script (including the end scene) and I truly loved what I read. The film, however, didn't pay off on my expectation in some ways. Personally I ...

• Arcs and Endings (1)

  The finest writing not only reveals true character, but arcs or changes to that inner nature, for better or worse. In 1998 McKee signed my first edition hardback of STORY. He wrote: “To Karel: Tell the TRUTH!” Ironically with the quote at...

• Arcs and Endings (2)

  Should you write a happy ending? Commercial common sense will tell you: yes, you should. Robert McKee says: "Tell the truth." (see the previous post) McKee means: your story needs to reflect your worldview. If you contradict whatever you belie...

• Arcs and Endings (3)

  In a Q&A for Creative Screenwriting Magazine, Michael Arndt made the point that "happy endings are really underrated". It got me thinking. What's wrong with a Hollywood ending? If you have a truly well-written story, why would a happy ending ...

• Are you a Reverse Chess Master?

  My brother is three years younger than me. When we were kids, the perception was that I was way smarter than him. But he would beat me at chess and I hated him for it. How was this possible? Unlike my brother, I received good marks at school because...

• Beat Writer’s Block

  Some days, when you’re writing a script, are just downright awful.  Right? You sit there staring at the screen or the paper and you’re… What?  Empty, stuck, stumped?  If it goes on too long you become convinced that you’re blocked. Oh, damn...

• Blade Runner: The 8 Mins First Act

  If you want to be a professional screenwriter, be open to spoilers. Furthermore, be open to the weaknesses in your favourite films. Most often, it won't harm your love for the film. Some of the handful of films I re-watch every year, I won't mention...

• Character Change vs. Revelation

  Joe Forrest looks at an important difference between characters. On the one hand there are those who change over the course of a story and then those who don't change,  but instead discover or reveal hidden traits deep within their personality. CHAR...

• Checklist: Active Protagonist

  Are you struggling with a passive protagonist? Let's look into what causes a character to be passive. A hero is not 'active' because he is constantly running, fighting, arguing etc. A hero is not 'passive' because he is never running, fighting, argu...

• Dances with Smurfs

  Even before AVATAR's release, parallels with other films emerged. Cameron has admitted a similarity with DANCES WITH WOLVES and a certain Matt Bateman ticked the boxes convincingly for POCAHONTAS.  The web is rife with comparisons. Here are six: DAN...

• Desire: the Primacy of Purpose

  Next month, Michael Hauge and Steve Kaplan will be in Australia for two weekends of story classes. This month we run a special guest contribution by Michael Hauge plus we give Melbournians the chance to win a free ticket to the event (worth $445). I w...

• Don't Try This At Home

  Energized by the words of the Guru, the screenwriter heads home and starts rewriting like mad. Never did she deliver a draft so great, so quickly. Amazing what you can do, when riding the wave of an inspiring seminar or script workshop! Dangerous. ...

• Elements of Suspense (1)

  “If, in the first chapter, you say there is a gun hanging on the wall, you should make quite sure that it is going to be used further on in the story.” - Anton Chekhov Okay, first, let’s talk about AUDIENCE KNOWLEDGE. There is available onl...

• Elements of Suspense (2)

  The Elements of Suspense also talked about editing in order to maximize tension, that when emotions are high, Hitchcock resorted to tight shots and close-ups, but when the tension is over, he’ll fall back on medium shots. This is common. And ...

• Events vs. Actions

  In the context of story I often speak of EVENTS and ACTIONS. In essence it's a very simple and at the same time hugely important concept. Among many other things it can save you from the dreaded 'passive protagonist' syndrome. Simply put, it's about ...

• Everyone Is Special (in OZ).

  Apart from the odd tweet, I have been relatively quiet lately. Quietly brooding, listening and watching. But that little odd tweet now strikes back, in a 1,000 word blog post. And a call to writers to wake up and denounce the TV preachers. I know, I...

• Exposition in Cameron's The Abyss

  Yesterday I had the enormous privilege and honor of watching James Cameron's The Abyss on the big screen, sitting next to the movie's concept designer Ron Cobb. The last time I saw the film in a cinema was at a preview before its release in 1986. The ...

• Flashbacks are Your Friend.

  So, the question – what is the point and purpose of a flashback? A flashback is usually a revelation of character, is it not? It shows us something in the past that helps to explain a character’s current state. We see the character, we see a flash...

• Four flaws that kill your Hero.

  To build a strong character arc, the writer sets up the Hero's flaw early on. A flaw is a weakness for the Hero but a strength to the story. However, not EVERY flaw works. Some hero flaws can sink your script - and your movie. Before we dive into t...

• Hitch on Pure Cinema

  "Photographs of people talking... bares no relation to the art of the cinema." That quote alone makes this clip of Hitchcock wisdom worth watching. Will your screenplay result in "photographs of people talking"? Or will it instead be pure cinema? A...

• Hollywood's Best Kept Secret

  What is Hollywood’s Best Kept Screenwriting Secret? Answer: The Expanded Scene Breakdown. What is the Expanded Scene Breakdown? Read on to find out! Another step in the screenwriting process, you ask? The Expanded Scene Breakdown is a 20 to 40...

• How To Write A Great Script

  Everybody always says it. The one surefire way to break into the industry is to write a great script. “All you have to do is write a great script,” they say. “Ohhhh,” you reply, “That’s it? “That’s all I had to do all this time??...

• How to Write a Story? (Video)

  All my successful writer friends and clients are writing every day. Moreover, they are constantly coming up with new stories. But how do you do this? How can you come up with new material? How to discipline yourself? This very short but powerful vid...

• How, Not If

  I play games like I once used to read novels. There exists a pile and as I finish each game (taking a number of weeks and occasionally months each) I move immediately onto the next, working my way through the continually replenishing stack. FINISH? I...

• Inciting Incident: Definitions

  Inciting Incident, Catalyst, Call to Adventure, Disturbance. All terms referring to the first crucial moment: the point where your story kicks off. Michael Hauge closes the first of his six story stages with it, at the 10% point of the story (10mins...

• Inciting Incident: Event, not Action.

  When talking about story structure, many people talk about where exactly in the story the structural element needs to happen. Often this is expressed in terms of a page number, or even a percentage of the film's total duration. I would prefer to lea...

• Inciting Incident: Planting the Bomb

  Keeping the audience interested throughout the 'setup' is a major challenge as professional readers won't last until the Inciting Incident if the first ten or twelve pages don't deliver. The 'setup' is often a complete sequence in which we see the '...

• Inventor or Innovator?

  Will you ever come up with a truly original movie concept? Look at it like this: how many unique ideas does one have in a day? Truly original ideas, such that you're the first human being to conceive it? For most of us, the answer is: none. We may ...

• Learn From My Mistakes

  Recently a thought occurred to me. Two of the short films I produced each have the exact same story problem. I will explain it to you, so you have no excuse whatsoever to make this same mistake. Aerosol (2005) is the story of a factory worker who ha...

• Learn from other people's mistakes

  When the Australian Writers Guild NSW organised a night with prominent script editors, one of the questions to the panel was about the most common mistakes. From the answers I have compiled the list below, together with ten common problems from my o...

• Logline: Definitions

  Let's start by saying what it isn't. It is not a tagline. It is not really a one-paragraph synopsis either. (and it's definitely not a slug line) The Australian Film Commission says: "filmmakers are often asked to supply a one sentence version o...

• Logline: Examples

  A 17th Century tale of adventure on the Caribbean Sea where the roguish yet charming Captain Jack Sparrow joins forces with a young blacksmith in a gallant attempt to rescue the Governor of England's daughter and reclaim his ship. (2/5: no inner journ...

• Logline: Introduction

  McKee's STORY gave me the illusion the logline is one of the last things you ever write. Why? Because during development, things can change. Of course McKee is right. The creative process is unpredictable and you know where you start but you don't k...

• Monomyth for Gamers

  Story Department intern Rusty asked: "all over the blog, I keep reading about the Hero's Journey. At the risk of sounding dumb, is this a book I have not yet read, or simply terminology I have yet to come across?" If he is asking, there's probably more...

• Mystery Man on Melodrama

  What is melodrama and how do we avoid it? I’ve noticed that people have differing interpretations of melodrama, ranging from “sad movie” to “soap operas” to “anything that’s on Lifetime” or, as one guy told me, “it’s anything writt...

• Mystery Man vs. Sherlock Holmes: 1-0

  Last Tuesday was Australia Day, so that was my excuse for not publishing my own weekly blog post. This week I was going to break down SHERLOCK HOLMES because you guys voted for it. Was going to... You'll have to wait. I have been fighting some prett...

• On Adaptations

  Let me get on my Project Gutenberg soapbox.  One of the most under-appreciated opportunities for aspiring screenwriters is Project Gutenberg. As many of you know very well, most assignment jobs screenwriters pick-up are adaptations of known works. ...

• Plot => Character (Rituals => Tribe)

  Character or plot. Which comes first? Some say character prevails, others say it's a chicken and egg thing. But ... how do you define a character? In film, you can only reveal what a character is about by showing its actions. Dialogue doe...

• Plot Point: Brainstorming Plot Points

  Writing a first draft is in essence brainstorming plot points and writing them down in a more or less chronological order. It sounds as if I am simplifying things, but once you have cracked the essence of drama, it really is that simple. To under...

• Plot Point: Introduction

  The essence of 'plot point' is the essence of drama, yet I find it hard to define. There will always be unresolved elements in its definition, much in the same way the responses to a kid's unrelenting questions ultimately lead to the question about the...

• POV as Controller of Tone

  A toddler looks at a man pulling funny faces, moving his limbs in crazy spasms. He falls on the ground, he hits his head. The toddler jumps with excitement. A female bystander watches the scene, her face contorted, fighting back tears. The introducti...

• POV: McKee's View

  "The more time spent with a character, the more opportunity to witness his choices. The result is more empathy and emotional involvement between audience and character." -Robert McKee In his introduction about point of view (POV) in the scene, Rober...

• POV: Omniscient Point of View

  In an Australian government document relating to script development I found the term 'omnipotent POV'. In a specialised screenwriting magazine I read "omnipresent POV"(*). Both are plain wrong. You've got to wonder: if they can't even get the termin...

• POV: Ratatouille's Deleted Scene

  RATATOUILLE has 1 (one) deleted scene. It is a long, uninterrupted travel from a wide establishing shot of the Paris skyline down to street level, through the Auguste Gusteau restaurant and ending on a medium shot of Remi. The shot could have been sp...

• POV: When to Shift?

  Because the first shift of POV in a film may jolt the audience's experience, it works best where this brief 'disconnection' doesn't hurt the story: after a climax. The start of Act Two is a good place to move to the antagonist's POV. We have just...

• Screenwriting: Writing Drama (13)

  Yves Lavandier's book Writing Drama currently rates as the absolute favorite of our book reviewer Jack Brislee. To give you the opportunity to delve into Lavandier's amazing knowledge and insight, we will be publishing a weekly excerpt from the book. ...

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Structural Analyses (Movie Breakdowns)

• Structure: Avatar

  It took AVATAR 17 days to break through the $1bn worldwide. With the strongest 3rd weekend ever, it shows not only Fox's marketing works but word of mouth, too, is excellent. Audiences truly love the movie. To my taste - I was not raised on popcorn ...

• Structure: Ghost World

  A structural overview of Ghost World (Daniel Clowes, Terry Zwigoff, 2001). A cult comic, two charismatic teen actresses, an inspired director and a sparse score. Only six pages of still pictures were turned into one of the coolest movies of the de...

• Structure: Gladiator

  It hasn't been that long since we saw this year's Oscars Ceremony. But where are the movies? If you ask me: largely forgotten. So I felt compelled to look back at a Big Winner of 9 years ago. When Gladiator went on TV, I was the 'head of movies' fo...

• Structure: Inception

  It's by far the most talked-about movie of the year, because of its high concept and intelligent execution. The movie has an aura of complexity but when you examine the dramatic structure carefully, it is deceptively simple. See for yourself. My first...

• Structure: Iron Man

  A structural overview of Iron Man (Mark Fergus, Hawk Ostby, Art Marcum, Matt Holloway 2008) Not just a great comic book adaptation and an exciting action flick, but also an elegantly written piece of cinema entertainment, executed with a daring cast a...

• Structure: Jaws

  A structural overview of Jaws (Peter Benchley, Carl Gottlieb, Novel by Peter Benchley 1975) Steven Spielberg first drew me into movies with Close Encounters of the Third Kind, back in 1977. Because I was too young for Jaws in 1975, it wasn't until la...

• Structure: Juno

  A structural overview of Juno (Diablo Cody 2007) At the time of release, much of the attention surrounding JUNO went to the screenwriter rather than the script. Now the dust around Diablo Cody has settled, some voices have questioned the qualit...

• Structure: Michael Clayton

  A structural overview of Michael Clayton (Tony Gilroy, 2007) in 8 Sequences. When I watched the film during its theatrical release, I thoroughly enjoyed it. Because of the relatively low budget (an estimated USD$25m) for its production values, Tony Gi...

• Structure: Raiders of the Lost Ark

  A structural overview of Raiders of the Lost Ark (L. Kasdan, Story by G. Lucas and P. Kaufman 1981) The first film of the extraordinarily successful Indiana Jones quadrilogy, created by Spielberg and Lucas, the greatest filmmakers of their generat...

• Structure: Shaun of the Dead

  Shaun of the Dead (S. Pegg & E.Wright, 2004) was my first iTunes movie download. I needed it urgently and the download was quick & cheap. Pure craftmanship. No wonder the 'zomcom' made $30m worldwide This is comedy only the Brits can do well....

• Structure: Shawshank Redemption

  A structural overview of The Shawshank Redemption (Frank Darabont, 1994). It was nominated for seven Academy Awards: Best Picture, Best Actor (Morgan Freeman), Best Adapted Screenplay, Best Cinematography, Best Editing, Best Original Sc...

• Structure: Terminator 2

  A structural overview of Terminator 2: Judgment Day (J. Cameron, 1991). Terminator 2 offers amazing entertainment, with groundbreaking visual effects and unexpected character layers. Just like he did five years earlier with Aliens, co-writer/director...

• Structure: The Incredibles

  A structural overview of The Incredibles (Brad Bird 2004) "Animation is not a genre but an art form" says writer-director Brad Bird on the commentary track. This is one of the most enjoyable superhero action adventures I know. It is also the #1 movie...

• Structure: The Untouchables

  A structural overview of The Untouchables (David Mamet, 1986) David Mamet has never equaled the tremendous power of his eighties screenplays. The Postman Always Rings Twice, The Verdict, The Untouchables and even his own directorial debut House of Ga...

• Structure: Thelma & Louise

  I am a fan of Ridley Scott's flamboyant visual style of filmmaking. Although he has had numerous box office successes, in my view he has never equalled the overall excellence of THELMA & LOUISE (1991). It is a fabulous movie and an outstanding deb...

• Structure: Toy Story 1

  In his book Screenwriting: The Sequence Approach, Paul Gulino offers an excellent analysis of Toy Story 1, based upon the tools of anticipation.  The breakdown below follows this almost religiously, except only for some minor details. Apart from the ...

• Structure: Toy Story 2

  The second movie in the Toy Story trilogy resonates with me the most. Toy Story 3 builds on it thematically, far more than on the first installment. Like all Pixar pics, Toy Story 2 is not just a kids movie. It digs deeply into the fears of its charac...

• Structure: Toy Story 3

  Toy Story 3 is my favorite movie of the year and it will be hard to beat this. Usually when my expectations are high, I end up disappointed. Not here. The movie pays off on every possible level. It's fun, emotional and has tremendous depth. I have se...

• Structure: Up

  A structural overview of UP (Pete Docter, Bob Peterson, Thomas McCarthy 2009 I've been a big Pixar fan since stupidly missing out on the theatrical run of The Incredibles. In 2008 the festival potential of my own short animation Tin Can Heart - wr/di...

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