“Animation is not a genre but an art form” says writer-director Brad Bird on the commentary track. This is one of the most enjoyable superhero action adventures I know.

It is also the #1 movie I will never forgive myself for not seeing in the theaters at the time of release. It’s in my Top 10 of all-time favourites and a strong reference movie in almost all my story classes.

ACT ONE

Prologue: The Glory Days & Wound (11mins)

00.00 TV interview: The Incredibles about their secret identities.
02.00 Mr Incredible called to the rescue, but saves the cat first.
04.30 Meets with Elastigirl on rooftop – “prior engagement”.
05.30 Bob saves man from suicide attempt, he’s not happy.
06.30 Bob stops Bomb Voyage, Incrediboy complicates matters.
09.00 Bob marries Elastigirl: she needs more than Mr. Incredible.
10.00 Superheroes are sued by suicidal: relocation program.

Sequence A: The Ordinary Life (9mins)

11.00 15 years later: Insurance clerk, warned to stop writing cheques.
13.00 After Helen sees headmaster, Dash told to be like everyone else.
15.30 Violet is shy. Always trying to be invisible. Boy looked at her!
16.00 Bob comes home, frustrated. Neighbour’s boy sees him.
16.30 Dinner: they all use their powers, Bob is not in control.
18.30 Robert reads paper: Advocate of superhero rights is missing.
19.00 Frozone calls: Wednesday, it’s bowling night.
19.30 Violet: What does anybody know about normal?

Sequence B: Secrets, Lies & Inciting Incident (14mins)

20.00 Frozone: What if we did what our wives think we’re doing?
20.30 Mirage: “He’s not alone”.
21.00 Fire rescue, escape into into jewellery shop, police catches them.
23.00 Helen: Uprooting our family to be a superhero is not good.
26.00 Boss cross: customers are experts, Bob has enough, loses it.
28.30 Boss in hospital. Relocator offers to help Bob & family.
30.00 Invitation from Mirage: Do great things. 24 hours to respond.
32.30 Lying to Helen: sent to conference. Accepting Mirage’s call.

ACT TWO A

Sequence C: Living the Dream again (12mins)

34.00 Mirage gives Bob instructions, he arrives on the island.
36.00 Bob fights the robot, terminates it. Mission accomplished.
38.30 Invited to dinner with Mirage; everything is delicious.
39.30 Montage sequence: Bob is loving the great new life.
41.00 Bob asks stylist E to repair suit; she will design new supersuit.
44.00 New assignment: Bob keeps lying to Helen.

Sequence D: Things are not what they seem (7mins)

45.00 Flying to island, nice to be back, Mirage. Briefing for 2pm.
47.00 Helen finds patched suit, calls Edna. You come in 1 hour I insist.
48.00 Bob’s meeting: I’m Syndrome, your biggest fan. You work alone.
50.30 Syndrome tries to kill Bob, he jumps in water.
51.00 Bob finds dead super Gazerbeam. “K R O N O S”
51.30 Tracers trying to find Bob: terminated.

ACT TWO B

Sequence E: Approach to Syndrome’s HQ (9mins)

52.00 E shows Helen her work: we are retired! Do you know where he is?
55.00 Removing the guards, going in.
57.30 Bob learns that the Supers are dead.
58.00 Helen finds out Bob left company, he’s  been lying.
59.30 Locator betrays Bob. Bob caught in Blobs.
60.00 E to Helen: go, fight, win!

Sequence F: Bob in the Cave / Family to the rescue (9mins)

61.00 Helen gets ready, Dash sees outfits. Calling Snug.
62.30 Helen & kids flies gov. jet, missile attack on approach.
63.30 Bob chained – Syndrome shows up.
67.30 Helen saves the kids. Get a grip!
68.30 Bob threatens to kill Mirage, doesn’t do it. S: You’re weak!
70.00 Helen to kids: use your powers. I’ll be back by morning.

Sequence G: FINDING BOB (9mins)

72.30 Mirage: Next time you gamble, bet your own life.
73.30 Helen goes into HQ, using her Elastigirl powers.
76.00 Dash: I’m gonna look around.
77.30 Rocket launch: Dash & Vi run.
78.30 Dash & Vi discovered. They have to run.
79.30 Mirage tells Bob his family is alive. Helen finds the two.

Sequence H: REUNION IN THE CAVE (7mins)

82.00 Dash runs & fights & runs.
83.30 Bob & Helen // Violet disappears, Dash to the rescue.
85.00 Family reunion.
85.30 S appears. Captures them, shows what the robots do. “I’m real”
87.30 Bob apologises, Violet releases them, escaping.

ACT THREE

Sequence I: Threshold Sequence (5mins)

88.00 To the rocket, Mirage helps
89.00 Frozone getting ready
90.00 Syndrome “saves baby” but can’t stop robot.
91.00 Incredibles arrive with bus.

Sequence J: INCREDIBLES vs. SYNDROME (8mins)

93.00 Robot attacks them.
94.00 Frozone helps. Bob has the remote control.
97.00 Taking out the robot.
97.30 Syndrome still around
98.00 New hope for the supers.
99.00 Kari (babysit) calls: thanks for replacement – S
99.30 Jack-Jack’s special powers. Bob throws Helen.
100.30 S in turbine / Violet protects them.

Sequence J: THE INCREDIBLE(S) TEAM (3mins)
101.30 3 months later: Tony & Violet / Dash comes close second
102.30 The Underminer: they all get ready to work together.

THE HERO’S JOURNEY

In a prologue full of beautifully dramatised exposition, we meet Bob, Helen, Frozone and Incrediboy. We learn about the role of the Supers and their fall – or Bob’s ‘wound’.

ACT ONE

The Ordinary World for Bob doesn’t start until after the prologue, “15 Years Later”. It is literally an ‘ordinary’ world and he has a strong longing to swap this life for something more exciting. This stage extends for two sequences, in which we see Bob’s boring day job as well as his exciting secret night escapades.

But he is a flawed hero. He lies to his wife and hates his job. He is blamed of not doing his fatherly duties. This Hero is ready for change.

The Call to Adventure comes with the message from Mirage, the Herald and Shapeshifter who seduces Bob into a adventure that promises exactly what Bob has been lacking in his life.

After hardly any Refusal, Bob crosses the Threshold and accepts Mirages offer. Again he lies to Helen, saying he’s off to a conference.

ACT TWO

The typical pitfalls of a second act are overcome by using a solid sequential structure and by interweaving Bob’s journey with that of his family. In the middle of the act sits a powerful Mid Point Reversal, which accelerates the Hero’s Inner Journey and gives his Outer Journey a new direction.

The first half of Act Two consists of a number of Tests for Bob, leading to his first assignment, which Bob completes effortlessly. So in a way this assignment can be seen as just another ‘test’ in the journey. Bob is loving his new life. But he’s still living the lie, so a reversal is looming. Going back to the island, he is to meet with with his employer but instead he is attacked by a robot and for the first time, he finds himself face to face with Syndrome, his Shadow.  It turns out he has created this shadow by rejecting (his need for a) Buddy. In order to resurrect as the transformed Hero, Bob will not only need to defeat Syndrome, but take on the very character quality Buddy/Syndrome represented: team spirit.

Although The Incredibles never FEELS formulaic, it ticks all the boxes of the Journey, including the almost cliche’d beat of the Mid Point: the Leap of Faith. To escape his enemy, Bob dives off the cliff (Butch & Sundance style) into the water below. Seconds later, the reversal is complete when he learns the full truth about Syndrome and the fate of the Supers by discovering the meaning of “KRONOS”.

The next sequence is a typical Approach to the Inmost Cave, i.e. trying to get into Syndrome’s HQ. There, Mr Incredible will face his lowest point when he is chained in the cave, first alone, then together with his family.

The traditionally melodramatic Ordeal scene is peppered with mild sarcasm,  when Dash cuts into Bob’s redemption speech and Helen says: “Shhht! Don’t interrupt…”

Brad Bird shows again how you can use a template like the Hero’s Journey and use it in an original way: the Reward is shown BEFORE the Ordeal, as we see on a big screen what Syndrome is up to. So the Incredibles know where to go and what to do once they’re out of their predicament. It makes the transition more fluid than in many movies, where the Reward magically – and quite randomly – appears immediately after the redemption.

ACT THREE

The Road Back ‘Threshold Sequence’ is a fully fledged chase sequence back to the Ordinary World, including running, flying and driving.Technically you can argue that this sequence belongs nor in Act Two (Special World) nor Act Three (Ordinary World) but I place it in Act Three because it happens after the Hero is ready to confront the Shadow. The race to the mainland is in effect the first action after the 2nd Act Turning Poing (PP2 or Ordeal/Reward).

Back on the main land, the family engages with Syndrome. The subplot of Jack-Jack and the babysit leads into the final showdown and Syndrome’s demise pays off the setup about the caped Super-costumes. Delightful.

In a brief Elixir-sequence, Dash finally  gets his chance to shine and Violet shows her regained self-esteem. In the final scene of the movie we see how the Incredibles will continue their lives.

As much as I loved it for its characters and situations, my first screenplay turned out to be 132 pages long, twelve pages over the 120 page limit for screenplays.  I knew that I had to cut it down to size and began the editing process.  I came to the conclusion that I was trying to throw too much into one screenplay.  As an excited amateur, I tried to stuff all these ideas I had into 120 pages, and it wasn’t going to work. I also found that many elements of the story weren’t working together.  I was trying to force a lot of situations that just didn’t seem all that natural.

DO I NEED FRANK?

One thing I noticed in particular was my struggle to close a character’s storyline.  His name was Frank, and he was supposed to be ultimately revealed as a figment of the protagonist’s imagination, a fractured creation of his mind due to the trauma of the experiences we see him go through.
I found it wiser to question whether or not I needed Frank. He was something that I fumbled with, something that just would not fit.  It was in my issues with Frank that I realized something important.  Frank may have been memorable, but he was extraneous to the overall plot.  He was a shortcut to explain certain things about the protagonist.  I had taken the cheap way out.  And because of that, ultimately Frank was cut out of the screenplay, and the story reworked.  The lesson that I learned here: All characters must exist for a reason, and a good one.

So, to elaborate on the topic of those who inhabit the world you are creating for an audience: my expertise is in the creation of unique and interesting characters.  These characters are fueled by my real life observations of all the people around me.  By simply opening up my eyes and ears, I overhear little tidbits of conversations of real people who are leading real lives, all with very authentic and genuine emotions.  I like to think that each individual is just that: an individual.  I find out what makes them unique, what drives them to do the things that they do.
In learning these things about a person, you can create a character in the same way.  Use your imagination.  Why does your protagonist do the things he does, why are those emotions in his heart?  Keep asking yourself why.  In the same way that you get to know a person, become very intimate with your character.

THE ROUNDABOUT WAY

Great characters are not all a good screenplay needs.  As great as I was at introducing quirks and writing a unique voice for each of my characters, my screenplays often lacked a strong structure.

I’m a very verbose and structureless person.  And it’s reflected in my writing and my screenplays.  Considering that it’s in my nature to tell stories in a way that are rather indirect and in a roundabout way, changing my writing style was one of my greatest challenges.  If you asked me how to get to the Trump International Hotel in Manhattan, I’d probably tell you that you could go take the D train to 59th St-Columbus Circle stop.  I know this because I used to work the area as an outside salesman.  You get up from the station, and look north.  Across the street and down a block is a store that I made my first sale for that company.  And boy, let me tell you, it was quite a thrill.  From that day on, I decided that I would become the best salesman ever and learn to close 90% of the time.  That’s how I ended up coming across this book entitled Influence, which I bought on Amazon.  Did you know that Amazon has some of the best prices?  You can even get free shipping and…..

And somewhere along the way, I’d forget to tell you precisely how to get there.  Though you’d end up with a great story about my experience as a salesman, you’d also probably be thinking, “Okay…well, that’s great, but how do I get to the hotel?”

The same goes for your screenplay: each moment in your screenplay must be moving towards something.  Your screenplay may have great character depth, but if those characters have no clear direction, your audience will become uninterested and bored as they watch you wander around with the hero in a disjointed fashion.  As such, you have to create a compelling and dramatic story.  Remember to ask yourself, where am I going with this scene?  Does it enhance the drama?  What does it show the audience?

A screenplay is not just pages and pages of dialogue taking place in various locations.  Nor is it simply a pair of talking heads.  It is the blueprint for a film, the culmination of dramatic story telling and compelling characters.  It is an emotional experience.  It is cinema.

INT. LUANNE’S APARTMENT – DAY

Later that day I meet up with Luanne and tell her about my dream.  I am a little hesitant to tell her about the extended hug.  But I tell her everything and lay it out for her, shot by shot.  As I finish recounting my dream to her, she replies with a sophomoric, “Ewww…”  I was right: she’s not very sensitive.  I make a mental note: if I ever need an insensitive and unfeminine figure in my screenplay, I’ll look to Luanne.

-Terry Ip
Self-styled perennial student of film working towards a career with a pension.

Take a bus from Circular Quay, Wynyard or Town Hall towards Rozelle (500, 501, 502, 504, 505, 506, 507, 508, 510, 518, L03, L20, L39, X15) to the corner of Victoria Road and Darling Street. Walk up to Darling Street and turn left. Walk about 500 metres south along Darling Street until you get to the Cecily Street entrance of Rozelle Hospital.

BY LIGHT RAIL:
Catch the light rail to the last stop at Lilyfield, walk up the steps and turn right in Catherine Street and cross Lilyfield Road. To your right find Grove Street and walk up the hill to Balmain Road, turn right and walk a couple of hundred metres until you reach the lights at Cecily Street at the entrance to Rozelle Hospital. Cross Balmain Road into the Hospital entrance and follow the signs to the Centre.

As much as I loved it for its characters and situations, my first screenplay turned out to be 132 pages long, twelve pages over the 120 page limit for screenplays. I knew that I had to cut it down to size and began the editing process. I came to the conclusion that I was trying to throw too much into one screenplay. As an excited amateur, I tried to stuff all these ideas I had into 120 pages, and it wasn’t going to work. I also found that many elements of the story weren’t working together. I was trying to force a lot of situations that just didn’t seem all that natural.

DO I NEED FRANK?

One thing I noticed in particular was my struggle to close a character’s storyline. His name was Frank, and he was supposed to be ultimately revealed as a figment of the protagonist’s imagination, a fractured creation of his mind due to the trauma of the experiences we see him go through.

I found it wiser to question whether or not I needed Frank. He was something that I fumbled with, something that just would not fit. It was in my issues with Frank that I realized something important. Frank may have been memorable, but he was extraneous to the overall plot. He was a shortcut to explain certain things about the protagonist. I had taken the cheap way out. And because of that, ultimately Frank was cut out of the screenplay, and the story reworked. The lesson that I learned here: All characters must exist for a reason, and a good one.

So, to elaborate on the topic of those who inhabit the world you are creating for an audience: my expertise is in the creation of unique and interesting characters. These characters are fueled by my real life observations of all the people around me. By simply opening up my eyes and ears, I overhear little tidbits of conversations of real people who are leading real lives, all with very authentic and genuine emotions. I like to think that each individual is just that: an individual. I find out what makes them unique, what drives them to do the things that they do.

In learning these things about a person, you can create a character in the same way. Use your imagination. Why does your protagonist do the things he does, why are those emotions in his heart? Keep asking yourself why. In the same way that you get to know a person, become very intimate with your character.

THE ROUNDABOUT WAY

Great characters are not all a good screenplay needs. As great as I was at introducing quirks and writing a unique voice for each of my characters, my screenplays often lacked a strong structure.

I’m a very verbose and structureless person. And it’s reflected in my writing and my screenplays. Considering that it’s in my nature to tell stories in a way that are rather indirect and in a roundabout way, changing my writing style was one of my greatest challenges. If you asked me how to get to the Trump International Hotel in Manhattan, I’d probably tell you that you could go take the D train to 59th St-Columbus Circle stop. I know this because I used to work the area as an outside salesman. You get up from the station, and look north. Across the street and down a block is a store that I made my first sale for that company. And boy, let me tell you, it was quite a thrill. From that day on, I decided that I would become the best salesman ever and learn to close 90% of the time. That’s how I ended up coming across this book entitled Influence, which I bought on Amazon. Did you know that Amazon has some of the best prices? You can even get free shipping and…..

And somewhere along the way, I’d forget to tell you precisely how to get there. Though you’d end up with a great story about my experience as a salesman, you’d also probably be thinking, “Okay…well, that’s great, but how do I get to the hotel?”

The same goes for your screenplay: each moment in your screenplay must be moving towards something. Your screenplay may have great character depth, but if those characters have no clear direction, your audience will become uninterested and bored as they watch you wander around with the hero in a disjointed fashion. As such, you have to create a compelling and dramatic story. Remember to ask yourself, where am I going with this scene? Does it enhance the drama? What does it show the audience?

A screenplay is not just pages and pages of dialogue taking place in various locations. Nor is it simply a pair of talking heads. It is the blueprint for a film, the culmination of dramatic story telling and compelling characters. It is an emotional experience. It is cinema.

INT. LUANNE’S APARTMENT – DAY

Later that day I meet up with Luanne and tell her about my dream. I am a little hesitant to tell her about the extended hug. But I tell her everything and lay it out for her, shot by shot. As I finish recounting my dream to her, she replies with a sophomoric, “Ewww…” I was right: she’s not very sensitive. I make a mental note: if I ever need an insensitive and unfeminine figure in my screenplay, I’ll look to Luanne.

- Terry Ip

Self-styled student of film working towards a career with a pension.

In a series about screenwriting software, some of the main screenwriting software titles out there will contribute an article to The Story Department.

We open the series with Mark Kennedy, CEO of Celtx.

“Just a few days ago, we released version 2.0 of the Celtx software.

A lot of people don’t quite get what Celtx is about. I guess people see things from their own perspective. If they are screenwriters, they see a screenwriting application, if they are filmmakers, they see a pre-production package, if they are storyboard artists, they see a media application, if they are comic book creators, they see a new tool to help them make the same. And so it goes, each person seeing in Celtx what is useful to them in their own pursuit of creativity.

Don’t get me wrong. That’s all fine by us. In fact, that’s what we hoped would happen. That people would derive their own benefit based on their own needs. We always figured that there were, are, as many different ways to create media as there are users, so we tried to make the Celtx software as flexible as possible.

Thing is, no matter how they work, whether following traditional bottom up approaches to developing their story, or employing non-linear methods, most every media creator uses a lot of the same tools as the next person. It comes down to Story – characters, a situation, and locations.

You see a lot of references these days about the trend towards “convergence”, the merging of many different media formats – film, game, audio – the re-purposing of one media format for adaptation to another format. This in our view, is only describing what has always been the case. Artists have never been afraid to try new forms; to apply, and expand their skills beyond the confines of a single type of media.

Very few, if any, of the existing media software offerings seemed to recognize that fact, choosing instead to pigeon hole users in to one type of media, and through the use of proprietary file formats, and rigid work flows, preventing those same users from expanding beyond their initial canvass.

This, ultimately, is the opportunity we saw – to provide media artists with a tool that would be as expandable as they wanted it to be. One that let them easily re-purpose their media to other formats, and re-purpose their data to other applications.

What was needed was a universally accepted tool. A platform. Whatever you want to call it. But a way for any and all media creators to use one system that supported all of their requirements and let them collaborate without worrying about data formats, and incompatible technologies. Making media is hard enough without being frustrated by files that won’t open or technologies that limit creativity.

This is why Celtx is open source and uses only open standards. It ensures maximum flexibility and a common platform that all media makers can use.

Being an open source software application, Celtx is open to anyone to integrate their own technology in to the system. Just recently, another company developing a script writing offering had indicated that they are developing a tool that ties in to the Celtx software.

That’s the whole idea. To make Celtx the default system for developing media regardless of the specific application you are using to create different aspects of their project. Once saved in a Celtx Project, the media is unassailable, re-purposeable, convertible, and sharable by all.

This usually begs the question of how do we make money from all of this? What motivation do we have to make Celtx a success (other then for altruistic reasons)?

The growing use of web services is an undeniable, and unstoppable trend in the technology business. Every company developing technology sees the writing on the wall. The future is in selling web services that augment the desktop environment.

When the cell phone industry first got going in Europe, everyone agreed (with the help of some gentle persuasion from the regulators) to a common standard. The risk was that without a common standard everyone would go off madly in all directions, balkanizing the cell phone environment in to a myriad of networks, none of which would talk to each other. The result would have been very bad for users.

Instead, an open standard was promulgated, and everyone rushed to innovate off that open standard, introducing new hand sets and new technologies to gain market share. Nokia became one of the best in the industry at being the first to market with new innovations, gaining more and more users. The rest, as they say, is history.

This is what we hope for Celtx – that it continues to establish itself as the open system for creating and sharing media. We may have invented it, but we don’t own it, any more then Nokia owns the 3G cell phone network that they have so successfully leveraged.

The new Celtx Studios is our first commercial offering based on the open standards Celtx software. It is designed to provide media creators with web based access to their media projects, including optimized archiving for sub-versions, collaboration features and the ability to create protected web Previews.

The same offering, or one similar to it, could be developed by anyone using the open source code of Celtx to achieve their goal, just like the Nokia competitor, Ericsson, has also developed new cell phone technologies that work on the same system as Nokia’s.

One open system, many offerings based on that system, all benefiting users. That’s the promise. That’s the future.”

-Mark Kennedy
CEO Celtx

TBA August 09 – 9:30am-5:30pm – CSGPN Training Room
Level 1, 158 Liverpool Rd, ASHFIELD NSW 2131
Contact: 0407 955 555 - karel@ozzywood.com

WHAT YOU WILL LEARN:
A brilliant read gets you a long way in our industry. This seminar shares the secrets to perfect your screenplay and astound the reader. A whole day full of invaluable basics as well as a bunch of tips, tricks and checklists. Your screenplay may not be perfect, but you can surely make it look the part.
How to avoid the ‘army of ants’? What is ‘vertical writing’? Should you ‘cheat’? What is good dialogue? How much white on the page? Learn to be your own first script editor, proof reader and general devil’s advocate.

Click here to book now and save 20%

BACKGROUND:
Once you have that razor sharp concept and rock solid story, you’ll need to magically work it into a brilliant read for the producer, the executive or the reader who will decide on your future. The key is to keep them turning those pages. Here, not only story structure comes into play but also the elegance of your style and formatting.

ESSENTIAL FOR FILMMAKERS:
Without the knowledge taught in this course, screenwriters, directors and producers stand a better chance of winning the lottery than making it big in movies. Story structure is not just another aspect of screenwriting. It is the stuff that makes or breaks careers.

Combine and save up to 25%

INTENDED AUDIENCE:
Beginning Screenwriters – Make sure your submission for development funds looks impressive.
Intermediate Screenwriters – Brush up on your scene writing skills and scrutinise your style.
Advanced Screenwriters – Speed up and improve your process using the latest software tools.

THE LOCATION:
The CSGPN Training Room in Ashfield.
By car from the city: take Parramatta Rd and turn left into Ashfield. CSGPN is 800ms further on your left, on the corner next to Blockbusters.
By train from Central: 15mins on the train, then a short 3mins walk. Ample parking available.
Here are more detailed directions.

COURSE FEE:
- $165: handouts, coffee/tea, script software, 3 months Premium Ed.
- $132: concessions % early bird (payment received 2 weeks before event).
- $99: for students (call or email to check eligibility first)

Registrations are strictly limited to 20 participants. Click here to receive registration information via email.

Student? Click here for your 40% discount!

ABOUT THE TUTOR:
Executive Producer and Story Analyst Karel Segers, a Licentiate of Germanic Philology (University of Louvain, Belgium) has produced three short dramas and co-produced a documentary and two feature films. As an EP, Karel has facilitated project funding from both government and private investors. Over the past few years he has consulted to award-winning writers, directors and producers on films in development as well as post-production. His views are published in The Story Dept., the undisputed #1 blog on screenwriting in Australia. Both nominees for the 2007 AWG Monte Miller Award were Karel’s clients.

WHAT OTHERS SAY:
“Karel Segers brilliantly conveys the best of what is currently understood about effective story telling for the cinema. His method of teaching is highly responsive, vividly supported by carefully selected visuals, and, best of all, witty and memorable.”
-Ron Cobb
Concept Artist, Writer, Director

“I attended a course of Karel’s in 2007 and two years later the details of what I learned have stayed with me. I catch myself automatically observing films and reading books using the critical tools I learned from Karel, and most importantly – how a story could be improved.”
-Marcus Amann
Professional Writer

“I enjoyed the day enormously and thought you were just wonderful. My knowledge and understanding of films was expanded enormously, and many things I understood instinctively but had never heard articulated about the art of storytelling were nailed firmly in place.
It was fantastic!”
-Kate Forsyth
Best-selling Author ‘Witches of Eileanan’

“Karel is the new breed of Teachers who not only conveys the technicality so effortlessly, but makes you want to write your story. He is passionate, focused and he knows his stuff. Karel you Rock, dude!”
-Gerard John
Producer / Entrepreneur

“I came to you with a bunch of scenes in the hope of finding a story and when I look back I’m still surprised at how far we have come. Now the script has won the 2007 Monte Miller award. Thanks again Karel.”
-Nathan Fielding
Winner 2007 AWG Monte Miller Award

“He never gets distracted with the little stuff that tends to fix itself when the important parts are working harmoniously. Karel is a rare beast amongst story consultants – a film literate and long-standing aficionado of many film genres. I hold Karel in very high regard.”
-Kieran Galvin
Film Director / Screenwriter

“Karel is my go-to guy for Script Development and/or assessment. He has a unique insight into the process and any projects I bring him are always infinitely improved by the time we have finished. His grasp of story and structure is second to none. I have recommended his services to several colleagues in the past, all of whom have been very satisfied with the results.”
- Michael Favelle
International Sales Agent
Top 10 Person to Watch in 2009

“Karel Segers is Australia’s Robert McKee”
– Stephen J De Jager
Creative Director, Roadshow Entertainment

Since writing the below post, I have come to realise that the mid point may well be the last checkpoint to make sure you have the most powerful story you can get.

I believe the mid point can only exist if everything else works. Without knowing exactly what the outer objective is (Turning Point 1) and how the character changes (Turning Point 2) it is impossible to create the right mid point. The mid point changes the direction of the visible goal (Outer Journey), sometimes it completely changes the goal altogether. It also accelerates the Inner Journey as the protagonist is now committed to resolving the Need.

I have added some notes on THE INCREDIBLES and THE LIVES OF OTHERS to the examples below.

Many unsuccessful movies run out of steam halfway. Even a fair few memorable pics are weak in the middle, or have a ‘soft belly’. The Second Act seems to be the hardest nut to crack. But why? Perhaps because the protagonist is chasing the same objective all along? After all we have a massive chunk of script to fill, about an hour of screentime on average. One remedy is to chop the movie up in quarters. First and last act are roughly one quarter each already, so Act Two we just cut in two.

It’s variously called the mid-act climax, the mid-point, first culmination or the mid-point reversal. I prefer the latter, although it is not always a strict 180 degree turn. It doesn’t necessarily have to be a climax either but it must be a ‘major turning point’. Things will be dramatically different from this point onwards.

Syd Field describes it something like this: “An important scene in the middle of the script, often a reversal of fortune or revelation that changes the direction of the story.” Field suggests that driving the story towards the Midpoint keeps the second act from sagging. For once I find Field more helpful than others. An executive at the talent agency ICM is trying to get his head around it:

“An event occurs wherein the character cannot give up his pursuit. It is a “no turning back point.” The bridge has been burned behind him (figuratively speaking), and he can only move forward. Often, this is manifested as a TICKING CLOCK. In classically structure (sic) romantic comedies, this is the point where the man and woman sleep together.” Hmmm… Not sure about that last one.

Here’s my favourite definition, from Frank Daniel:

“Mid-Point or First Culmination: a Major Reversal of fortune, making Main Character’s task even more difficult. Often, give the audience a very clear glimpse of an answer to the Central Dramatic Question “‘ the hope that Main Character will actually succeed at resolving his problem “‘ only to see circumstances turn the story the other way. First Culmination may be a glimpse at the actual resolution of the picture, or its mirror opposite.”

Let’s look at a few examples to understand the mid point better:

THE UNTOUCHABLES – Not only a well-structured, commercial movie with a top notch cast; it has a midpoint that ticks all three boxes: After a shootout on the Canadian border far away from the crime-ridden streets of Chicago, Eliot Ness and his team find out they can get to Capone through his accountant.

The mid-point sequence happens halfway the movie (ironically, not all midpoints really do), it changes the course of the story (Ness is no longer after Capone but after his accountant) and it takes place in a very different environment/change of scenery from the rest of the movie. And indeed: catching the accountant does get Capone in court. Important for the Inner Journey at this point is Ness’ response to the criticism on the way Malone forces a confession out of one of Capone’s men. When he says “Well, you’re not from Chicago”, it proves Ness is now open to approaching things ‘the Chicago Way’, as taught by his mentor Malone.

JAWS – It’s more than thirty years old and scary as ever, and not because of its state-of-the-art FX. Look closely and you’ll see: that plastic shark is a big joke! This is one piece of brilliant writing. Police Chief Brody (Roy Scheider) has been unsuccessful in trying to stop the shark killings by urging the mayor to close the beaches. When his own son narrowly escapes death, he is forced to change tactics (different direction): he must go and attack the shark in its own habitat. It brings a fresh turn to the movie with a change of scenery and the stakes are heightened because we are now fighting the killer on his own territory. What’s more: the protagonist is under greater jeopardy because he can’t swim. At Brody’s Inner Journey mid point, he is committed to tackle things at the core in stead of dealing with the symptoms. See also my notes at the bottom of the structural overview of Jaws.

ONE FLEW OVER THE CUCKOO’S NEST – In his book THE SEQUENCE APPROACH, Paul Gulino mentions another function of the midpoint: it gives the protagonist a flavour of the possible outcome of the story (Frank Daniel’s “glimpse of an answer to the Central Dramatic Question“). Here, Nicholson’s character tastes freedom when he takes the patients out on a trip. The reality however is that after this point he learns he may never leave the asylum again. A powerful reversal: rather than proving he’s insane, he now has to try and get out. The scene/sequence of the mad men’s outing is another beautiful example of a change of scenery. At one stage during the edit, director Milos Forman cut the sequence out. About the result he says: “I cut it down television style, under two hours. And you know what was funny? It felt much longer.”

I wouldn’t necessarily call the following movies class examples but I’ll give them any way because their mid-points worked really well for me:

THE PARALLAX VIEW – Bang in the middle of this classic conspiracy thriller, Warren Beatty’s character undergoes a five minute brainwashing. The scene is borderline unbearable and would have probably been cut by today’s studio heads. We undergo the character’s psychological torture first hand while we stare at the seemingly random images, exactly like the protagonist experiences them. After this, Beatty’s character is no longer the curious outsider vs. the mysterious corporation; he is fighting the system from within, which will ultimately lead to his demise.

GIU LA TESTA (A FISTFUL OF DYNAMITE) – Very much like in THE PARALLAX VIEW, we share the point of view of Rod Steiger’s character Juan while he watches what will cause a major change in his personality and in the course of the movie. At the very midpoint in the movie Juan witnesses a lengthy, traumatic shootout with a life-changing effect: from a mindless and merciless robber dreaming of the ultimate big heist he has now become a freedom fighter and finally commits to the cause of his alter-ego Sean (incarnated wonderfully by James Coburn).

THE QUEEN – The Queen is stuck in the lonely hills near Balmoral, her Land Rover having let her down. Without help from anybody she is out of her comfort zone when she notices the dear her grandsons have been stalking, upon her own advice and encouragement. A moment of realisation (with a lot of symbolism) leads to the decision to chase the dear away in an attempt to save its life from the hunters. The parallel with Princess Diana’s end becomes even more apparent when it turns out the deer was shot by a group of hunters after a chase on a neighbouring land (France?). The Queen has witnessed something that has changed her view and we see it externalised in her lukewarm response to the Queen Mother’s statements about the British people in a following scene.

NORTH BY NORTHWEST – The single most memorably scene of this film sits right in the very middle: the famous cropduster scene. Again, an entirely new setting in the movie, with hardly any other characters around. While most of the movie is rather talky, this sequence offers pure visual cinema with minimal sound design, then gradually picking up the pace and finally (literally) exploding in a symphony of action and music. The reversal: Roger Thornhill learns that Eve has betrayed him.

THE INCREDIBLES – Mister Incredible has successfully completed the task he travelled to the Special World for: eliminating the evil robot. Now, for the first time he is about to meet with his employer.

The reversal happens when his mission turns out to have been a setup to get him killed. The employer is effectively his arch-enemy Syndrome and the mid point delivers two major reversals: 1) in stead of staying on the island, he will have to escape 2) in stead of working alone, he’ll have to collaborate with his family.

THE LIVES OF OTHERS – In the first half of this 2007 Oscar winning drama, Captain Wiesler tries to expose the suspected playwright Dreyer to satisfy his superior at the Stasi (the former Eastern German State Security Service). While listening to a phone call, he learns that Dreyers best friend and mentor has committed suicide. Wiesler realises his work is not doing the good he had always believed it would. He is effectively killing people. When Dreyer plays the piano music he received as a gift from his mentor, Wiesler is so moved that he decides to not expose but protect Dreyer from this point on. To my taste, this is one of the most wonderful and moving mid points in cinema in recent years.

In my earlier blog “STRUCTURING THE FACTS” I briefly mention the midpoint reversal in UNITED 97: The passengers learn this is a suicide flight, therefore they have to change their tactics from trying to notify their relatives on the ground to actively fight back the terrorists.

“One may perhaps make a good film out of a bad novel,
but never out of a good one.” -Bela Balazs

WHAT YOU WILL LEARN:
No matter how powerful the source material, if it doesn’t have the seed of a screen drama, your adaptation job will be like hell. This workshop shows why some adaptations worked fine and others flopped. How to find the story in your own material, then structure it into a screenplay that works.

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BACKGROUND:
To write great poetry, novels and plays, your mastery of language needs to transcend the functional to the realm of magical. As a screenwriter, the magic is in the material and its structure, not in the text per se. The art of screen adaptation isn’t much of an art at all. It is a learnable skill. To master this skill, you will need to understand a few fundamental differences between the various literary source forms and cinema.

ESSENTIAL FOR FIRST-TIME SCREENWRITERS:
Many great screenplays originate from first-time screenwriters. They tell an original, idiosyncratic story, which has matured for years, with touches of deep realism, flesh-and-blood characters and sparkling, acutely lively situations. The ‘original story’ of the first-time screenwriter is often a direct adaptation of observations from the real world. Writing successfully means: adapting successfully.

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INTENDED AUDIENCE:
Screenwriters – How the craft of adaptation can start your career in movies.
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THE LOCATION:
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By car from the city: take Parramatta Rd and turn left into Ashfield. CSGPN is 800ms further on your left, on the corner next to Blockbusters.
By train from Central: 15mins on the train, then a short 3mins walk. Ample parking available.
Here are more detailed directions.

COURSE FEE:
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ABOUT THE TUTOR:
Executive Producer and Story Analyst Karel Segers, a Licentiate of Germanic Philology (University of Louvain, Belgium) has produced three short dramas and co-produced a documentary and two feature films. As an EP, Karel has facilitated project funding from both government and private investors. Over the past few years he has consulted to award-winning writers, directors and producers on films in development as well as post-production. His views are published in The Story Dept., the undisputed #1 blog on screenwriting in Australia. Both nominees for the 2007 AWG Monte Miller Award were Karel’s clients.

WHAT OTHERS SAY:
“Karel Segers brilliantly conveys the best of what is currently understood about effective story telling for the cinema. His method of teaching is highly responsive, vividly supported by carefully selected visuals, and, best of all, witty and memorable.”
-Ron Cobb
Concept Artist, Writer, Director

“I attended a course of Karel’s in 2007 and two years later the details of what I learned have stayed with me. I catch myself automatically observing films and reading books using the critical tools I learned from Karel, and most importantly – how a story could be improved.”
-Marcus Amann
Professional Writer

“I enjoyed the day enormously and thought you were just wonderful. My knowledge and understanding of films was expanded enormously, and many things I understood instinctively but had never heard articulated about the art of storytelling were nailed firmly in place.
It was fantastic!”
-Kate Forsyth
Best-selling Author ‘Witches of Eileanan’

“Karel is the new breed of Teachers who not only conveys the technicality so effortlessly, but makes you want to write your story. He is passionate, focused and he knows his stuff. Karel you Rock, dude!”
-Gerard John
Producer / Entrepreneur

“I came to you with a bunch of scenes in the hope of finding a story and when I look back I’m still surprised at how far we have come. Now the script has won the 2007 Monte Miller award. Thanks again Karel.”
-Nathan Fielding
Winner 2007 AWG Monte Miller Award

“He never gets distracted with the little stuff that tends to fix itself when the important parts are working harmoniously. Karel is a rare beast amongst story consultants – a film literate and long-standing aficionado of many film genres. I hold Karel in very high regard.”
-Kieran Galvin
Film Director / Screenwriter

“Karel is my go-to guy for Script Development and/or assessment. He has a unique insight into the process and any projects I bring him are always infinitely improved by the time we have finished. His grasp of story and structure is second to none. I have recommended his services to several colleagues in the past, all of whom have been very satisfied with the results.”
- Michael Favelle
International Sales Agent
Top 10 Person to Watch in 2009

“Karel Segers is Australia’s Robert McKee”
– Stephen J De Jager
Creative Director, Roadshow Entertainment

I am speaking with Michael about his career, his teaching and his first visit to Australia in May of this year. With apologies for the poor audio quality of the telephone recording.

[display_podcast]

Karel: Terry Rossio, co writer of ALADDIN, PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN and SHREK, says you are “the only screenwriting instructor who might be truly wasting his time because he should be writing screenplays instead.” That’s my first question: Have you ever felt like you were wasting your time?

Michael: It’s very generous of Terry to say that. We first met when I did a special event as part of the American Screenwriters Association conference where I interviewed Ted Elliott and him. It was just when SHREK was in theatres. I gave a one hour lecture about SHREK and then they came on stage and we did a Q&A. They said later they appreciated that everything I had talked about was exactly what they intended when they wrote the script.At the time they were in the midst of writing Shrek 2 and weren’t real happy with the direction things were going, and people not appreciating their approach to it, which the studio ended up using anyway.

I really don’t think I’m wasting my time as a consultant. My strength, and my passion, is for working with writers and filmmakers, empowering them to get their stories on the page and on the screen, either by working with them one-on-one, or through my lectures, books, DVDs, articles, etc.

Karel: Have you ever written a screenplay?

Michael: Some time ago I made a stab at writing a screenplay, and it was OK, but it really wasn’t where my passion was. I just have so much fun doing what I’m doing.

————

Karel: How would you position yourself among the known screenwriting teachers?

Michael: Good question… How would I position myself? Well, first of all I’m somebody that has been around now a long time. There are a few of us who are sort of regarded as the front guard, or the old guard.

There’s me, there’s Bob McKee, there’s Syd Field, Linda Seger, Chris Vogler, John Truby, Kathie Fong Yoneda, a couple more that I’ve probably forgotten. So I think that gives us all a certain cachet. We all have books; we all have reputations and so on.

As far as lecturing goes, we all seem to have different things that we kind of enjoy doing. Linda goes to a lot of festivals and does a lot of work outside the US. I don’t do so much outside the US and I don’t do so much lecturing as her or Chris or Bob McKee. The trip to Australia, is the first time I will have come to Australia to give a seminar or to do a workshop, so that is a bit different.

I think of that whole group I mentioned, I’m the one that does the most coaching. Linda writes a lot of books. Chris, is working for Paramount, and he travels to Europe a lot to lecture and collaborate on projects. But I think I’m the guy who is primarily a script consultant

————

Karel: In your view, are there any contradictions between the various story theories?

Michael: In my experience, all those people that I mentioned, Bob and Syd and Linda and Chris and John, we all have our own approach to story, character and structure. And I have yet to find anything significant about which we disagree. It is just a different way of getting at the founding principles of story developed by Aristotle, and probably even before that.

That’s why I wanted to do the DVD of The Hero‘s 2 Journeys with Chris Vogler. He uses Joseph Campbell’s model, a mythical model for approaching story. I think it is wonderful, and I think his work is among the best out there. He and I don’t really disagree on the core principles of story, we just have different approaches, so we can sort of make fun of each other and argue about that.

I will say that there are a lot of myths about screenwriting floating around, and some are perpetuated by other lecturers. Myths like ‘if you live outside LA you don’t have a chance’ or ‘it’s not what you know, it is who you know’. It is important to know people, but you can get to know people. There are ways to network and contact people and get them to read your script and you’ll get to know them.

There are a lot of things like that, that I disagree with, but not the principles that I hear espoused by the top screenwriting teachers, or by the successful writers that I work with.

————

Karel: We know you from your books and DVDs but what keeps you busy most of your time?

Michael: I primarily do three things: I consult with writers, directors, producers, filmmakers and storytellers of all kind; I’m invited to lecture to lots of different groups; and I write — books and articles and so on. And of course, I have DVDs and CDs of some of the lectures that I give.

Karel: You seem to have a lot on your plate. How do you organize your day?

Michael: In a typical day, the majority of what I do is the consultation. I get up in the morning and I read a client’s script, and take extensive notes on that screenplay.

Later that day, I have a consulting session with that client, either in person or by phone. If it’s the first time we’ve talked, that might take up to three hours. If it’s an ongoing client, our session is closer to one and a half or two hours.

Then I might have another session with a writer who has outlined changes they plan to make as a result of our previous sessions. I might have a third coaching session with one of my clients who wants to get my guidance on their writing process, or on their pitch. And in between, I talk to prospective clients, write articles, prepare for lectures, add information to my web site and newsletters, and answer emails.

And after I’ve been in the office for about twelve hours, I’m done! And then my wife and I will have dinner and watch television or a movie. And that’s pretty much it. Glamorous, isn’t it?!

————

Karel: Which are your favourite TV series?

Michael: Well right now there are two new series that may not yet be playing in Australia. The season is kind of truncated because of the Writers Guild strike here. But there is a half-hour series on HBO called In Treatment, which I love. It’s on six nights a week. Gabriel Byrne plays a psychologist, and each episode shows him in therapy with one of his clients. The series is set up so every Monday we see the same client as we saw the previous Monday, just like it would be with a real therapist. So Monday nights are about a young woman, and Tuesday night it’s about guy, and Wednesday nights it’s a teenage girl, and Thursdays a couple. Then Fridays the shrink goes to see his own therapist and talks about his own problems. It’s just talking heads, just two or three people in a room doing therapy. It’s based, I think, on an Israeli series, and it’s brilliantly written and wonderfully performed.

My other favourite series so far is Terminator: The Sarah Conner chronicles. I was a big terminator fan and they are doing some interesting new things with that franchise.

Karel: What is your favourite classic movie?

Michael: When I hear the term ‘classic’, I think in terms of pre-1950. I don’t think of movies from the 70′s on as classics in the same way. I guess you would have to regard The Godfather as a classic film. But when you say classic, I think of black and white, Hollywood in its heyday. And then I think without exception it would be Casablanca.

In more recent times, certainly Chinatown, certainly The Godfather. Those are sort of easy, because everybody puts those on the list. But I think any list of great movies would have to include Sleepless in Seattle, Shrek, When Harry Met Sally, L.A. Confidential, and a number of Woody Allen movies – but probably most of all Manhattan.

To be honest, it is an impossible question. There are so many movies that I love, so many movies I think are just wonderful. I actually hate the questions because I know I’m gonna forget to mention a movie that is just very close to me. And there are more coming along all the time!

————

Karel: Do you watch a movie every day?

Michael: No, I probably watch on average about two movies a week, maybe three. But I watch television too, because I also consult with television writers, plus I’m a fan. I mean there are certain TV series that I really like, so I watch those. And I watch videos, and I go to the movies about once a week.

Karel: Do you have any favourites that don’t follow the principles you teach?

Michael: Oh yeah, yeah. There are a number of movies that I think are wonderful, that I generally don’t talk about when I lecture. The reason is: I want people to understand the core of what I consider the essential principles of story and structure and character arc and love story and eliciting emotion. So the examples I use are ones that follow the formula – if you want to call it that – so they can strengthens a writer’s understanding of it.

No movie breaks all the rules, but great movies often push the envelope, or they take liberties, or they fit into a niche that is less commercial.

So people regard Annie Hall as a great romantic comedy. But the basic formula for a Hollywood romantic comedy involves deception – a character with a compelling goal is lying about something to get it, then she meets someone and falls in love, but the person doesn’t know that the hero is pretending to be somebody she’s not, as in Working Girl or Tootsie or The Wedding Crashers. Or maybe the hero is just lying, as they are in a Sleepless in Seattle or Sideways. In any case, there is almost always deception, and always a happy ending.

Annie Hall doesn’t have any of those elements. It is more like a dramatic love story, but it’s so funny that it is regarded as a romantic comedy. And it doesn’t have a happy ending. Woody Allen is pretty much allergic to happy endings because he sees love affairs and relationships as finite. So he breaks the rules, but it’s still a great movie.

Another example, one of my all-time favourite movies and one of the great screenplays coming out of Hollywood in the last twenty years, is The Shawshank Redemption. It certainly follows rules for creating empathy, and giving characters visible goals, and developing character arc and theme. But it doesn’t follow a common structure. Instead it uses a three-stage structure. We see the hero in one period of time, then we jump ahead quite a few years, see them again, jump ahead, and see them a third time. That structure is used by When Harry Met Sally, by Steel Magnolias, by Driving Miss Daisy, by numerous other movies. But those movies are a very small percentage of the movies Hollywood makes.

So that’s not a typical film, yet it’s also a great screenplay.

Here’s the way I usually say it: you can break the rules only after you know the rules so well that you can honestly say, “I will elicit more emotion, and create a better emotional experience for the audience, by pushing the envelope rather than following the formula.”

When writers get in to trouble is when they say, “I don’t believe in formula, I’m just going to ignore the rules and tell whatever story I want to tell.” Those movies rarely work.

END OF PART ONE

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