Apr
20
Structure: Ghost World
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A structural overview of
Ghost World
(Daniel Clowes, Terry Zwigoff, 2001).
A cult comic, two charismatic teen actresses, an inspired director and a sparse score. Only six pages of still pictures were turned into one of the coolest movies of the decade.
Because the plot points are often quite subtle, structurally this film seems a bit fluid and the protagonist’s objective is never explicitly stated. Yet there is a clear Hero’s Journey, with Enid Crossing the Threshold to enter and discover the Special World of Seymour. But where does this happen, at the end of Sequence B or C?
Enid is a reluctant character, and although she decides to enter the Special World, it is under a pretext. She will be resisting her attraction to Seymour (the Call to Adventure) until the second half of Act Two, when she explicitly suggests to Seymour she could move in (an Approach to the Inmost Cave).
At the end of Act Two, Enid goes through the crisis of losing both Becky and Seymour. The truth about her cruel joke on Seymour has to come out (an Ordeal, both for Enid and Seymour) before she is ready to move on.
I’m not sure if Enid’s visit to the hospital should be seen as the end of Act Two or the first scene of Act Three. Because the scene can be experienced as Enid’s redemption (the victim of her joke she calls now her hero) and she is finally honest about her feelings, I decided to put it in Act Two.
The scenes printed in blue represent the comic book source material that is – almost verbatim – included in the film. It shows how this is more than just an adaptation. It is almost entirely an original story, inspired by the characters created in the comic.
ACT ONE
SEQUENCE A: Life after Graduation
00.00 Panning across rear windows, against 50’s music.
02.30 Eccentric Enid, in her room, is dancing to the music.
03.00 Student graduation speeches; Enid &Rebecca roll eyes.
04.00 Gossiping outside school.
05.00 Enid & Rebecca in bar, making fun of un-cool girl.
06.00 Todd, making fun of the two girls.
07.30 Dennis, dork – not seeing him again: depressing.
08.00 Enid at breakfast with dad: an icon of boredom.
09.00 Enid & Becky at diner making fun, follow old ’satanists’.
10.30 Wowsville, 50’s diner; Weird Al serves.
11.30 Personals ’striking blonde’: plan for joke.
SEQUENCE B: A Cruel Joke
12.00 At Enid’s: calling the number, date at Wowsville.
14.00 Annoying Josh at the store, Doug interferes.
15.30 Please, Josh, give us a ride.
16.00 Driving with Josh.
16.30 Rebecca about Al “I want to make love to him.”
17.00 Seymour walks in, has vanilla milkshake.
18.00 Seymour leaves, cruel joke
18.30 Seymour’s near-accident; following; E. feels sympathy.
SEQUENCE C: Getting closer to Seymour
19.30 Art class;teacher announces community show.
21.00 Looking for flat, stalking Seymour, check his mail.
21.30 Garage sale; Seymour sells record. E.’s impressed.
24.00 Diner, E.: he’s almost cool. Un-cool friend: “funky”.
26.00 Enid dyes hair green, father enters. Rebecca watching.
26.30 Let’s go hassle Josh. Old man Norman at bus stop.
27.30 Josh is not home; Enid’s note: “You are gay.”
28.30 Johnny (magazine shop) provokes “punk rock is over!”
30.00 Enid plays Seymour’s record on repeat.
32.00 Seymour shows her the original 78.
ACT TWO
SEQUENCE D: A Challenge for Enid
33.00 Art Class: politically correct art in ‘higher category’.
35.30 Jamie @ Masterpiece Video, 8 1/2, go to surprise party.
36.30 Seymour’s Record Party: loser cracks on to Rebecca.
39.30 Enid in his record room, to Seymour: “You’re cool.”
40.30 I am your personal Dating Service.
42.00 Seymour’s type? Introduce him to Josh; he is shocked.
42.30 Taking S. to Anthony’s Adult: having fun, cat mask.
44.00 Becca’s at work, sick of losers; E.’s job? working on it.
45.30 Dad & Maxine: to bed early – art class for retards.
SEQUENCE E: Enid and Seymour have things in common
46.30 Art class – controversial imagery!
48.00 At diner, invited to band performance, Enid jealous
49.30 In car w/ Seymour; about music, misanthrope
50.30 Bands perform; Enid pushes S. to date; ruins it
53.30 Driving back; can’t relate to 99% of humanity
54.00 At Seymour’s, the story of Coon. Can I borrow?
SEQUENCE F: Things change when Seymour has a date
56.30 Takes Coon to class
58.30 Candy counter, turning customers away
60.00 Fired after one day? Some ideas for money.
61.30 Yard sale. Not selling. Forgot birthday cake.
62.00 Birthday, tells S. about Josh obsession.
63.30 Voice mail from redhead, Enid pushes to call.
64.30 Shopping w/ Becky, who’s sick of Seymour.
66.00 Dana visits Seymour; Enid reads.
67.00 D. & S. dancing; D. wants to see art movie.
68.30 Enid jealous, calls Becky, doesn’t want to see her.
70.00 Seymour; “Dana works out”. Dana arrives.
71.30 Enid almost ruins it, claims she hooked them up.
SEQUENCE G: Lots of offers but no friends.
72.30 Art Class: scholarship offered.
73.30 Dad has job for Enid, she is not interested.
74.30 Art Exhibition: critics hate Coon.
75.30 Seymour doesn’t show because of Dana.
77.30 With Norman on bench. Leaving town.
78.30 Fighting with Becky over flat, they split.
79.30 Dad says Maxine will move in.
SEQUENCE H: Enid wants to move in. With anybody.
80.30 Art Academy: no passing grade, no scholarship.
81.30 To Seymour: move in with you. Don’t you like me?
85.00 Post-coital; Seymour about moving in. Sleeping.
86.00 Seymour wakes up, Enid is gone.
86.30 Seymour goes to break up with Dana.
87.30 Maxine acts like mother; Seymour msg: moving in.
88.30 to Becky: I really want to move in with you.
SEQUENCE I: Losing it all. A confession
89.30 Seymour alone, calls Enid, no answer.
90.00 Boss calls Seymour: Coon art in newspaper.
90.30 Becky’s new place.
91.30 Enid is packing.
93.00 Becky tells Seymour about Enid’s blind date joke.
94.30 Seymour threatens Josh, Doug: citizen’s arrest.
95.30 Enid visits Seymour in hospital: You’re my hero.
ACT THREE
SEQUENCE J: Different paths
97.30 Enid & Becky on bench, reconciling.
99.00 Norman’s bus arrives.
100.0 Seymour with shrink, mother waits outside.
101.0 Enid on bench.
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Feb
7
Inciting Incident: Definitions
Filed Under Premium Content, Story Basics | Leave a Comment
Inciting Incident, Catalyst, Call to Adventure, Disturbance. All terms referring to the first crucial moment: the point where your story kicks off.
Michael Hauge closes the first of his six story stages with it, at the 10% point of the story (10mins in a 100mins movie).
Paul Gulino sees it as the end of the first of a typical eight sequence movie. Christopher Vogler says:
The hero is presented with a problem, challenge, or adventure to undertake. Once presented with a Call to Adventure, she can no longer remain indefinitely in the comfort of the Ordinary World.
This moment better be BIG. If it ain’t, it may go unnoticed and the audience will still be waiting for the story to start.
Michael Tierno, in Aristotle’s Poetics for Screenwriters says:
It’s a self-initated action, a virtual “big bang” that sets the entire plot in motion, that can be committed by either the protagonist or antagonist, and that is an act of pure will.
According to Robert McKee:
The INCITING INCIDENT radically upsets the balance of forces in the protagonist’s life.
And later he says:
The protagonist must react to the Inciting Incident.
I wish authors would develop a common terminology but, alas, they don’t. Here is Linda Aronson’s approach:
Early on in the film there will be an event which changes the normal scheme of things and forces the protagonist in a new direction, effectively starting the story. This is called a catalyst or disturbance.
Linda Seger writes in her book Making a Good Script Great:
The catalyst is the first main “push” that gets the plot moving. Something happens, or someone makes a decision. The main character is set in motion. The story has begun.
Next: Inciting Incident: Key Aspects and Examples >>
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Feb
1
Workshop: The Structure of Success
Filed Under Premium Content | 3 Comments
TBA August 2009 – 9:30am-5:30pm – CSGPN Training Room
Level 1, 158 Liverpool Rd, ASHFIELD NSW 2131
Contact: 0407 955 555 – karel@ozzywood.com
“Structure is everything.”
-William Goldman
WHAT YOU WILL LEARN:
This one day intensive and entertaining workshop teaches the difference between stories and scripts with screen potential and those that are just a fun read. Do you really know what the ‘3-act-structure’ stands for? Why has drama never worked without a solid structure? What could save your screenplay, that the story gurus have overlooked? The workshop is packed with insights and clips from recent and classic movies plus references from the most influential screenwriting books.
Click here to book now and save 20%
BACKGROUND:
The great careers in our industry are not built on volume of work but rather an informed choice of projects. To make it in movies, it is not enough to be able to read and write imaginative scripts. To connect with an audience, you need to know what lies under the surface and learn the skills to shape the story. This applies equally to writers, directors, actors and even producers.
A recent report revealed that Australian filmmakers are NOT disadvantaged in our home market. We CAN take our fair share of the almost one billion dollars spent annually at our box office – provided we care about our audience. The workshop was designed to teach you how audiences experience stories on the screen. This knowledge will empower you to make decisions that will not only help your current project but your entire career.
ESSENTIAL FOR FILMMAKERS:
Without the knowledge and skills taught in this course, filmmakers stand a better chance of winning the lottery than making it big in movies. Story structure is not just another aspect of screenwriting. It is the stuff that makes or breaks movie careers.
Combine courses and save up to 25%
INTENDED AUDIENCE:
Screenwriters – How to turn your idea into a story for the screen? How to go from an early draft to a winning script?
Actors – Which projects are worth fighting for, particularly if you are working for cheap/free? Does your part support the story – or will it be cut?
Producers & Directors – Where lies the heart of your project? How to select unique projects with commercial potential? How to structure your story to entice investors?
THE LOCATION:
The CSGPN Training Room in Ashfield.
By car from the city: take Parramatta Rd and turn left into Ashfield. CSGPN is 800ms further on your left, on the corner next to Blockbusters.
By train from Central: 15mins on the train, then a short 3mins walk. Ample parking available.
Here are more detailed directions.
COURSE FEE:
- $165: handouts, coffee/tea, script software, 3 months Premium Ed.
- $132: concessions % early bird (payment received 2 weeks before event).
- $99: for students (call or email to check eligibility first)
Registrations are strictly limited to 20 participants. Click here to receive registration information via email.
Student? Click here for your 40% discount!
ABOUT THE TUTOR:
Executive Producer and Story Analyst Karel Segers, a Licentiate of Germanic Philology (University of Louvain, Belgium) has produced three short dramas and co-produced a documentary and two feature films. As an EP, Karel has facilitated project funding from both government and private investors. Over the past few years he has consulted to award-winning writers, directors and producers on films in development as well as post-production. His views are published in The Story Dept., the undisputed #1 blog on screenwriting in Australia. Both nominees for the 2007 AWG Monte Miller Award were Karel’s clients.
WHAT OTHERS SAY:
“Karel Segers brilliantly conveys the best of what is currently understood about effective story telling for the cinema. His method of teaching is highly responsive, vividly supported by carefully selected visuals, and, best of all, witty and memorable.”
-Ron Cobb
Concept Artist, Writer, Director
“I attended a course of Karel’s in 2007 and two years later the details of what I learned have stayed with me. I catch myself automatically observing films and reading books using the critical tools I learned from Karel, and most importantly – how a story could be improved.”
-Marcus Amann
Professional Writer
“I enjoyed the day enormously and thought you were just wonderful. My knowledge and understanding of films was expanded enormously, and many things I understood instinctively but had never heard articulated about the art of storytelling were nailed firmly in place.
It was fantastic!”
-Kate Forsyth
Best-selling Author ‘Witches of Eileanan’
“Karel is the new breed of Teachers who not only conveys the technicality so effortlessly, but makes you want to write your story. He is passionate, focused and he knows his stuff. Karel you Rock, dude!”
-Gerard John
Producer / Entrepreneur
“I came to you with a bunch of scenes in the hope of finding a story and when I look back I’m still surprised at how far we have come. Now the script has won the 2007 Monte Miller award. Thanks again Karel.”
-Nathan Fielding
Winner 2007 AWG Monte Miller Award
“He never gets distracted with the little stuff that tends to fix itself when the important parts are working harmoniously. Karel is a rare beast amongst story consultants – a film literate and long-standing aficionado of many film genres. I hold Karel in very high regard.”
-Kieran Galvin
Film Director / Screenwriter
“Karel is my go-to guy for Script Development and/or assessment. He has a unique insight into the process and any projects I bring him are always infinitely improved by the time we have finished. His grasp of story and structure is second to none. I have recommended his services to several colleagues in the past, all of whom have been very satisfied with the results.”
- Michael Favelle
International Sales Agent
Top 10 Person to Watch in 2009
“Karel Segers is Australia’s Robert McKee”
– Stephen J De Jager
Creative Director, Roadshow Entertainment
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Dec
3
Development in One, Two, Three
Filed Under Script Development | Leave a Comment
Story Development is a process. I know that and you know that. But sometimes factors of time and budget allow you to only move forward step by step. In that case I have the following individual services for you, depending on the stage of your development.
1. STAGE ONE ($99)
- story + text analysis of the synopsis.
- written notes + 1 hour tele-conference.
Pay AUD$99
(incl. GST)
At the conceptual stage, this service helps you determine the strengths and weaknesses of your story or story idea.
At a later draft stage, this service helps you to make sure you are selling your story in the best possible way, to producers, potential investors or government agencies.
______________________________________________________
2. STAGE TWO ($389)
– story analysis based on the step outline.
- written notes + up to 3hs consultation.
Pay AUD$389
(incl. GST)
This is the most powerful development stage, as it works on the story level, yet lays the foundations for the scenes to be (re-)written.
The step outline session can be taken after the conceptual stage, to test if you are heading the right direction with the plot, even before writing a single scene.
Once past the first draft, this stage will strip the flesh from your script and test the strength of its skeletal story.
When you take the consultancy for the first time, I will give you guidelines on how to prepare for the session.
Every professional writer will tell you you will have to go through this stage numerous times before confidently moving to the screenplay stage. Inquire about a development plan that includes a number of Stage Two session, so you can benefit from the loyalty discount.
______________________________________________________
3. STAGE THREE ($489)
- full draft script notes, prioritising areas of major concern.
- up to one hour discussion.
Pay AUD$489
(incl. GST)
______________________________________________________
To use a different payment method, visit the payments page.
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Nov
1
Mid-Point: One Flew over the Cuckoo’s Nest
Filed Under Free Content, Script Development, Story Basics | Leave a Comment
The two-disk release of ONE FLEW OVER THE CUCKOO’s nest features a great commentary by director Milos Forman and producers Michael Douglas and Saul Zaentz.
Forman is known for his ability to bring out phenomenal performances and with his trademark Czech accent he expands on his process, from selecting the cast to cutting their dialogue. Zaentz tells how people at the time didn’t recognise Jack Nicholson (yet), but asked Michael Douglas for autographs instead. The anecdotes are at times moving, as Forman tells about William Redfield’s illness during the shoot and his subsequent death of leukemia.
From a story point of view, I found it surprising to hear that Forman wanted to cut the fishing trip out of the movie. Apart from marking the story’s mid-point reversal, this sequence also gives us a taste of how McMurphy’s story could possibly end. But the director had a problem with the duration and as he says:
“I cut it down television style, under two hours. And you know what was funny? It felt much longer.”
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Oct
30
The Three-Act Character
Filed Under Free Content, Script Development, Story Basics | Leave a Comment
In her PLOT CONSTRUCTION WORKSHOP, Linda Aronson discusses THE INSIDER as an example of a flawed script.
The film not only put Russell Crowe on the celeb map with a Best Actor Nomination, it was also nominated for another six awards including Best Picture, Best Director and Best Adapted Screenplay. That’s a pretty good result for a ‘failed script’. As a matter of fact, Linda’s move smells a bit like my not so smart move to call WOLF CREEK a ‘missed opportunity’ inside the offices of the FFC.
But Linda is right when she says the script does not follow a straightforward three act plot.
Here are two main stories with three acts each, hooked into each other.
In a sense it is similar to SCHINDLER’S LIST, in which it is Itzhak Stern’s (Ben Kingsley) objective to get as many Jews into the factory as possible. Once we are well into his journey’s second act and over an hour into the film, Schindler (Liam Neeson) witnesses the clearing of the Krakow ghetto which demarcates his first act’s turning point. Now his objective is to get the workers out of the factory and into safety.
Think about it: the Schindler character doesn’t really have a strong enough dramatic objective to get the story to that point. But Stern does. Hence his function as the ‘first protagonist’.
Similarly, in THE INSIDER it is Wigand’s (Russell Crowe) Second Act objective to get his inside information safely to Bergman (Al Pacino), at which point we’re already into Bergman’s Second Act, which is all about getting the information to the public through his television show. Obviously we are now only talking about what Vogler would call the Hero’s Outer Journey, i.e. the ‘visible desire’. But I believe the Inner Journeys of these characters follow largely the same structure.
To me these two movies illustrate that:
Stories don’t have three acts, but strong characters do.
(originally published 24/04/2006)
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