Keep informed by following me on Twitter (bottom of left sidebar).

And don’t forget you can subscribe to our posts so you don’t miss any of this, ever.

• Bill Martell celebrates 50 years of NORTH BY NORTH WEST
• Take some time out at film school with Mystery Man
• Download American Beauty and Chinatown screenplays.
• How to make a Charlie Kaufman movie (if you really wanted)
• A movie is ultimately made in the edit. Why not write for the edit
• How to sell? Here’s the answer. Or rather: 101 answers.
• Pitch to yourself! After all, you are your worst critic.
• Did you ever stop to think the villian thinks he’s the good guy?
• Dropping product names, okay?
• Your first draft always sucks. Finish what you started.
• Where Fantastic 4 Rise of the Silver Surfer went wrong, so wrong
• Pixar writer/director Pete Docter: “A completely messy hodgepodge”
• How to write for editors: the last rewriters of the show.

With thanks to Sol.

Enjoy!

Karel

Final Draft has it, Microsoft Word has it. Every single word processor has it.

It’s the “Find/Replace” function.

Okay, perhaps it’s more like a ‘pass’ rather than a ‘draft’. Still, you can have a notably slicker draft in a day.

Another disclaimer: it’s powerful but also slightly dangerous if you’re reckless – or inexperienced.

One keyboard click and your entire screenplay can be changed. So before we start, remember to make backups regularly. I make a copy – with a new file/version name – each time I change anything significant in the script.

To limit the extent of the changes, it is good to make the search case sensitive. So for instance, if you’re looking for text in scene headings, the result should return UPPERCASE text only.

If the Find/Replace operation hasn’t done what you want – or if it has changed MORE than you wanted – in most word processors you can use Ctr-Z/Apple-Z  to undo.

Easy to find – Easy to fix

This feature is equally useful to the novice who is preparing the draft to be read by an editor as it is to the experienced writer going towards Final Draft. Nobody is perfect; everyone overlooks certain issues that may distract from a smooth read.

What follows is a random selection of script issues that can be fixed using this option.  When you look carefully at some of the stylistic weaknesses in your script, you’ll almost certainly find a dozen more examples that apply to your specific screenplay.

If you own a copy of our Screenplay Checklist(*), you will find that some of the issues listed there can be quickly found and fixed using Find/Replace.

For any explanation on WHY to make the recommended changes, please consult the Checklist. This article is not about that.

Scene Headings – Slug Lines

Make sure these are absolutely immaculate.

There is usually only one simple, correct format for each slug. Use it.

- If you have used “INT, MAIL ROOM, DAY” (same for ‘EXT’):

Find: “INT, ”
Replace with: “INT. “

Then:

Find: “, DAY”
Replace with: ” – DAY”

- If you have used DAWN, MORNING, AFTERNOON, DUSK, EVENING etc., you’ll almost certainly need to replace this with DAY or NIGHT only.

Find: “- MORNING”
Replace with: “- DAY”

Etcetera.

The hyphen is included in the search string to avoid changing anything outside the slug lines.

The result: INT. MAIL ROOM – DAY

Here’s an advantage for users of Final Draft: in the ‘More’ options under the Search function, you can specify individual or groups of elements only. In the above example, you will only tick ‘Scene Heading’.

Punctuation

- Remove excessive dots and reduce to triple dots:

Find: “….”
Replace with: “…”

Repeat this action until no more instances are found.

- Excessive white space / too many paragraph marks.

Some screenwriting packages don’t check the amount of line breaks and you may end up with too much white space between scenes or paragraphs. This is easily resolved. The maximum number of line breaks is THREE. So wherever you have four or more, you need to reduce it to three – at the most.

Find: “^p^p^p^p”
Replace with: “^p^p^p”

Repeat this action until no more instances are found.

- Correct use of interruptions and pauses.

Find: “–” (double dash)

Check if each instance is only used for INTERRUPTED sentences that are NOT continued afterwards. Wherever they are continued, you need to use “…”. (Check David Trottier for details)

[adrotate group="1" banner="1"]

- Multiple exclamation marks

Usually there is no reason to differentiate between intensity of shouting.

In a script, loud is loud and too much is messy.

So leave it up to director and cast and for now replace “!!” with “!” until no more instances can be found.

Dialogue

Numbers

You can use the find/replace function to correct numbers in dialogue, where you need to spell them out: “seven hundred and three” in stead of “703″, “twenty to six” in stead of “17.40h” etc.

So wherever you have used numbers in dialogue, replace them with the complete words.

Abbreviations

The same goes for abbreviations: in dialogue, replace “km” with “kilometer” etc.

Repetitions

If you find that a character uses the same lame word(s) or sentence all the time, do a search and fix it.

Style

You can really jazz up your style by removing bland words and replace them with more colourful alternatives.

Be specific:

Find: “goes”, “makes” etc.
Replace with: [more specific verbs]

Next,

Find: “begins to”, “starts to” etc.

Then remove each instance and replace it with the more specific, active verb.

Manipulation of time:

If you’re using words like “slowly”, “cautiously”, “hesitantly” a lot, be aware of the following:

- it may seem as if this movie moves slowly.
- the movie is longer than the page count suggests.

The same goes for: “quickly”.  If you’re using this or similar words often,

- action may seem to move more quickly than it really does.
- the movie may become longer than the page count suggests.

Neither may be a big issue, but it’s good to be aware of it.

Manipulation of feelings:

Quite a lot of beginners’ scripts frequently use phrases such as “he smiles at her”, “she looks away, sad“.

This is easy to diagnose, not so easy to fix.

Forcing the actors into facial expressions is the worst way of conveying emotions.  The emotions need to be felt by the audience, whether or not the actors express them. Emotions are the result of actions that precede a scene or situation. They should not be forced upon an audience/the reader by describing a character’s body language.

Perform a search on these words to see how you’re scoring.

There may be some more work to be done before you send out that script…

Time passing:

You cannot describe the passing of time without giving us specific actions – or a cut/dissolve to the next shot/scene.

- for a while
- he keeps walking back until she finally gives in
- moments pass in silence

All the above suggest that more time passes on the screen than is suggested by the page count in the script.

Keep the 1p./min. rule in mind. More importantly: make sure that what happens on the screen holds our attention.

We see – We hear

Some people don’t mind; others hate it. If you can rephrase without using “we”, do it.

Typos / Grammar / Spelling

There really is no excuse for leaving typos in the script.  Spell checkers are free and they are everywhere.

Here’s the first one to look for:

Find: “its”

Then check for each instance if you don’t mean “it is”. If you do,

Replace with: “it’s”

Next,

Find: “it’s”

Check if you don’t mean the possessive pronoun.  If you do,

Replace with “its”.

Do it all again.

Finally, read the first five pages of your screenplay with the utmost scrutiny and make notes about the nature of each error you find. Then, for each error, use the FIND option to check the rest of your script against the same issue.

You see, there virtually are no limits to the use of this function. If you use it cleverly, it will save you heaps of time.

Set aside half a day or a day to play around with the Find/Replace function. Make backup copies every 5 mins.

I have seen examples where screenplays looked infinitely more professional after little more than a few hours.

Now, go forth and unleash the power of F/R on your script!

(*)If you don’t yet own a copy of the Screenplay Checklist, you can still request the Beta version by emailing us with “ScreenplayChecklist” in the subject.

I have installed version 8.0.0.,  the latest available version at the time of writing.

Because I work with clients who use a variety of software, I often find myself converting and exporting between platforms. In this area, FD hasn’t improved much since FD6 (from which I upgraded). That said, a typical screenwriter may not need to convert that often.

PRO:

- The overall feature set has improved.
- The layout is slightly more pleasing to the eye than before.
- Scene Navigator is a cool feature.
- Not too many bugs (See below: Cons).
- The top toolbars can be customised to contain a range of commands.
- The page count manager. (don’t think you’re allowed to use it, though!)
- FD can be active on two computers; installed on as many as you like.
- An ever improving knowledge base on the FD web site.
- Upgrade is only $99.

CON:

- FD8 saves as .fdx by default, even for imported FD7 scripts.
- Copy and paste between documents has resulted in crashing.
- No good solution for tracking changes.
- Cost: $249 (To compare: MS Word is $229).
- The interactive troubleshooter on the web took forever to launch.
- Key Shortcuts: if you select text and change the style, the text is deleted.
- Chat support times: for OZ writers this support closes at morning tea.
- Phone support is free only for 3 months and for 20mins only.
- The format assistant could have been improved.
- Importing from .rtf resulted in blank pages with “(CONT.)” here and there.
- No competitive upgrade offer to be found on the web site.

If you’re earning money writing for the screen, you should have Final Draft. If you’re not, I believe you can find better value alternatives.

I don’t usually reprint entire blog posts but I read this entry on Seth Godin’s blog – and sadly it applies perfectly to many aspiring screenwriters.

Godin is the world’s #1 blogger. So the cat is well and truly out of the bag.

Replace Godin’s  ‘your customers’ with ‘your readers’.  They may include that producer, agent or funding agency you want to send your script to. You surely don’t want to be looking stupid in their eyes.

In our series about screenwriting software, the people behind some of the leading titles contribute to this blog.

Our guest this week is Eric McDonald, CEO of Zhura.com.

While screenwriting is rarely credited as a driver of new technology, it certainly benefits from technical innovation.  Screenwriters have enjoyed continuous improvement in the tools that allow them to work more efficiently, from the typewriter to personal computers to niche word processors.

A new wave of technology is improving things again, fueled by distributed computing and ubiquitous Internet connectivity.

With the rapid proliferation and accessibility of the Internet, software providers are changing the paradigm in terms of how they develop and offer their products.  Rather than sell (or rather: license) you a piece of software that you install on one or two computers, they create software that runs completely online, which you access on an as-needed bases.

Think of software as gym equipment. As a health enthusiast, you could go out and purchase the best equipment available for use in your home.  If you are disciplined, you will use it for an hour or so every day.  Contrast that with getting a gym membership:  no lump sum payment, no equipment maintenance, cost of equipment is spread among users, and an opportunity to meet people with similar interests.    Success for a gym relies on providing a quality service to a motivated group who has the ability to get to their facility.

All of the elements are in place for software companies to provide their software on an as-needed basis.  It’s called Software as a Service (SaaS), and you are already using it.

If you access your messages through Gmail or Yahoo, or you use Facebook, Bebo, Flickr, or eBay, you are using SaaS.  Ever thought about the fact that you have never needed to  “upgrade” Wikipedia?  It’s just out there, always up-to-date and available when you need it.

Software manufacturers are well aware of the benefits that a SaaS platform provides their business:

While none of the traditional screenwriting software providers currently offer products that run online, several new companies provide solutions that are just a mouse click away.  Each of these sport slightly different features and interfaces, so that the consumer can select the one that best meets their needs and goals. Early to market were Plotbot.com and Scriptbuddy.com, which provide basic industry-standard formatting.

More recent alternatives include Scripped.com and Zhura.com, both released in 2007.  Both provide the familiar “tab” and “enter” keystroke shortcuts, and  import/export from popular off-the-shelf software.  Zhura has also added community features and the ability to collaborate in real time.

Security is always a concern when working online.  Zhura, as well as other SaaS companies, believe that the overall security of an online solution is unmatched by desktop solutions.

Statistics show that one out of five hard drives will crash in their lifetime.  We’ve heard horror stories of people who have lost everything on their hard drive, only salvaging files that they had at some point sent through email, since they could log on to re-download.  Guess what, that email program is SaaS, with online storage.

Statistics on stolen laptops are staggering – 2000 are stolen daily in the United States.  It takes far less sophistication to grab someone’s laptop from a coffee shop than it does to crack into your online bank account (SaaS) service.  Online security, even more so than convenience and features, may be the most compelling reason for a transition to SaaS.

Internet data solutions are so plentiful and cheap, companies now routinely run their data centers on multiple, redundant servers, and perform daily backups.

There is an exciting new generation of software being deployed over the Internet.  It requires no installation, no upfront cost, no maintenance, and enables features that were unheard of as little as three years ago.  As these solutions find their way into specific areas such as screenwriting, they offer compelling and exciting new opportunities for consumers.

Unfortunately, they only make your screenwriting experience simpler, you still have to write the story!

TBA August 09 – 9:30am-5:30pm – CSGPN Training Room
Level 1, 158 Liverpool Rd, ASHFIELD NSW 2131
Contact: 0407 955 555 - karel@ozzywood.com

WHAT YOU WILL LEARN:
A brilliant read gets you a long way in our industry. This seminar shares the secrets to perfect your screenplay and astound the reader. A whole day full of invaluable basics as well as a bunch of tips, tricks and checklists. Your screenplay may not be perfect, but you can surely make it look the part.
How to avoid the ‘army of ants’? What is ‘vertical writing’? Should you ‘cheat’? What is good dialogue? How much white on the page? Learn to be your own first script editor, proof reader and general devil’s advocate.

Click here to book now and save 20%

BACKGROUND:
Once you have that razor sharp concept and rock solid story, you’ll need to magically work it into a brilliant read for the producer, the executive or the reader who will decide on your future. The key is to keep them turning those pages. Here, not only story structure comes into play but also the elegance of your style and formatting.

ESSENTIAL FOR FILMMAKERS:
Without the knowledge taught in this course, screenwriters, directors and producers stand a better chance of winning the lottery than making it big in movies. Story structure is not just another aspect of screenwriting. It is the stuff that makes or breaks careers.

Combine and save up to 25%

INTENDED AUDIENCE:
Beginning Screenwriters – Make sure your submission for development funds looks impressive.
Intermediate Screenwriters – Brush up on your scene writing skills and scrutinise your style.
Advanced Screenwriters – Speed up and improve your process using the latest software tools.

THE LOCATION:
The CSGPN Training Room in Ashfield.
By car from the city: take Parramatta Rd and turn left into Ashfield. CSGPN is 800ms further on your left, on the corner next to Blockbusters.
By train from Central: 15mins on the train, then a short 3mins walk. Ample parking available.
Here are more detailed directions.

COURSE FEE:
- $165: handouts, coffee/tea, script software, 3 months Premium Ed.
- $132: concessions % early bird (payment received 2 weeks before event).
- $99: for students (call or email to check eligibility first)

Registrations are strictly limited to 20 participants. Click here to receive registration information via email.

Student? Click here for your 40% discount!

ABOUT THE TUTOR:
Executive Producer and Story Analyst Karel Segers, a Licentiate of Germanic Philology (University of Louvain, Belgium) has produced three short dramas and co-produced a documentary and two feature films. As an EP, Karel has facilitated project funding from both government and private investors. Over the past few years he has consulted to award-winning writers, directors and producers on films in development as well as post-production. His views are published in The Story Dept., the undisputed #1 blog on screenwriting in Australia. Both nominees for the 2007 AWG Monte Miller Award were Karel’s clients.

WHAT OTHERS SAY:
“Karel Segers brilliantly conveys the best of what is currently understood about effective story telling for the cinema. His method of teaching is highly responsive, vividly supported by carefully selected visuals, and, best of all, witty and memorable.”
-Ron Cobb
Concept Artist, Writer, Director

“I attended a course of Karel’s in 2007 and two years later the details of what I learned have stayed with me. I catch myself automatically observing films and reading books using the critical tools I learned from Karel, and most importantly – how a story could be improved.”
-Marcus Amann
Professional Writer

“I enjoyed the day enormously and thought you were just wonderful. My knowledge and understanding of films was expanded enormously, and many things I understood instinctively but had never heard articulated about the art of storytelling were nailed firmly in place.
It was fantastic!”
-Kate Forsyth
Best-selling Author ‘Witches of Eileanan’

“Karel is the new breed of Teachers who not only conveys the technicality so effortlessly, but makes you want to write your story. He is passionate, focused and he knows his stuff. Karel you Rock, dude!”
-Gerard John
Producer / Entrepreneur

“I came to you with a bunch of scenes in the hope of finding a story and when I look back I’m still surprised at how far we have come. Now the script has won the 2007 Monte Miller award. Thanks again Karel.”
-Nathan Fielding
Winner 2007 AWG Monte Miller Award

“He never gets distracted with the little stuff that tends to fix itself when the important parts are working harmoniously. Karel is a rare beast amongst story consultants – a film literate and long-standing aficionado of many film genres. I hold Karel in very high regard.”
-Kieran Galvin
Film Director / Screenwriter

“Karel is my go-to guy for Script Development and/or assessment. He has a unique insight into the process and any projects I bring him are always infinitely improved by the time we have finished. His grasp of story and structure is second to none. I have recommended his services to several colleagues in the past, all of whom have been very satisfied with the results.”
- Michael Favelle
International Sales Agent
Top 10 Person to Watch in 2009

“Karel Segers is Australia’s Robert McKee”
– Stephen J De Jager
Creative Director, Roadshow Entertainment

description:

Your final draft will be proof-read and polished where necessary. Typos will be gone, formatting errors corrected. Wherever your style jeopardises an elegant read, you will get specific recommendations for improvement.

objectives:

- to attract an agent – to send your script to producers – to enter screenplay competitions – to submit your script for funding – to apply for a script workshop

turnaround(*):

- ten working days from receipt of synopsis and payment.

payment:

- payment in full prior to commencement of the work. – methods accepted: PayPal, Direct Transfer, Bank Cheque, Credit Card(**) – part-refunded if in conjunction with an other service (within one month).

proceed and book this service

Back to services by budget range, time frame or script stage.

____________________________________________________________

(*) Estimated, based on past experience. (**) Processing fee may apply.

Nafa – Choctops Meeting: 18/2/08

(Report by John Haly,
Thank you to Tony Chu)

Karel -a Belgian producer and script consultant – founded OZZYWOOD Films and The Story Department (which is a unique Australian blog and online resource for screen story theory). Karel headed production and programming at London’s Digital Broadcasting Company and was a film buyer for CANAL+, (Europe’s largest pay TV service). He was the host for a movie show for MTV Europe. His production credits included two short dramas, a documentary and a feature film. In post-production, he has a short animation and a feature film. As a script consultant, he has clients both in Australia and overseas. Of interest to Nafa members, he also runs regular workshops on script writing. A notable fact is that the 2007 nominees and also the winner of the Australian Writer Guild Monte Miller Award were Karel’s clients. Accordingly, if you are a script writer, you will, indeed, be well advised to pay particular attention to his views on ‘What our industry needs is a Story Revolution’.

Karel began by delving back into his personal history stating that he had started in Radio as a reporter who would phone in initial reviews of films for night radio - a far cry from the online internet reviewing of films of the contemporary culture. His first venture into a screenplay dates back to 1989, although he admits to abandoning that path because of early criticism by an established script writer. His next attempt was twelve years later, and he promptly lost the first draft.

In 2001, he moved to Australia where he co-produced a documentary and then a short film, but the last didn’t go anywhere. The next film was “Aerosol” which was dispatched to, and was selected by a few film festivals, but won no significant prizes. As a consequence, he then contemplated a change of direction and began studying and reading in an effort to get new insights as to the creative writing process.

The author at the top of his reading list was Robert McKee. McKee’s book, ‘Story’ is considered by some as the “screenwriters’ bible”. When purchasing the software for screen writing called ‘Power Structure’, he was offered at a reduced price a DVD called ‘The Hero’s 2 Journeys’ which was promoted as extremely enlightening material capable of educating writers and which revealed the template upon which the vast majority of successful stories and Hollywood blockbusters are based. Michael Hauge and Christopher Vogler’s DVD opened Karel’s eyes as it offered a unique insiders’ understanding of the ways screenplay structure, character, and theme must combine to be successful.

Karel became aware of the sad fact that there seemed to be little by the way of ‘Story Education’ available in Australia. Michael Hauge’s principles were applied in advising writers of script plays. With the aid of AFC funding, it became possible to produce a following accompanied by good results. He educated writers that the structure of writing was important, particularly from the perspective of Character. His insight centred on the question: Where does drama happen? He emphasises that it is not in the visualisation of the story, but the subtext beneath the story that good scriptwriting lies.

The fault to which many writers fall prey is that of visualising the scene as they are writing, thus thinking in terms of pictures. As it is a visual media up with which we end, we must keep in mind into what it is that a visual story latches in the minds of the audience – for example, that of ‘Desire’! The question that ought to be at the centre of your script should focus on the desires and objectives of your characters because film ‘hangs together’ with the emotions of “Desire”.

A frequent criticism of Australian films is that they have weak protagonists, (i.e. those without will power). If you give your protagonist a visible goal with a desire and will to get there, then you are more likely to engage your audience. The essence of Michael Hauge’s proposition is that you need a character who has a visible goal with a clearly defined end-point.

Karel recalled the Columbia University educator, Frank Daniel, who was noted for his development of the sequence paradigm of Screenwriting. Frank’s conception of a good protagonist was ‘somebody who wants something badly and has difficulty getting it.”

Karel turned to the audience to ask, ‘As a screen writer what is your primary goal?’ After a few financial and entertaining replies, someone suggested ‘to tell a story’. Karel then asked, ‘Why are you telling that story?’ Quoting Michael Hauge, his answer was two words, ‘elicit emotion’. In order to do this, there are three things with which a screen writer can play. 1. Character, 2. Desire, 3. Conflict.

The best way Karel can find to illustrate this is simply through the examples of successful films, which is what he uses when he runs his workshops. Irrespective of whether it is a Mainline or Arthouse movie, they all follow the same structure. The film ‘Die Hard’ deals with a man seeking to stop the criminals. ‘Jaws’ relates to a man’s desire to stop the Shark. Consider an Oscar winning Arthouse movie: “The Lives of Others’ where in the first half, the protagonist desires to expose the director while in the second half, he wishes to protect him.

As a screenwriter, you need to structure the desire. (Characters need structure in their desire). Your audience needs to know in the first act what that desire is. Your character also needs to resonate with the audience, exhibiting his or her human flaws. It is the flaw that holds the need of the protagonist. In ‘Die Hard, while desiring to stop the criminals, his flaw was that he was afraid to tackle the criminals who held his wife hostage. In the “The Lives of Others”, the protagonist changes his mind mid way. Audiences expect to perceive this desire, even if it is not spelled out.

As Aristotle distinguishes: a whole is that which has a beginning, a middle, and an end. In the beginning, the audience is introduced to the setting, the characters, their situation,/conflict and the goal they desire. In short, something happens, unexpectedly, which defines the story to come. To paraphrase Aristotle, ‘A beginning is that which does not itself follow anything by causal necessity, but after which something naturally is or comes to be’.

In ‘Die Hard’ the building is stopped while John McClane goes up to the highest floor to get a bird’s eye perspective and think through his options. He says to himself, ‘Think, think, think’. [KS: The exact same words are used by Woody in Toy Story 2 after Wheezy is taken away.] The initial plot point of confusion [KS: In the Hero's Journey the 'Mentor' stage, 'Refusing the Call'] shifts to the derivation of a plan and new plot point – an event followed by a reaction. Something happens, a plan evolves and the pursuit of activity begins and continues all the way to a resolution.

Karel advised that as a Script writer you should ask yourself, ‘What is the reason this story is being told?’. As for Karel himself, he was sitting here talking to us because he was strongly motivated by the desire to see a revolution in the way Australian Script writers create stories. He proclaimed, ‘Make sure there is a connection between yourself and the story you are telling. There is a requirement to want to connect to an audience.’

It is in the tribal ethos of ancient days that the storyteller tells stories relevant to their tribes. They are told not only to get the message across, but also to create such impact that the stories are repeatedly retold to subsequent generations of that tribe. It is important whether you be scriptwriters or producers or directors, that you choose the scripts that can best tell the story.

Be aware that the contemporary tribe of humanity is being conditioned by the way a story is being told in film and theatre. Be conscious of writing structure as it is entering an arena, a tribe, a society that is accustomed to perceive in a specific manner. Don’t be dismissive of the formula for telling the story in film just because you want to be ‘different’, or because your audience has been conditionally seasoned, even if they are not consciously aware of being told a story with a definite style.

Karel moved on to seek to discredit a few commonly held myths. The first one is that writers should rush out and buy specific Screen Writing Software such as ‘Final Draft’. In the first place, there are plenty of free alternatives out there for Microsoft word templates, [KS: Celtx] etc. Primarily, it initially tempts you to write in scenes, when it is the story you first need to relate. Reading scripts to get the format right as a pre-requisite encourages the visualisation of scenes when first, you should be concentrating on the story. Try watching a movie, break it down and decode it yourself rather than reading or writing a script (story first, script last).

The next myth concerns language. Some writers love flowery prose. Question yourself as to whether your objective is to write something that only reads well, or do you wish to write a story of substance? Identify: where is the story? Do you have a character with a desire? Where is the conflict in the story? This, as your primary guideline becomes the focus of the storyline.

The next myth concerns Log Lines. (A Log Line is a brief summary of the film, often providing both a synopsis of the program’s plot, and an emotional “hook” to stimulate interest). Karel confessed for a long time that he believed that the Log Line was the last thing you wrote after the script and synopsis. He is now firmly convinced the opposite is true.

If you want to know more about the importance of Log Lines go to ‘The Unknown Screen Writer‘ and ‘Mystery Man on Film‘. These will help you to use correctly the Log Lines – a procedure the importance of which cannot be overestimated. These are the selling lines of your film which you must know before you start writing. Formulate a Log Line of: who is your character? What does the character want?- and- What is the obstacle(s) in his way? Try to compose your log line by writing it down as soon as possible as this keeps you in focus. That great idea that pops into your head during the writing! Does it fit into your Log Line? If not, put it aside because it has no place in your story. Keep it for your next script.

Karel then suggested that the biggest mistake people make in the attempt to sell their scripts is to dispatch them too early. Sending and then resending draft versions is the quickest way to ensure that the people reading the dispatched articles lose interest. By resending a newer, updated version of the script, you are admitting to the producer or director that you sent them a previous script that you well knew wasn’t ready.

Following on from that theme, Karel pointed out that formatting the script is not important until you have the story written. As Art Arthur said: ‘Don’t get it right, get it written!’ Once it is written in the final draft, THEN there are formatting rules to which you need to comply. It is then that those slug lines, script punctation and the absence of typos needs to be scrupulously addressed.

Karel noted that studies of the Australian Government Feature Film Funding have shown that only about 19 out of some 419 films actually made money. He impressively expressed the point that our essential requirement was to think about the market. Again, he reiterated the need for writers to understand and act on the principles espoused in “The Hero’s Journey”.

Despite the perception that both Germans and Australians possess an inherent hero phobia, explore the successful films in our own industry, and that, in itself, will disabuse any such notion.

At this point, Jeanie opened the floor to questions. These included ones concerning the cultural differences between countries when it came to making films. This, in turn, raised the topic of our anxiety of being commercially successful. Questions about breaking the rules for film structure returned a reply of: ‘how about mastering the ‘Rules‘ first BEFORE contemplating breaking them- not the other way around.

Tony concluded the evening by thanking Karel for his contribution. Karel spoke privately to people as they approached him and eventually the evening broke up, as actors, producers and director’s networks chatted on before being kindly ejected by the Bar Staff wishing to close. Some of us spilled out onto the sidewalks to continue our conversations till the passing night drew us to the consideration that we should be homeward bound.

Some call it retail therapy.

You are not a screenwriter until you have made that sacrifice, until you have invested money in your career, right?

I call it a waste of $250.

Your first draft should be a quick and dirty braindump. “Don’t get it right, get it written,” dixit Art Arthur.

Of course, it has its advantages to write your first draft in some sort of a script format. See it as an exercise in format and style, plus you have a rough idea of the screen time.

However, for this they have invented free MS Word templates, style sheets or even better: Celtx.

Format and style are totally irrelevant.

If you are fiddling to get the wording of your action right, to make your characters sound like ‘real people’, to come up with really cool visuals, you are wasting your time.

If this is your first draft, nobody will ever see it, except your story editor or script consultant. And if the first script feedback is all about format, style, dialogue and scene construction, you haven’t given the editor the right brief.

Or perhaps you should change editors.

You should be working on that story, which currently may not even be a story yet. If McKee’s statistics are right, ninety percent of what you have written will go. Won’t make it to the screen. At least not for this film.

Now, because of my emphasis on story, it may seem as if I think the presentation of the screenplay is less important.

But can you afford to shop around an excellent story but scripted in a way that looks sloppy and rushed?

Of course you can’t.

I was talking about early drafts.

Once you are sending a script for consideration to producers, studios or talent, it has to be immaculate. Nothing must distract from a smooth read.

Your formatting has to be completely in line with the standards of the country (Letter format if you’re based in the US, A4 elsewhere), the company (if it’s a major studio) or even the person (if it’s, say, Spielberg) you are sending the script to.

Why am I so paranoid about this?

Because others are.

Imagine this: a reader or executive has just read an ‘okay’ story. But it was a terrific read: an elegantly flowing script, no typos, great style, a fast read with “lots of white”.

Your script is next.

Your story is on par with the previous one, but by page 10 this reader has found three typos, a couple of “we see”‘s and some awkward sluglines.

Your story may have had the same potential. Yes, it could have been produced for less money and audiences might have loved the movie better.

Still, you’re out.

The other writer might have been equally talented; he was more professional. If you want to play with the pros, you’ll have to be ready to write fast, re-write fast, and keep the same level of professionalism. If you can’t even get that first spec script right – which they know you have laboured over for years – you’re not up for the challenge.

And guess what: in the books of this reader, producer or company, not just your script but even you may be history. They probably have a sufficient amount of fresh offerings every day so they feel perfectly happy to bar you from ever submitting anything ever again.

If you are serious about earning six or seven figure fees in your new career, prove it. Before you send out your script, invest a few hundred dollars in having it read and polished by a pro.

Now…

Did you just realise your script has gone out to more than one company? Like… all of them?

Bad format and style can kill your career.

Better start thinking about a cool ‘nom de plume’.

Otherwise, here are some tips to save you the money and frustration I sacrificed on my way to stardom.

Being a decent citizen, I buy after I try. So I replaced my “trial” version of Final Draft with a legit copy, hoping the bugs would go. It turned out to be the equivalent of going to see THE DA VINCI CODE in the cinema. I felt I had been caught in the trap of some excellent marketing. But what should you expect from a screenwriting package? Let’s put things in perspective.

The last time I checked, Final Draft cost AUD$569, or roughly the same as the entire Microsoft Office Suite. All that, while some simple MS Word macros or style sheets can achieve what Final Draft does? Plus: you have the wildest flexibility in terms of backups, tracking changes, spell-checking, saving online etc. If you don’t have MS Office or you hate Bill G.: OpenOffice. Free.

If you’re really dying to part with your money on a script package, explore Movie Magic Screenwriter (formerly: Screenwriter 2000). Cheaper than Final Draft and better value for money in my view.

But why pay if your writing isn’t earning you any money (yet)? No, I’m not referring to BitTorrent here. A new, totaly FREE piece of software is called Celtx. Still in its infancy but growing rapidly, with a smart development team behind it and community-oriented.

Celtx intends to go a lot further than just the screenwriting bits: it aims at becoming the central command post for your film’s entire project management. If they manage to stay afloat, it may well become a filmmakers’ software of choice.

Now, if you believe that any of the above will help you writing better scripts, you have fallen prey to the Film Industry’s Greatest Con. These are all just word processors with serious formatting limitations. Jazzed-down versions of MS Word if you wish.

Here is my advice for the cash-poor: don’t spend a cent on script formatting and save your money for software that helps you with the hard work. Instead labour on the story using Dramatica Pro, John Truby’s Blockbuster, Movie Outline or Powerstructure.

I used to use the last one, as it distinguishes itself from the others in pretty much the same way MM Screenwriter does among the script software. Powerstructure has immense flexibility, allows you to write full scenes, just one liners, or whatever in between you feel comfortable with.

You can customise it to your own favourite structure, be it three acts, sequences or Vogler’s THE HERO’S JOURNEY, then export directly to a text file or into whatever script software you use. If you’re a member of that circle of writers who first write their entire first draft before starting to outline, you can import your existing script to reshape its structure. Admitted, I’ve had a few quirks doing that but the PS support team helped me out.

Powerstructure makes a lot of sense, as it works in the way most movie decision makers think. It is being distributed by the wonderful guys at WriteBrain, where you can download a trial version.

Even better than burning your money on software: give it to a human story/script editor who could really make a difference for you. ;-)

DVD COMMENTARY: McCABE AND MRS MILLER

I found a downright great commentary on this unsung masterpiece by writer/director Robert Altman, in which Warren Beatty opens a whorehouse in the Old West.

Although thirty-five years old, this movie could be seen today alongside the razorsharp doco THE CORPORATION and – to a lesser extent – AN INCONVENIENT TRUTH. It ultimately tackles corporatisation and if you wish globalisation within the genre of the western. And as the commentary puts it: Altman won’t give you a John Wayne type of Western hero. No. Warren Beatty’s protagonist will shoot you in the back if his life depends on it.

The voice recording of this commentary track is so crystal clear you can literally hear producer David Foster’s watch ticking in the background as he explains why every man and his dog in Hollywood wants to work with this director. I agree: Altman has a vision and integrity that is so rare you won’t even find it with masters like Scorsese. Unlike the latter, Altman will NEVER make ‘one for the Studio’.

My favourite bits are the account of Leonard Cohen’s musical collaboration, Altman’s hilarious tirade about western’s big hats and the master’s view on dialogue:

“The dialogue in these kinds of films [...] is part of the character [...]. It is not the words that are important. [...] That’s too related to theater, where you [...] advance plot with the words. When you have close-ups of people and faces [...], it’s just better that the words come from the moment or from the actors themselves.”

Altman makes this statement in the context of Beatty’s soliloquies in the film. He asked Beatty to mumble to himself inaudibly before actually delivering the crucial lines in soliloquy. As a result, the audience is used to the character talking to himself in a more or less natural way. And here is the mark of a good commentary: the director sharing with us his struggles to make the movie work.

DVD COMMENTARY: ANTZ

Recently I consulted to a team of comedy writers, which was a completely new and refreshing experience to me. As I’m not a comedy expert, I focused on the (lack of) drama in the script and afterwards the writers were happy enough about the outcome to hire me again for a look at the next stage.

Comedies that don’t work often still work on the scene level but they have issues with the overall story arc. Situations and dialogue may be absolutely hilarious. If there’s no dramatic undercurrent, the audience WILL switch off.

I found a quote on the commentary of ANTZ that makes the exact same point about the input from Jeffrey Katzenberg (photo), who was uncredited producer (and the “K” in Dreamworks SKG):

“We added a lot of comedy kind of after the fact. It’s one of the things that Jeffrey Katzenberg really pushes hard: get the drama to work because if you’re rely on the comedy, you’re gonna loose the audience’s interest in the characters. So sure enough we really focused on the drama and afterwards we [...] ended up upping just the silliness of it, the humor of it.”

This charming animation, in which Woody Allen voices the neuroses of the ant “Z”, dates from the turbulent days when Dreamworks went head to head with Disney’s A BUG’S LIFE. Ironically it was Katzenberg who had sealed the deal between Pixar and Disney.

Directors Johnson and Darnell don’t deliver by far the cutthroat commentary we’re used to hear from the Pixar guys, but they do give some insight in their struggles during the development. Notably their work on the character of Princess Bala (Sharon Stone) and her relationship with the protagonist are interesting from a story point of view.