Once you understand how drama functions, you can apply it to EVERY level of the story.

Earlier we have looked at how the Mentor Sequence in The Untouchables was conceived as a mini 3-act story.

Today we’ll go a step further and see how Pixar plays with the Hero’s Journey story stages.

It is no news that the guys at Pixar know their Journey inside out. But you may be surprised to see how accurate the paradigm is followed.

As a matter of fact, by the time we reach the Inciting Incident (Call to Adventure) in Toy Story 2, you will have seen two almost complete hero’s journeys.

Let’s focus on the first one.

The film opens with Buzz Lightyear approaching the planet of the Evil Emperor Zurg.

The following three minutes are a textbook example of the Second Act within the Hero’s Journey, or stages 5 to 9:

5. CROSSING THE THRESHOLD

Buzz enters the atmosphere. He crosses the Threshold into the Special World, which is the planet of Zurg.

Insofar the Crossing of the Threshold symbolises the Hero’s decision to act, this has already happened (in Toy Story 1) as we know what Buzz’s mission is: ‘to defeat the evil emperor Zurg’. In other words: we don’t need to see the scene in which Buzz commits to the journey. We know his character and purpose.

6. TESTS, ALLIES & ENEMIES

Before he embarks on his mission to find Zurg, he has to pass a number of Tests: 1) fly through the belt of asteroids unharmed, 2) land safely and 3) dodge the falling debris.

While he records his mission log (Ally?), he is surrounded by enemy droids (Enemies), protecting Zurg’s stronghold.

The tests continue as we commence the …

7. APPROACH TO THE INMOST CAVE

While Buzz is looking for a way to enter Zurg’s headquarters, a Cave Guardian in the shape of a video camera notices him. Buzz has to eliminate the Guardian before he can proceed.

Now a secret entrance opens up. When Buzz jumps in, he crosses the Second Threshold. The approach continues underground. More tests follow, one of which is the crossing of the abyss (to the tune of Strauss’ Also Sprach Zarathustra, a reference to Kubrick’s 2001).

Now we have a brief scene from Zurg’s POV: “Come to me, my prey!”. This is the ‘antagonist high point’, which always immediately precedes the Hero’s lowest point, i.e. the Ordeal.

9. THE REWARD

In this journey, we see the Reward before the Ordeal: the ‘Source of Zurg’s Power’ – a battery – is floating in a magnetic field. It is clear that this is the item Buzz is after. But first he’ll have to face Zurg….

Note that a similar technique – revealing the Reward before the Ordeal -  is used in The Incredibles, where we see the video projection in the Cave, showing the information the Incredibles need to fight Syndrome in Act Three. But first they have to survive the Ordeal.

8. THE ORDEAL

In the Ordeal, Buzz and Zurg fight. A proper Ordeal confronts the Hero with death. Here it seems frighteningly literal, when Zurg blows off Zurg’s head and torso – a scary image.

The Second Act has come to a down ending, without Buzz reaping the reward. Only now do we enter the real story of Toy Story 2 and realise it was only a video game; a story within the story and and entire Hero’s Journey Act Two in only just over 3 minutes!

So, what’s there to learn?

When beginning writers talk about structure, most of the time they mean the 3-act structure and they don’t get any further than that.

The screenwriting industry is hellishly competitive. I believe it would increase your chances of selling your work or getting a writing job if you understand how you can make stories exciting by using structure creatively WITHIN the Act, the Sequence and the Scene.

Is there a danger that all films will end up the same? It depends on what your criteria are. If you find that all Pixar movies  are the same, then yes. If you find that all Cameron movies are the same, then yes.

Anyhow, the audience doesn’t seem to mind.

Further reading

If you’re ready to do your own analyses, check out Myth & the Movies. In this book, Stuart Voytilla identifies journey stages within 50 major movies of 10 different genres. He drills deeper than just the story level.

Do you know of any other mini-journeys? Share them with us in the comments!

(David Mamet, 1986)

David Mamet has never equaled the tremendous power of his eighties screenplays. The Postman Always Rings Twice, The Verdict, The Untouchables and even his own directorial debut House of Games, starring his then wife Lindsay Crouse.

The Untouchables has always been my favorite. De Palma turned the script into the most cinematic of Mamet’s writing.

SPOILER WARNINGS (ENTIRE ARTICLE)

Based on the 1959 TV series, this crime drama takes place during the Prohibition era. It follows the autobiographical accounts of Eliot Ness, played by Kevin Costner and fellow cop Jim Malone’s (Sean Connery) as they bring down Al Capone, played by the sly Robert DeNiro.

The opening scene features the quote “You can get further with a kind word and a gun than just a kind word.” These were Mamet’s own words, about the tough neighborhood he grew up in.

ACT ONE

SEQUENCE A: The Law of the Land (15mins)

00.00 Titles
02.30 Capone at the barber’s: 1930, Chicago is city at war.
03.00 Guns are necessary but violence is not good business.
05.00 Bomb kills girl at pub that doesn’t buy from Capone. (=Inc.Inc.)

06.30 Ness at home before work. Wife: You’ll make a good 1st impression.
08.00 Ness: Not just a showpiece program. The law of the land.
09.00 Briefing to the flying squad. Stop drinking! Canadian shipment: raid.
10.30 Preparing raid, waiting. Being married. Journo mistaken for gangster.
13.00 Raid fails. Pic with umbrella. (Capone has insider w/ Police =Call to Adventure)

SEQUENCE B: Hiring the Mentor and Allies (20mins)

15.30 Meeting Malone. First rule of law enforcement: go home alive.
19.00 Capone reads the news, satisfied, schadenfreude.
20.30 Dead girl’s mother comes to see him: You will put a stop to them.
22.30 Goes to visit Malone. He refuses the call. Beat cop, how can I help?
24.30 Ness goes home, listen to radio with wife.
25.30 Wallace: no Capone tax return since ‘26. Malone comes in
26.30 Malone comes in. Let’s go; these walls have ears.
27.00 Malone: What are you prepared to do? All the way. The Chicago way.
28.30 Malone: Who can you trust. Afaid of rotten apple? Get it off the tree.
29.30 Shooting gallery: best shot? George Stone. Giuseppe Petri.
32.00 Ready to go to work? Four Untouchables leave Treas. Dept., armed.

33.00 Post Office raid. ‘To cross Capone’. Walk through this door. (=PP1/Crossing the Threshold)
34.30 Debrief with cigars. Saint of the Lost Causes. Photo.

ACT TWO

SEQUENCE C: Defying the enemy (10mins)

35.30 Capone: Baseball speech. Teamwork vs. going alone. Kills gangster.
38.00 Ness home.
39.30 Wallace: All Capone business is legitimate. He has no income.
40.00 John O’Shea. You guys are ‘untouchable’. Is that the thing?
42.00 Nitti: Nice to have a family. Take care nothing happens to them.
42.30 Eliot panics, runs inside.
43.00 Evacuation. / International shipment coming in.
44.30 Wallace: get him on tax evasion. How to link him to the money?

SEQUENCE D: Canadian Border (14mins)

45.30 Briefing at the Canadian border. Take the battle to them.

47.00 Malone’s: Wait and watch. -Are you my tutor? -Yes Sir. That I am.
49.00 Action on the bridge. Watching. Malone: Shoot to kill. Stone: Yes.
50.30 On horses. Early shot. Going in.
53.00 Malone captures gangster with paperwork. Wallace shows courage.
54.00 Ness kills gangster in self-defense. Malone: You rather it was you?
56.00 Questioning prisoner. Wallace has books. Prisoner doesn’t talk.

58.00 Malone shoots body. Mountie objects. Ness: Not from Chicago. (=Mid Point)

SEQUENCE E: Reversal – Touchables (8mins)

59.00 Capone: I want him dead.
59.30 At home. -Are you careful? -As mice. “The man who got Al Capone.”
60.30 Subpoena. Gangster in elevator w/ Wallace. D.I.: Nitti operates lift.
62.00 Ness & Malone: Nice to be married. -If you can stand the pain. Shots.
62.30 Elevator covered in blood: “Touchables.”
65.00 Chief Dorsett: Better not to get involved.

66.00 Ness to Capone’s hotel: Confrontation on the stairs.

SEQUENCE F: Sacrifices (15mins)

67.00 Regrouping. DA drops case without witness. Malone: stall the guy.
70.30 Bookkeeper will be going out of town.
71.00 Malone: need bookkeeper. Chief Dorsett: Dead man talking. Fight.
73.30 Ness stalls the DA.
74.00 Malone calls Stone: my place rightaway. Know where Payne is.
74.30 Capone: Somebody messes with me? I’m gonna mess with him.
75.30 D.I.: Nitti at Malone’s. Malone chases other man. Shot by Nitti.
79.00 Malone dying // Capone at Opera.

80.00 Ness at Malone’s. Train tables. -What are you prepared to do? (PP2/Ordeal)

ACT THREE

SEQUENCE G: The Train Station Steps (10mins)

82.30 Ness & Stone. Train leaving at 12.05h. We’ll be there.
83.00 11.55h Waiting. Woman with pram.
87.30 Ness helps woman. Gangsters appear.
88.30 Shot. Pram goes down. Shootout.

90.30 Mexican standoff. Stone takes out Payne’s guard.

SEQUENCE H: Is that Justice? (15mins)

92.00 Court: Payne admits disbursements to Capone. Nitti has gun.
95.00 Taking Nitti outside. Shoots at cop and runs.

97.00 Chase onto roof. Nitti provokes, Ness pushes. Nitti falls.
102.3 Stone gives Ness list of bribed jury members.
103.0 Judge looks at list. No evidence. Ness talks to judge in private. (=Climax/Resurrection)
104.3 Judge swaps juries. Capone objects. Judge overrules.

105.0 Capone’s lawyer: guilty. Never stop fighting till the fight is done.

Aftermath (4mins)

107.3 Newspaper clippings: “So much violence”.
109.3 Stone gives Ness Malone’s key. -He’d have wanted a cop to have it.
110.3 Journo: Going to repeal prohibition? Ness: Then I’ll have a drink.
111.3 The End.

When I find the time, I will elaborate on the Key Turning Points.

Meanwhile, please give me your feedback in the comments as I’m in two minds about the Inciting Incident / Call to Adventure. If the bomb explosion is the Inciting Incident, technically the mother of the child would be the Herald, calling Ness to his journey. On the other hand, it’s really when Ness realises the police is not to be trusted that he reverts to his Mentor for advice, which will lead him to the journey.

I know all of this is academic and the first act works a treat because it’s clear the odds are stacking up against Ness in a big way; his world is not as rosy and controllable as he thought it were.

The device of the photographs to emphasise important moments lures me into thinking these are really the key turning points. In this case, the Inciting Incident and the Call to Adventure are one and the same: the moment Ness realises he’s looking like a fool with that umbrella and he needs to do something about it.

Your feedback, please!

(with thanks to Solmaaz Yazdiha)

See also:

• The Untouchables – The Mid Point(s)
• The Untouchables – Hiring the Mentor
  

Here’s my weekly selection from the blogosphere. Feel free to recommend anything or give your feedback in the Questions and Comments below.

And don’t forget you can subscribe to our posts so you don’t miss any of this, ever.

• Screenwriting Expo – Report on Day 1 (by James Nicholas)
• Alexandra beat me to it on the 3-Act, 8-Sequence structure.
• There’s this structural formula for movies. It works. But why?
• Bollywood: Big audiences … and stories they want to see.
• Lantern gone. Time to focus on local mainstream flicks, NSW!
• Is cult film dead? If so, who killed it?
• Screenwriters are earning less. It’s not simply the economy.
• 1st Lesson: A simple overview of the 12 Hero’s Journey Stages.
• Story is about problems. Like news only reports bad things.
• In his old age, Coppola has become a whinger. Get with it dude!
• Some scribes write really dense tech talk, and get away with it.
• Why should you consider writing low budget stories?
• Last year’s Black List: Scripts now all available for download.
• When a goat is just a goat. About useless, ego maniac teachers.
• You’re a competition 1/4 finalist. Should you brag about it?

COMING SOON to the Story Department:

• Raindance Film Fest wrapped. A director reports.
• Structural breakdown of THE UNTOUCHABLES
• Paul Gulino: Screenwriting, the Deadline Approach.

Enjoy!

Karel

It took me a while to appreciate this gem by Akiva Goldsman and directed by Ron Howard. Not sure why.

The film won four Academy Awards, including Best Picture, so I had a good reason for looking into it.

Screenwriter Goldsman had a personal attachment to the material. He created a method for training mental health workers and his parents had established a home for emotionally disturbed children.

“For me the source was both the biography and John Nash. I wanted to feel what I thought was the truth of those two objects.” -Akiva Goldsman

I watched the film to study its Point of View. I learned a lot more. To me this film is about a journey from hubris to humility. In Akiva Goldsman’s story, the character of John Nash is a man obsessed by the genius of the mind, who learns to appreciate the genius of the heart.

ACT ONE

SEQUENCE A: Hubris and Truly Unique Ideas. (15mins)

00.00    TITLES
01.30    Princeton ‘47. Mathematicians! Who’s the next Einstein?
02.30    John Nash, the mysterious West-Virginian mathematician.
05.00    Surprise – a roommate: drunk Charles Herman.
07.00    Drinking with Charles: I want to find truly original idea.
08.30    Extract algorythm from pigeons. Plays ‘Go’ with Martin.
09.30     Angry at loss: Hubris! Cynically: “The great John Nash”
11.00    Onto something: what if nobody loses? Charles: eat!
12.30    Billiards, approaches girl too directly. Gets slap in the face.
14.30    Mid-year review: no placement. Witnesses pen ceremony.

The sequence opens with Nash’s objective to find a truly original idea. His attitude to his fellow students may seem shy, but it’s clearly arrogant (his flaw). He considers himself superior to the others, those ‘hacks’. The sequence ends on the Inciting Incident: He’s been told he desperately needs to show results or he’s out.

SEQ. B: Governing Dynamics – Opportunity calls (11mins)

16.30    Desperate for new idea. Charles throws desk out.
18.30    Blonde in bar – Governing dynamics: Adam Smith was wrong!
21.00    In room, working on new theory.
21.30    Professor acknowledges breakthrough: any placement OK.
23.00    Celebration, with Sol & Bender. Martin toasts, too.
24.00    ’53 Pentagon: summoned to decode Russion transmissions.
26.00    Decodes, poses too many questions, asked to leave.

As a result of his academic breakthrough, Nash is asked to help the Pentagon with their code decyphering. It tickles his interest and he wants to know more.

SEQ. C: Hubris Challenged: the Call of Romance (9mins)

27.00    Sol & Bender. Cover of fortune. Supposed to be just ME!
29.00    Teaching – Alicia stands out: her solution to heat & noise.
31.00    Night. Parcher. “What can I do for the Dept. of Defense?”
32.30    Crossing Threshold, into codebreaker labs in warehouses.
35.00    They implant ‘radium diode’ in his arm. Am I now a spy?

By crossing the threshold, John is now a major player in the Government’s attempts to locate and stop the Russian transport of a nuclear bomb.  His pride and arrogance hasn’t faltered as is clear from his behaviour among Sol & Bender. Now John’s mission is clear, we’re ready to go into Act II.

ACT TWO

SEQ. C: A World of Mystery and Imagination (11mins)

36.00    Alicia in his office to ask him out for dinner.
39.00    Party: sees suspicious men. Goes outside with Alicia.
41.00    ‘A pair of odd ducks’. Shows her an umbrella shape in stars.
42.30    Codes everywhere, compiles data & prepares envelope.
44.00    Delivers envelope with secret data to mail box.
45.00    Picnic w/ Alicia, is being direct. They kiss.

The love subplot is set up, advanced and John is successful in keeping the two worlds separate.

SEQ. D: Two conflicting journeys (17mins)

47.00    Charles introduces Marcee. Marry Alicia… How to know?
49.30    Late for Alicia’s birthday dinner. He proposes to her.
52.00    Wedding – Parcher is there, too.
53.00    Picked up by Parcher – Chase and gun fight.
55.00    Home. Doesn’t talk to Alicia.
56.30    Acts paranoid in class: sees men outside, stalking him.
57.00    Complains to Parcher: “not what I signed up for!”
57.30    Alicia is pregnant. Parcher: Help or Russians after you.
59.00    Night at home: tells Alicia to go to sister’s. Not safe.
60.00    Nat. Math Conf.: Charles there with Marcee for lecture.
61.00    Men come in during lecture, John escapes, chase.
62.00    Rosen, psychiatrist, introduces himself. John escapes.
63.00    Taken away by Rosen and his men, screaming “Russians!”

It becomes harder and harder for John to manage his paranoia and his relationships start to suffer. At the conference he drops the ball completely and the public humiliation is a turning point: it has now become a medical issue.

MID SEQ.: Alicia’s POV – Gaining awareness. (14mins)

64.00    At hospital with Rosen. “Tell me who you see.”
66.30    Rosen explains to Alicia about imaginary Herman.
69.00    Alicia visits John’s office, sees evidence of madness.
70.00    Alicia visits the house with mysterious mail box.
71.00    Alicia visits John in hospital; envelopes unopened.
74.30    John cut wrists: implant is gone.
75.00    Rosen: schizophrenia. 10wks of shock treatment.

Now we know that John’s perception is unreliable, his POV no longer functions as that of the protagonist. Therefore we shift to the next – reliable – character with the greatest emotional objective: Alicia. We’ll stay within her POV until John has a plan again.

SEQ. E: No meds: sliding back into darkness. (13mins)

77.30    One year later. Alicia & Sol. How are you coping?
79.00    Sol: Other things besides work. John: What are they?
81.30    John holding baby, deflated. Alicia takes him away.
82.30    Alicia: talk to people. Take out the garbage.
83.00    Talking to who? -Garbage man. -Not at night. -Here they do.
84.00    Rejecting Alicia in bed. She breaks down.
86.00    Alicia works overtime.
86.30    Not taking his medicine. Hallucinates again: Parcher.
88.30    Shed w/ equipment. To Parcher: Was scared you weren’t real.

SEQ. F: At the lowest point – seeing the truth. (12mins)

90.00    Storm coming: Alicia goes into the shed. Clippings…
91.30    John nearly drowns the baby. “Charles was watching!”
93.00    Alicia calls Rosen. John hurts her. Parcher: Finish her!
94.00    Marcee can’t be real. She never gets old!
95.00    Rosen: Why did you stop meds? Get treatment or gets worse.
97.00    Commitment papers. -Rosen was right: I’m not safe anymore.
99.00    Rosen leaves. Alicia: I need something extraordinary.

ACT THREE

SEQ. H: Working it out (14mins)

101.3    Princeton, 2mnths later: Martin. Work out of the library.
105.0    Going nuts in library w/ Parcher. Martin stands up for him.
106.0    Alicia: Stress triggers it. Try again tomorrow.
107.0    Farewell to Charles & Marcee.
108.0    Audit class. 1st class.
108.3    Working in library. Ignores Charles.
109.0    Students make fun of John, he ignores them.
109.3    John with son.
110.0    Teaching, Parcher still around, Marcee too.
111.0    ’78: Progress. Toby presents his theory. John offers food.
113.0    Alicia & Martin see John in his element, with students.
113.3    I might teach. Terrible! Maybe Spring. Playing Go.

SEQ. I: Return with the Elixir (8 mins)

115.0    After class: considered for Nobel Prize. Let’s have  tea.
117.0    Concerned about image of Nobel Prize. I am crazy. Pens!
120.0    12/94 Ceremony Stockholm. Speech for Alicia. All my reasons.
122.3    Ready to leave. Ignores the delusions.
123.3    THE END

The greatest challenge for writer Goldsman must have been to make the identification with a schizophrenic work. Any mainstream audience will instinctively resist this.

To compensate, Goldsman sets up John as a brilliant mind with a number of objectives that keep us going until the Mid Point. Then, his disease can no longer be ignored and his POV has become unreliable.

At this point, showing his craftsmanship, Goldsman shifts the POV to the sane person closest to John: his wife.  She now has the most powerful objective: to get her husband back.

The sequence continues until John has gained awareness about his condition and is committed to do something about it.   After the next sequence’s opening scene – 1 year later – we move back into his POV.

I’ve been a big Pixar fan since stupidly missing out on the theatrical run of The Incredibles.

In 2008 the festival potential of my own short animation Tin Can Heart – wr/dir. by Rod March – vaporised when Wall-E appeared weeks after the completion of our film. The similarities were striking…

Still, I was pleased to see we were thinking along the same lines of the master storytellers of Pixar.

I’ve seen UP twice now and I find it thematically one of the most powerful movies of recent times.

Perhaps it resonates with me because I feel I’m at the Mid Point of my own life.

“A life, Jimmy, you know what that is? It’s the shit that happens while you’re waiting for moments that never come.” – Freamon (From: The Wire)

SPOILER ALERT – FULL STORY ANALYSIS

What follows is a rough but complete analysis, based on notes made in the dark of the cinema. Not all turned out legible afterwards…

At the bottom of this post I touch briefly on the Inciting Incident (I.I.) or Call to Adventure of UP.

Here’s another great movie that seems to fit itself wonderfully into an eigh-sequence Hero’s Journey.

Enjoy!

A. Prologue: Dreaming of Adventure (10mins)

00.00 TITLES
01.30 Little Carl in cinema: ‘Spotlight on adventure!’
02.00 Explorer Muntz found to be cheating.
02.30 Muntz off to capture the monster & clear his name.
03.30 Carl follows a girl’s voice into a house.
04.30 Ellie: You & me are in a club together now! Badge.
05.00 Getting the balloon down – Carl falls…
05.30 Carl in bed – a  balloon with a message floats in.
06.00 Ellie’s Adventure Book: I’m going where he’s going…
07.00 Carl & Ellie are getting married.

08.30 Ellie wants lots of children but can’t have any.
09.00 Saving up for the trip. Misfortune keeps striking.
10.00 Carl sees Ellie’s childhood photo, time is passing.
10.30 Carl buys plane tickets; Ellie gets sick & passes away.

ACT ONE

B. Ordinary Life in an Ordinary World (10mins)

11.30 Carl’s life alone: daily routine.
13.30 House is surrounded by a building site.
14.00 Mail: ‘Shady Oaks’ retirement village.
15.00 “You can have my house when I’m dead!”
15.30 Russell knocks: Need assistance today?
17.00 Carl sends him off: Find the snipe. -I’ll find it!
17.30 Mailbox damaged: Carl injures a man with his cane. (I.I.)
18.30 Court summons: ‘Shady Oaks’ guys will pick you up.
19.00 Carl is packing. Crosses his heart.
20.30 Meet you in a minute: a last goodbye.
21.00 Balloons: UP (PP1 – Crossing the Threshold)

Threshold Seq.: Up & away to South America (7mins)

21.30 House takes off: Postcard from Paradise Falls!
22.00 Flying through the city.
24.00 Knocking – Russell: “Please let me in”

25.30 Russell steering – sees cumulo-nimbus… 26.30 Storm, causing damage. Carl knocked out.

ACT TWO

C. Moving House across the plateau (12mins)

28.30 Carl wakes up. Russell: I thought you were dead!
29.30 Descending, landing the house in the fog.
31.00 Fog clears: Paradise Falls on the other side!
33.00 I’ll assist you over there. Only 3 days of helium.

34.30 Dogs POV, after bird. Hearing aid noise stops them.
35.30 Russell’s wilderness toilet: dig hole before or after?
36.30 Russell has found the snipe – does it like chocolate?
37.30 Bird likes Russell. Russell wants to keep it: ‘Kevin’.

D. Dug and other dogs (9mins)

40.00 Voice: Are you OK over there? Dug.
41.00 Dog is trained. Speak! “Hi there.”
42.30 Other dogs and Alpha dog
44.30 Muntz: locate them. The dogs leave.
45.00 Trying to get rid of the bird: escape.
46.30 Setting up the tent in the rain.
47.30 Russell tells of his absent father and foster mum.

E. Entering the Spirit of Adventure (12mins)

49.00 Kevin calling (can’t read my notes ;)
50.30 Kevin back with the dogs
52.30 Carl & Russell surrounded by dogs – Muntz
54.30 Muntz: no longer intruders; guests

55.00 The Spirit of Adventure zeppelin
55.30 The museum
56.30 Dinner served.
57.00 They called me a fraud: bring the creature home.
58.30 Russell talks about his bird.
59.00 Muntz sees the bird.
60.00 Dessert. Kevin calls from the house.

F. Muntz goes after Kevin (12mins)

61.00 Muntz sends dogs after Kevin. Chase.
63.00 Kevin injured, his chicks are calling.
65.30 Russell: boring stuff I remember the most.
66.30 Kevin caught, Muntz sets fire to the house.
67.30 The dogs take Kevin.
68.00 Russell: You gave away Kevin!
69.00 Carl pulls house to Pacific Falls.
70.00 Russell throws his badges in the sand.
70.30 House stuck. Carl goes inside, memories.
71.00 Finds entries in Book of Adventure.
72.00 Ellie’s photos: her life was an adventure.

ACT THREE

G. Climax: Carl vs. Charles (12mins)

73.30 Russell on leafblower to rescue Kevin.
74.00 Carl throws old stuff out to get the house flying.
74.30 Flying again.
75.00 Dug: “hiding under the porch because I love you.”
76.30 The dogs have Russell “small mail man”.
77.00 Russell to be kicked out, Carl saves him.
78.00 On board, past the dogs, find Kevin.
78.30 Distracting the dogs: Carl throws the ball.
79.00 Russell falls.
80.00 Dogs attack in planes.

80.30 Charles attacks Carl with the sword. 81.00 Carl escapes with Kevin.
82.00 Alpha dog caught. Dug is now Alpha Dog.
82.30 Fighter pilot dogs distracted: “Squirrel!”
83.30 Carl, Dug & Russell on top of the zeppelin.
84.00 Muntz attacks with gun.
85.00 Muntz falls to his death.
85.30 ” Just a house.” Descending into the clouds.

H. Return with the Elixir (3mins)

86.00 Kevin reunited with her chicks.
87.00 Our friends flying the zeppelin.

87.30 Explorers’ Graduation.
88.30 Zeppelin parked for icecream.
89.00 The house has landed on Pacific Falls.
THE END.

NOTES ON ACT ONE

UP has a classic 3-Act structure Hero’s Journey. The only journey stage that may not be immediately clear is the Inciting Incident (Call to Adventure).

What is the Inciting Incident (I.I.) in UP?

If the Adventure is the trip to Paradise Falls, then the strongest Call is surely Ellie’s “I’m going where he’s going”.

However, this is not the trigger to the story of UP. It only triggers the Prologue journey – thank you James – leading to Carl’s WOUND: at the end of this (seemingly) failed journey, Carl Fredricksen is a jaded senior, frustrated because his desire for adventure has ultimately left him alone, disappointed and unfulfilled. He is doomed to spend the rest of his life without longing, without passion for anything. Because passion will lead to disappointment.

This frustration over the things he never did is Carl’s flaw, the weakness he needs to overcome.

To understand the true Call to Adventure, let’s see in what way Carl’s Ordinary World is a fragile equilibrium. Then, the Call to Adventure (or I.I.) is the collapse of this untenable situation.

The one shot that shows the fragile equilibrium is the zoom out from Carl’s front porch to show the building site surrounding the house. Once we know that Carl will only give up his house over his dead body, we understand that something major is waiting to happen here.

The first event heralding the call to adventure is the brochure for the ‘Shady Oaks’ retirement village.

It reminds Carl that his time is running out and he needs to act now if he wants to do something with his life. But this is not the type of incident that immediately changes his life irreversibly.

So Carl refuses the call until a stronger Inciting Incident happens: a truck backs into his mailbox and causes a continuous series of consequences, leading to Carl’s decision to finally depart to South America.

It means that Russell comes knocking on Carl’s door at the exact moment in the story when we’re expecting the Mentor to turn up. Is Russell the mentor? It’s an ironic reversal of the archetypes but I think he is a combination of the Reflection character and the Mentor.

What are your thoughts on the story of UP? Please comment below!

Here is some awesome stuff for the fans of the UP artwork.

Did you see UP in 2D or 3D? Which do you prefer? Vote here.

Since writing the below post, I have come to realise that the mid point may well be the last checkpoint to make sure you have the most powerful story you can get.

I believe the mid point can only exist if everything else works. Without knowing exactly what the outer objective is (Turning Point 1) and how the character changes (Turning Point 2) it is impossible to create the right mid point. The mid point changes the direction of the visible goal (Outer Journey), sometimes it completely changes the goal altogether. It also accelerates the Inner Journey as the protagonist is now committed to resolving the Need.

I have added some notes on THE INCREDIBLES and THE LIVES OF OTHERS to the examples below.

Many unsuccessful movies run out of steam halfway. Even a fair few memorable pics are weak in the middle, or have a ’soft belly’. The Second Act seems to be the hardest nut to crack. But why? Perhaps because the protagonist is chasing the same objective all along? After all we have a massive chunk of script to fill, about an hour of screentime on average. One remedy is to chop the movie up in quarters. First and last act are roughly one quarter each already, so Act Two we just cut in two.

It’s variously called the mid-act climax, the mid-point, first culmination or the mid-point reversal. I prefer the latter, although it is not always a strict 180 degree turn. It doesn’t necessarily have to be a climax either but it must be a ‘major turning point’. Things will be dramatically different from this point onwards.

Syd Field describes it something like this: “An important scene in the middle of the script, often a reversal of fortune or revelation that changes the direction of the story.” Field suggests that driving the story towards the Midpoint keeps the second act from sagging. For once I find Field more helpful than others. An executive at the talent agency ICM is trying to get his head around it:

“An event occurs wherein the character cannot give up his pursuit. It is a “no turning back point.” The bridge has been burned behind him (figuratively speaking), and he can only move forward. Often, this is manifested as a TICKING CLOCK. In classically structure (sic) romantic comedies, this is the point where the man and woman sleep together.” Hmmm… Not sure about that last one.

Here’s my favourite definition, from Frank Daniel:

“Mid-Point or First Culmination: a Major Reversal of fortune, making Main Character’s task even more difficult. Often, give the audience a very clear glimpse of an answer to the Central Dramatic Question “‘ the hope that Main Character will actually succeed at resolving his problem “‘ only to see circumstances turn the story the other way. First Culmination may be a glimpse at the actual resolution of the picture, or its mirror opposite.”

Let’s look at a few examples to understand the mid point better:

THE UNTOUCHABLES – Not only a well-structured, commercial movie with a top notch cast; it has a midpoint that ticks all three boxes: After a shootout on the Canadian border far away from the crime-ridden streets of Chicago, Eliot Ness and his team find out they can get to Capone through his accountant.

The mid-point sequence happens halfway the movie (ironically, not all midpoints really do), it changes the course of the story (Ness is no longer after Capone but after his accountant) and it takes place in a very different environment/change of scenery from the rest of the movie. And indeed: catching the accountant does get Capone in court. Important for the Inner Journey at this point is Ness’ response to the criticism on the way Malone forces a confession out of one of Capone’s men. When he says “Well, you’re not from Chicago”, it proves Ness is now open to approaching things ‘the Chicago Way’, as taught by his mentor Malone.

JAWS – It’s more than thirty years old and scary as ever, and not because of its state-of-the-art FX. Look closely and you’ll see: that plastic shark is a big joke! This is one piece of brilliant writing. Police Chief Brody (Roy Scheider) has been unsuccessful in trying to stop the shark killings by urging the mayor to close the beaches. When his own son narrowly escapes death, he is forced to change tactics (different direction): he must go and attack the shark in its own habitat. It brings a fresh turn to the movie with a change of scenery and the stakes are heightened because we are now fighting the killer on his own territory. What’s more: the protagonist is under greater jeopardy because he can’t swim. At Brody’s Inner Journey mid point, he is committed to tackle things at the core in stead of dealing with the symptoms. See also my notes at the bottom of the structural overview of Jaws.

ONE FLEW OVER THE CUCKOO’S NEST – In his book THE SEQUENCE APPROACH, Paul Gulino mentions another function of the midpoint: it gives the protagonist a flavour of the possible outcome of the story (Frank Daniel’s “glimpse of an answer to the Central Dramatic Question“). Here, Nicholson’s character tastes freedom when he takes the patients out on a trip. The reality however is that after this point he learns he may never leave the asylum again. A powerful reversal: rather than proving he’s insane, he now has to try and get out. The scene/sequence of the mad men’s outing is another beautiful example of a change of scenery. At one stage during the edit, director Milos Forman cut the sequence out. About the result he says: “I cut it down television style, under two hours. And you know what was funny? It felt much longer.”

I wouldn’t necessarily call the following movies class examples but I’ll give them any way because their mid-points worked really well for me:

THE PARALLAX VIEW – Bang in the middle of this classic conspiracy thriller, Warren Beatty’s character undergoes a five minute brainwashing. The scene is borderline unbearable and would have probably been cut by today’s studio heads. We undergo the character’s psychological torture first hand while we stare at the seemingly random images, exactly like the protagonist experiences them. After this, Beatty’s character is no longer the curious outsider vs. the mysterious corporation; he is fighting the system from within, which will ultimately lead to his demise.

GIU LA TESTA (A FISTFUL OF DYNAMITE) – Very much like in THE PARALLAX VIEW, we share the point of view of Rod Steiger’s character Juan while he watches what will cause a major change in his personality and in the course of the movie. At the very midpoint in the movie Juan witnesses a lengthy, traumatic shootout with a life-changing effect: from a mindless and merciless robber dreaming of the ultimate big heist he has now become a freedom fighter and finally commits to the cause of his alter-ego Sean (incarnated wonderfully by James Coburn).

THE QUEEN – The Queen is stuck in the lonely hills near Balmoral, her Land Rover having let her down. Without help from anybody she is out of her comfort zone when she notices the dear her grandsons have been stalking, upon her own advice and encouragement. A moment of realisation (with a lot of symbolism) leads to the decision to chase the dear away in an attempt to save its life from the hunters. The parallel with Princess Diana’s end becomes even more apparent when it turns out the deer was shot by a group of hunters after a chase on a neighbouring land (France?). The Queen has witnessed something that has changed her view and we see it externalised in her lukewarm response to the Queen Mother’s statements about the British people in a following scene.

NORTH BY NORTHWEST – The single most memorably scene of this film sits right in the very middle: the famous cropduster scene. Again, an entirely new setting in the movie, with hardly any other characters around. While most of the movie is rather talky, this sequence offers pure visual cinema with minimal sound design, then gradually picking up the pace and finally (literally) exploding in a symphony of action and music. The reversal: Roger Thornhill learns that Eve has betrayed him.

THE INCREDIBLES – Mister Incredible has successfully completed the task he travelled to the Special World for: eliminating the evil robot. Now, for the first time he is about to meet with his employer.

The reversal happens when his mission turns out to have been a setup to get him killed. The employer is effectively his arch-enemy Syndrome and the mid point delivers two major reversals: 1) in stead of staying on the island, he will have to escape 2) in stead of working alone, he’ll have to collaborate with his family.

THE LIVES OF OTHERS – In the first half of this 2007 Oscar winning drama, Captain Wiesler tries to expose the suspected playwright Dreyer to satisfy his superior at the Stasi (the former Eastern German State Security Service). While listening to a phone call, he learns that Dreyers best friend and mentor has committed suicide. Wiesler realises his work is not doing the good he had always believed it would. He is effectively killing people. When Dreyer plays the piano music he received as a gift from his mentor, Wiesler is so moved that he decides to not expose but protect Dreyer from this point on. To my taste, this is one of the most wonderful and moving mid points in cinema in recent years.

In my earlier blog “STRUCTURING THE FACTS” I briefly mention the midpoint reversal in UNITED 97: The passengers learn this is a suicide flight, therefore they have to change their tactics from trying to notify their relatives on the ground to actively fight back the terrorists.

The first film of the extraordinarily successful Indiana Jones quadrilogy, created by Spielberg and Lucas, the greatest filmmakers of their generation.

A timeless piece of of the very best entertainment. This is your typical Hero’s Journey and an excellent starting point for screen story study. Did I mention it is also great fun?

ACT ONE

Sequence A

00.00  Jungle Explorers, being followed.
04.00 Indiana Jones and Satipo enter the cave.
05.00 They find Forestal impaled but continue.
06.00 Indy avoids traps to take the little statue.
08.00 They escape from the cave, Indy is betrayed by Satipo.
09.30 Arriving outside, Indy is surrounded by Belloq and his men.
10.00 Indy manages to escape Belloq, he runs towards the water.
11.00 Indy boards the seaplane, in mid-air he finds the pilot’s snake.

Sequence B

12.30 Indy teaches, the girls are adoring him. Marcus enters.
15.00 Visitors tell the Nazis have found Tannis, are now onto the Ark.
19.30 Marcus got Indy the job, he needs Abner, wonders about Marion.
21.30 Indy boards a plane, but is followed (DI)
22.30 Nepal: Marion in drinking contest. (POV)
24.00 Marion: Abner’s dead. She will give Indy the bronze medallion.
28.00 Nazis come in, claim what Indy wanted, threaten Marion. (POV)
30.00 Indy comes to the rescue, fire. “I’m your goddamn partner.”

ACT TWO A

Sequence C

32.30” ‘Cairo, Sallah as ally, tells about Belloq who found the chamber.
35.00” ‘Monkey runs off to the Nazis (DI)
36.30” ‘They’re attacked, but Jones fights them off, Marion abducted.
39.30” ‘Indy chases the basket, it goes on a truck, which explodes.
40.30” ‘Indy mournes Marion; Belloq: “I’m a shadowy reflection of you.”
44.00” ‘Indy saved by kids & Sallah, followed by man w/ eye patch (DI).
45.00” ‘Sallah saves Indy from poisoned dates: Nazis in the wrong place.

Sequence D

47.30 Nazis are impatient, tell Belloq they want results. (POV)
48.00 Indy and Sallah approach the site.
49.00 Indy descends into the chamber, light beam; Sallah taken away.
53.00 Indy gets out, finds Marion but leaves her.
54.00 Indy finds the place of the Ark.

ACT TWO B

Sequence E

54.30 Belloq and the Nazis (POV)
55.00 Indy starts digging, a storm brews.
58.00 Indy opens the cave, finds a snake pit.
58.30 Belloq releases Marion, gives her a dress to wear //
60.30 Indy descends, burns snakes // Marion drinks // Indy & Sallah find Ark.

65.30 Marion is sober, takes knife, stopped by Nazis.
66.00 Indy and Sallah carry the Ark, lift it out.

Sequence F

67.30 Belloq notices the digging, alerts all.
68.00 Nazis take Ark out, throw Marion in and close the cave.
70.00 Indy and Marion argue in the snake pit, finally break through a wall.
72.30 They find an escape to the side.
73.00 Indy climbs the monowing plane and fights a guard.
75.00 Marion jumps in but Indy rescues her before it explodes.
78.00 Indy hears the Ark is on a truck for Cairo. Makes it up as he goes.

ACT THREE

Sequence G

79.00 Indy on a horse, following the truck.
81.00 Indy boards the truck, overpowers driver and takes over.
85.00 Indy drives truck into town, it is hidden from the Nazis.
86.00 They celebrate with Sallah before boarding the ship with Katanga.
88.00 On the boat, Indy and Marion kiss.

Sequence H

90.00 Engines have stopped, German submarine enters.
91.00 The Germans take the cargo and Marion.
93.00 Jones climbs on board the submarine.
94.00 Jones follows the Ark from the islan submarine base onto the island.
96.30 After a standoff, Jones has to give in.
100.0 Belloq initiates a ceremony that calls in the spirits who kill the Nazis.
104.0 Indy and Marion are free, all Nazis have disappeared.

Sequence I

104.3 Washington DC: Indy is unhappy “Top Men are working on it.”
105.3 Indy and Marion off to have a drink.
106.0 Ark is stored as “Top Secret – Army Intel”

Full Synopsis:

ACT I

In the spring of 1936 an exploration party penetrates thick jungle on the South American continent. When the group’s leader stops to examine map fragments, another of the group pulls a gun. The leader, hearing the click as the turncoat chambers a round, pulls out a bullwhip and disarms the man, sending him fleeing back through the jungle. Thus does Dr. Henry “Indiana” Jones, Jr. (Harrison Ford) stay alive.

Indy and his remaining companion enter a dank and oppressively vast cave, where a competitor of his, Forrestal, disappeared. Inside the cave are several traps rigged by the ancient people who hid a small, valuable statue there — and one of the traps is found to have snared Forrestal. The two men find and retrieve the statue, but the cave is rigged to collapse when the statue is moved. Indy barely escapes the cave, while his companion betrays him and is killed trying to escape.

Seemingly safe, Indy is cornered by the Hovitos, the local tribe, who are led by Dr. Rene Belloq (Paul Freeman), an arrogant French archaeologist who is a longtime rival and enemy of Indy’s. Indy flees and is rescued by Jock (Fred Sorenson), flying a seaplane, though Indy isn’t pleased to find Jock’s pet snake Reggie inside.

Back stateside, Indy teaches an archeology class and is still upset over the loss of the statue, which he surmises Belloq is taking to Marrakesh; he has found pieces he feels will pay for a trip to Marrakesh to find Belloq, but Indy’s friend Marcus Brody (Denholm Elliott) dashes that hope by informing him that two Army Intelligence officers want to talk to him about Abner Ravenwood, his former teacher, who was his friend until Indy broke up with his daughter, Marion (Karen Allen).

The Army officers are concerned because they’ve intercepted a German cable concerning a mammoth archaeological dig in the Egyptian desert. When they read the cable, Indy and Marcus realize the Nazis have discovered Tanis, an ancient city buried in a gigantic sandstorm in 980 B.C. and the possible burial site of the Ark of the Covenant. The Ark was built by ancient Hebrews to hold the stone tablets on which Moses inscribed the Ten Commandments. It holds immense mystical power — enough to allow the Nazis to level mountains and lay waste to entire regions.

Indy flies to Nepal (followed by a Nazi agent, Toht (Ronald Lacey)) to confront Marion Ravenwood, who runs a restaurant and bar (and who can outdrink anyone) because he needs the headpiece to the Staff of Ra, whose crystals will allow him to determine the exact location of the Ark. Marion, still bitter over their breakup, nonetheless accepts when Indy offers her $3,000 and the promise of more when they return stateside. She is cryptic about the headpiece, and after Indy leaves she ponders it as she wears it around her neck.

Toht and several Sherpa heavies enter the bar and hold Marion hostage, with Toht ready to torture her for the headpiece. Indy returns and a firefight erupts during which the fireplace is dislodged and the building begins burning down. Toht finds the headpiece but when he grabs it he’s badly burned — leaving an image of one side of the headpiece branded on his hand. He escapes while Indy and Marion do likewise

ACT IIa

Indy and Marion fly to Egypt to see Indy’s pal, Sallah (John Rhys-Davies), who is working on the Nazi site and who reveals that the Nazis are aided by a French archaeologist (Belloq).

Later, while shopping at a Cairo bazaar, Indy and Marion are attacked by sword-wielding Arabs working for Nazi agents. Indy fights them off but in the confusion Marion is trapped in a large basket and taken by two of the terrorists. The effort to track her down is held up by a man brandishing a sword in intimidating fashion. The swordsman is shot down in short order by a thoroughly unimpressed Indy.

Soon Indy spots a basket carried to a truck filled with explosives and is fired on by a submachine-gun-wielding assailant. His Nazi commander orders the Arabs to take off, but Indy shoots them and the truck crashes, exploding and destroying the basket.

Disconsolate over losing Marion, Indy drowns his sorrows in drink but is met by more Nazi agents who escort him to a table at which is seated Belloq, who gleefully talks about finding the Ark. Indy, no longer caring whether he lives or dies, reaches for his sidearm as Arabs inside pull rifles — only to see Sallah’s large brood of children rush in and the “Arabs” to turn out to be US Marines, much to the embarassment of Belloq.

Sallah takes Indy to see a shaman who is reading the Ra headpiece after both men have learned that Belloq and his Wehrmacht aide, Colonel Dietrich (Wolf Kahler), have obtained a copy of the headpiece. (Neither man is aware that it is a duplicate traced from Toht’s burned hand.) The shaman reveals two critical facts: first, that the headpiece gives the precise height of the Staff of Ra, and second, that the staff the Nazis used was too long — so their excavation is over a mile away from the Ark’s actual burial site, which is known as the Well of Souls.

Infiltrating the mammoth site, Indy is lowered into an underground maproom containing a precisely detailed miniature of the city. Using the Ra headpiece, he identifies the precise location of the Well of Souls. Sneaking further around the gigantic camp, Indy is shocked to find Marion, alive but bound and gagged. Indy starts to free her, but when she reveals that the Nazis keep asking about him and what he knows, he realizes he can’t cut her loose without revealing his presence to the Nazis.

Late that afternoon Indy and Sallah sneak a digging party of their own to the actual location of the Well of Souls.

ACT IIb

Late into the night they dig open the chamber, and to Indy’s horror it is filled with dangerous snakes. Indy clears an area of snakes with burning torches, then lowers himself into the chamber and burns many of the snakes alive with flaming gasoline. Sallah follows and the two eventually find the gigantic chest that is the Ark.

By now it is dawn, and only now does Belloq notice the commotion a mile away. The Nazis surround the site and Indy is left trapped inside, but Dietrich leaves him with something else — Marion, who is thrown into the chamber and the area closed off.

Indy notices a wall where snakes are entering. He climbs a mammoth statue and with all his might breaks it from its foundation and it crashes through the wall. The two find an opening to the surface, and discover the airfield at the excavation camp, where there is a bizarre Nazi transport plane. The two sneak up to the plane, but Indy is attacked by a mechanic and a prolonged fight ensues that is joined by a burly Nazi who pummels Indy before being punched backward and shredded to bits by the plane’s propellers. Marion seizes one of the plane’s machine guns and opens fire on Nazi soldiers, in the process setting a fuel dump aflame. The fire destroys the area and the plane explodes, but Indy and Marion escape.

Dietrich orders his men to transport the Ark by truck to Cairo. When Sallah finds Indy and Marion, he is overjoyed they’re alive and tells them of Dietrich’s plan.

ACT III

Indy takes a horse and pursues the convoy, seizing the truck containing the Ark and surviving a brutal chase and fight with Nazi soldiers to drive the Ark to safety.

He and Marion board a ship taking the Ark back to the US, but a Nazi submarine captures the ship. The Ark is taken aboard the sub and Marion taken prisoner for Belloq. Indy, however, escapes Nazi pursuit and rides the submarine as it sails on the ocean surface to an island where Belloq and the Nazis trek to the top of a mountain.

Indy has grabbed a rocket launcher and intercepts Belloq, vowing to blow up the Ark unless Marion is freed. But Belloq calls Indy’s bluff, knowing Indy wants to know what the Ark contains as much as anyone. Indy finds he can’t carry out his threat, and is seized.

At an elaborate ceremony atop the mountain Indy and Marion, tied to a pole, can only watch as the Ark is opened, but it contains nothing but sand, the remains of the stone tablets. No sooner is it opened, however, than its spirits suddenly appear. Indy and Marion, remembering an ancient code that requires people to close their eyes and not look at the now-freed spirits, withstand the mayhem that ensues as the energy of the Ark surges forth and its spirits attack the now-terrified Nazis, killing the entire contingent and destroying Belloq in gruesome fashion. The energy mass surges high into the sky before returning to the Ark and resealing it, leaving Indy and Marion drained but freed.

Weeks later Indy and Marcus feud with the Army officers over the whereabouts of the Ark, Indy angry that the Army has no idea what it has in the Ark — though it appears they in fact do understand what they have, as the Ark is sealed in a large crate and stored anonymously in a gigantic government warehouse, never to be seen again.

Full synopsis courtesy of IMDb.

A cult comic, two charismatic teen actresses, an inspired director and a sparse score. Only six pages of still pictures were turned into one of the coolest movies of the decade.

Because the plot points are often quite subtle, structurally this film seems a bit fluid and the protagonist’s objective is never explicitly stated. Yet there is a clear Hero’s Journey, with Enid Crossing the Threshold to enter and discover the Special World of Seymour. But where does this happen, at the end of Sequence B or C?

Enid is a reluctant character, and although she decides to enter the Special World, it is under a pretext. She will be resisting her attraction to Seymour (the Call to Adventure) until the second half of Act Two, when she explicitly suggests to Seymour she could move in (an Approach to the Inmost Cave).

At the end of Act Two, Enid goes through the crisis of losing both Becky and Seymour. The truth about her cruel joke on Seymour has to come out (an Ordeal, both for Enid and Seymour) before she is ready to move on.

I’m not sure if Enid’s visit to the hospital should be seen as the end of Act Two or the first scene of Act Three. Because the scene can be experienced as Enid’s redemption (the victim of her joke she calls now her hero) and she is finally honest about her feelings, I decided to put it in Act Two.

The scenes printed in blue represent the comic book source material that is – almost verbatim – included in the film. It shows how this is more than just an adaptation. It is almost entirely an original story, inspired by the characters created in the comic.

ACT ONE

SEQUENCE A: Life after Graduation

00.00 Panning across rear windows, against 50’s music.
02.30 Eccentric Enid, in her room, is dancing to the music.
03.00 Student graduation speeches; Enid &Rebecca roll eyes.
04.00 Gossiping outside school.
05.00 Enid & Rebecca in bar, making fun of un-cool girl.
06.00 Todd, making fun of the two girls.
07.30 Dennis, dork – not seeing him again: depressing.
08.00 Enid at breakfast with dad: an icon of boredom.
09.00 Enid & Becky at diner making fun, follow old ’satanists’.
10.30 Wowsville, 50’s diner; Weird Al serves.
11.30 Personals ’striking blonde’: plan for joke.


SEQUENCE B: A Cruel Joke

12.00 At Enid’s: calling the number, date at Wowsville.
14.00 Annoying Josh at the store, Doug interferes.
15.30 Please, Josh, give us a ride.
16.00 Driving with Josh.
16.30 Rebecca about Al “I want to make love to him.”
17.00 Seymour walks in, has vanilla milkshake.
18.00 Seymour leaves, cruel joke
18.30 Seymour’s near-accident; following; E. feels sympathy.

SEQUENCE C: Getting closer to Seymour

19.30 Art class;teacher announces community show.
21.00 Looking for flat, stalking Seymour, check his mail.
21.30 Garage sale; Seymour sells record. E.’s impressed.
24.00 Diner, E.: he’s almost cool. Un-cool friend: “funky”.
26.00 Enid dyes hair green, father enters. Rebecca watching.
26.30 Let’s go hassle Josh. Old man Norman at bus stop.
27.30 Josh is not home; Enid’s note: “You are gay.”
28.30 Johnny (magazine shop) provokes “punk rock is over!”
30.00 Enid plays Seymour’s record on repeat.
32.00 Seymour shows her the original 78.

ACT TWO

SEQUENCE D: A Challenge for Enid

33.00 Art Class: politically correct art in ‘higher category’.
35.30 Jamie @ Masterpiece Video, 8 1/2, go to surprise party.
36.30 Seymour’s Record Party: loser cracks on to Rebecca.
39.30 Enid in his record room, to Seymour: “You’re cool.”
40.30 I am your personal Dating Service.
42.00 Seymour’s type? Introduce him to Josh; he is shocked.
42.30 Taking S. to Anthony’s Adult: having fun, cat mask.
44.00 Becca’s at work, sick of losers; E.’s job? working on it.
45.30 Dad & Maxine: to bed early – art class for retards.

SEQUENCE E: Enid and Seymour have things in common

46.30 Art class – controversial imagery!
48.00 At diner, invited to band performance, Enid jealous
49.30 In car w/ Seymour; about music, misanthrope
50.30 Bands perform; Enid pushes S. to date; ruins it
53.30 Driving back; can’t relate to 99% of humanity
54.00 At Seymour’s, the story of Coon. Can I borrow?

SEQUENCE F: Things change when Seymour has a date

56.30 Takes Coon to class
58.30 Candy counter, turning customers away
60.00 Fired after one day? Some ideas for money.
61.30 Yard sale. Not selling. Forgot birthday cake.
62.00 Birthday, tells S. about Josh obsession.
63.30 Voice mail from redhead, Enid pushes to call.
64.30 Shopping w/ Becky, who’s sick of Seymour.
66.00 Dana visits Seymour; Enid reads.
67.00 D. & S. dancing; D. wants to see art movie.
68.30 Enid jealous, calls Becky, doesn’t want to see her.
70.00 Seymour; “Dana works out”. Dana arrives.
71.30 Enid almost ruins it, claims she hooked them up.

SEQUENCE G: Lots of offers but no friends.

72.30 Art Class: scholarship offered.
73.30 Dad has job for Enid, she is not interested.
74.30 Art Exhibition: critics hate Coon.
75.30 Seymour doesn’t show because of Dana.
77.30 With Norman on bench. Leaving town.
78.30 Fighting with Becky over flat, they split.

79.30 Dad says Maxine will move in.

SEQUENCE H: Enid wants to move in. With anybody.

80.30 Art Academy: no passing grade, no scholarship.
81.30 To Seymour: move in with you. Don’t you like me?
85.00 Post-coital; Seymour about moving in. Sleeping.
86.00 Seymour wakes up, Enid is gone.
86.30 Seymour goes to break up with Dana.
87.30 Maxine acts like mother; Seymour msg: moving in.
88.30 to Becky: I really want to move in with you.

SEQUENCE I: Losing it all. A confession

89.30 Seymour alone, calls Enid, no answer.
90.00 Boss calls Seymour: Coon art in newspaper.
90.30 Becky’s new place.
91.30 Enid is packing.
93.00 Becky tells Seymour about Enid’s blind date joke.
94.30 Seymour threatens Josh, Doug: citizen’s arrest.
95.30 Enid visits Seymour in hospital: You’re my hero.

ACT THREE

SEQUENCE J: Different paths

97.30 Enid & Becky on bench, reconciling.
99.00 Norman’s bus arrives.
100.0 Seymour with shrink, mother waits outside.
101.0 Enid on bench.

Nafa – Choctops Meeting: 18/2/08

(Report by John Haly,
Thank you to Tony Chu)

Karel -a Belgian producer and script consultant – founded OZZYWOOD Films and The Story Department (which is a unique Australian blog and online resource for screen story theory). Karel headed production and programming at London’s Digital Broadcasting Company and was a film buyer for CANAL+, (Europe’s largest pay TV service). He was the host for a movie show for MTV Europe. His production credits included two short dramas, a documentary and a feature film. In post-production, he has a short animation and a feature film. As a script consultant, he has clients both in Australia and overseas. Of interest to Nafa members, he also runs regular workshops on script writing. A notable fact is that the 2007 nominees and also the winner of the Australian Writer Guild Monte Miller Award were Karel’s clients. Accordingly, if you are a script writer, you will, indeed, be well advised to pay particular attention to his views on ‘What our industry needs is a Story Revolution’.

Karel began by delving back into his personal history stating that he had started in Radio as a reporter who would phone in initial reviews of films for night radio - a far cry from the online internet reviewing of films of the contemporary culture. His first venture into a screenplay dates back to 1989, although he admits to abandoning that path because of early criticism by an established script writer. His next attempt was twelve years later, and he promptly lost the first draft.

In 2001, he moved to Australia where he co-produced a documentary and then a short film, but the last didn’t go anywhere. The next film was “Aerosol” which was dispatched to, and was selected by a few film festivals, but won no significant prizes. As a consequence, he then contemplated a change of direction and began studying and reading in an effort to get new insights as to the creative writing process.

The author at the top of his reading list was Robert McKee. McKee’s book, ‘Story’ is considered by some as the “screenwriters’ bible”. When purchasing the software for screen writing called ‘Power Structure’, he was offered at a reduced price a DVD called ‘The Hero’s 2 Journeys’ which was promoted as extremely enlightening material capable of educating writers and which revealed the template upon which the vast majority of successful stories and Hollywood blockbusters are based. Michael Hauge and Christopher Vogler’s DVD opened Karel’s eyes as it offered a unique insiders’ understanding of the ways screenplay structure, character, and theme must combine to be successful.

Karel became aware of the sad fact that there seemed to be little by the way of ‘Story Education’ available in Australia. Michael Hauge’s principles were applied in advising writers of script plays. With the aid of AFC funding, it became possible to produce a following accompanied by good results. He educated writers that the structure of writing was important, particularly from the perspective of Character. His insight centred on the question: Where does drama happen? He emphasises that it is not in the visualisation of the story, but the subtext beneath the story that good scriptwriting lies.

The fault to which many writers fall prey is that of visualising the scene as they are writing, thus thinking in terms of pictures. As it is a visual media up with which we end, we must keep in mind into what it is that a visual story latches in the minds of the audience – for example, that of ‘Desire’! The question that ought to be at the centre of your script should focus on the desires and objectives of your characters because film ‘hangs together’ with the emotions of “Desire”.

A frequent criticism of Australian films is that they have weak protagonists, (i.e. those without will power). If you give your protagonist a visible goal with a desire and will to get there, then you are more likely to engage your audience. The essence of Michael Hauge’s proposition is that you need a character who has a visible goal with a clearly defined end-point.

Karel recalled the Columbia University educator, Frank Daniel, who was noted for his development of the sequence paradigm of Screenwriting. Frank’s conception of a good protagonist was ’somebody who wants something badly and has difficulty getting it.”

Karel turned to the audience to ask, ‘As a screen writer what is your primary goal?’ After a few financial and entertaining replies, someone suggested ‘to tell a story’. Karel then asked, ‘Why are you telling that story?’ Quoting Michael Hauge, his answer was two words, ‘elicit emotion’. In order to do this, there are three things with which a screen writer can play. 1. Character, 2. Desire, 3. Conflict.

The best way Karel can find to illustrate this is simply through the examples of successful films, which is what he uses when he runs his workshops. Irrespective of whether it is a Mainline or Arthouse movie, they all follow the same structure. The film ‘Die Hard’ deals with a man seeking to stop the criminals. ‘Jaws’ relates to a man’s desire to stop the Shark. Consider an Oscar winning Arthouse movie: “The Lives of Others’ where in the first half, the protagonist desires to expose the director while in the second half, he wishes to protect him.

As a screenwriter, you need to structure the desire. (Characters need structure in their desire). Your audience needs to know in the first act what that desire is. Your character also needs to resonate with the audience, exhibiting his or her human flaws. It is the flaw that holds the need of the protagonist. In ‘Die Hard, while desiring to stop the criminals, his flaw was that he was afraid to tackle the criminals who held his wife hostage. In the “The Lives of Others”, the protagonist changes his mind mid way. Audiences expect to perceive this desire, even if it is not spelled out.

As Aristotle distinguishes: a whole is that which has a beginning, a middle, and an end. In the beginning, the audience is introduced to the setting, the characters, their situation,/conflict and the goal they desire. In short, something happens, unexpectedly, which defines the story to come. To paraphrase Aristotle, ‘A beginning is that which does not itself follow anything by causal necessity, but after which something naturally is or comes to be’.

In ‘Die Hard’ the building is stopped while John McClane goes up to the highest floor to get a bird’s eye perspective and think through his options. He says to himself, ‘Think, think, think’. [KS: The exact same words are used by Woody in Toy Story 2 after Wheezy is taken away.] The initial plot point of confusion [KS: In the Hero's Journey the 'Mentor' stage, 'Refusing the Call'] shifts to the derivation of a plan and new plot point – an event followed by a reaction. Something happens, a plan evolves and the pursuit of activity begins and continues all the way to a resolution.

Karel advised that as a Script writer you should ask yourself, ‘What is the reason this story is being told?’. As for Karel himself, he was sitting here talking to us because he was strongly motivated by the desire to see a revolution in the way Australian Script writers create stories. He proclaimed, ‘Make sure there is a connection between yourself and the story you are telling. There is a requirement to want to connect to an audience.’

It is in the tribal ethos of ancient days that the storyteller tells stories relevant to their tribes. They are told not only to get the message across, but also to create such impact that the stories are repeatedly retold to subsequent generations of that tribe. It is important whether you be scriptwriters or producers or directors, that you choose the scripts that can best tell the story.

Be aware that the contemporary tribe of humanity is being conditioned by the way a story is being told in film and theatre. Be conscious of writing structure as it is entering an arena, a tribe, a society that is accustomed to perceive in a specific manner. Don’t be dismissive of the formula for telling the story in film just because you want to be ‘different’, or because your audience has been conditionally seasoned, even if they are not consciously aware of being told a story with a definite style.

Karel moved on to seek to discredit a few commonly held myths. The first one is that writers should rush out and buy specific Screen Writing Software such as ‘Final Draft’. In the first place, there are plenty of free alternatives out there for Microsoft word templates, [KS: Celtx] etc. Primarily, it initially tempts you to write in scenes, when it is the story you first need to relate. Reading scripts to get the format right as a pre-requisite encourages the visualisation of scenes when first, you should be concentrating on the story. Try watching a movie, break it down and decode it yourself rather than reading or writing a script (story first, script last).

The next myth concerns language. Some writers love flowery prose. Question yourself as to whether your objective is to write something that only reads well, or do you wish to write a story of substance? Identify: where is the story? Do you have a character with a desire? Where is the conflict in the story? This, as your primary guideline becomes the focus of the storyline.

The next myth concerns Log Lines. (A Log Line is a brief summary of the film, often providing both a synopsis of the program’s plot, and an emotional “hook” to stimulate interest). Karel confessed for a long time that he believed that the Log Line was the last thing you wrote after the script and synopsis. He is now firmly convinced the opposite is true.

If you want to know more about the importance of Log Lines go to ‘The Unknown Screen Writer‘ and ‘Mystery Man on Film‘. These will help you to use correctly the Log Lines – a procedure the importance of which cannot be overestimated. These are the selling lines of your film which you must know before you start writing. Formulate a Log Line of: who is your character? What does the character want?- and- What is the obstacle(s) in his way? Try to compose your log line by writing it down as soon as possible as this keeps you in focus. That great idea that pops into your head during the writing! Does it fit into your Log Line? If not, put it aside because it has no place in your story. Keep it for your next script.

Karel then suggested that the biggest mistake people make in the attempt to sell their scripts is to dispatch them too early. Sending and then resending draft versions is the quickest way to ensure that the people reading the dispatched articles lose interest. By resending a newer, updated version of the script, you are admitting to the producer or director that you sent them a previous script that you well knew wasn’t ready.

Following on from that theme, Karel pointed out that formatting the script is not important until you have the story written. As Art Arthur said: ‘Don’t get it right, get it written!’ Once it is written in the final draft, THEN there are formatting rules to which you need to comply. It is then that those slug lines, script punctation and the absence of typos needs to be scrupulously addressed.

Karel noted that studies of the Australian Government Feature Film Funding have shown that only about 19 out of some 419 films actually made money. He impressively expressed the point that our essential requirement was to think about the market. Again, he reiterated the need for writers to understand and act on the principles espoused in “The Hero’s Journey”.

Despite the perception that both Germans and Australians possess an inherent hero phobia, explore the successful films in our own industry, and that, in itself, will disabuse any such notion.

At this point, Jeanie opened the floor to questions. These included ones concerning the cultural differences between countries when it came to making films. This, in turn, raised the topic of our anxiety of being commercially successful. Questions about breaking the rules for film structure returned a reply of: ‘how about mastering the ‘Rules‘ first BEFORE contemplating breaking them- not the other way around.

Tony concluded the evening by thanking Karel for his contribution. Karel spoke privately to people as they approached him and eventually the evening broke up, as actors, producers and director’s networks chatted on before being kindly ejected by the Bar Staff wishing to close. Some of us spilled out onto the sidewalks to continue our conversations till the passing night drew us to the consideration that we should be homeward bound.

I am not sure which film this student had in mind as a successful example of non-conventional structure, but I bet you it was PULP FICTION. Ever since 1994, filmmakers have been hoping to get away with it in the same way Tarantino did. In my view PF has done far more damage to the craft of screenwriting than its success will ever justify. The irony is that PULP FICTION is relatively conventional in its structure, just not linear. Check Linda Aronson’s book SCREENWRITING UPDATED.

But all that is completely beside the point. The point is that writers often have this immature attitude. “But my script is different.” Another one that keeps coming back: “Hollywood only makes crap, audiences really don’t want to see that stuff anymore.” This one I only heard today: “It all works in my head, the film experience will be very different from the script!”

Call me conservative but the more I learn about film, the more I am convinced audiences are conditioned by an increasingly structured type of filmmaking. Time and time again I hear people rejecting structure one minute, and raving about highly structured films the next.

Ever since the story of a boy and a princess in space 30 years ago, audiences – whether you like it or not – have been conditioned by a more sophisticated version of the 3-act structure, i.e. the Hero’s Journey. And this process has only been reinforced since that paradigm was written down by Christopher Vogler. (I almost called The Hero’s Journey ‘a structure’ but it was never really intended to be. Yet it can often be elegantly blended with the three act structure.)

LEARN THE RULES, THEN BREAK THE RULES

Despite my endless complaints about Australian writers, I have had the pleasure and honour of meeting and working with dozens of writers who are dedicated to learning the craft. They read, study, analyse, attend seminars etc.

Most of them learn with the intention of later applying what they have learned. Others take the basics on board and explore ways of being original and creative within the boundaries. Yet others fully intend to knowingly break the rules with their first screenplay.

Now that may be unwise.

The statement above reading “Learn the Rules, then Break the Rules” is in my view a dangerous one. I would rather replace it with something like:

“Master the Rules, then Bend Them.”

It often happens that screenwriters only get their first screenplay made after years of learning the craft. When the film finally hits the screen, they realises that although they believed they had learned the skills, they hadn’t. An audience is a funny thing. You want them to feel this way, but they respond that way.

As a writer you won’t know if you actually master the craft until the film goes out and is successful. Believing that you can learn the rules and break them with your first script, is a dangerous illusion.

Of course every year there will be at least one success story of a breakthrough screenplay that didn’t apply the principles. Everybody will write and talk about that one person. Bottomline: if you are in this game for the long term, it pays to look at the statistics and then review your chances.

THE ONE THAT GOT AWAY

I am currently working with a client on a screenplay that reminded me in some peripheral way of the French rural drama Jean de Florette, starring Gerard Depardieu and the late Yves Montand*. I watched the film again with my wife and paid attention to its structure.

Although I had seen the film at least twice before, what I found out this time, literally blew me away.

The screenplay was adapted by director Claude Berri and veteran scribe Gerard Brach, from a hugely successful original French classic by Marcel Pagnol. The film had been a breakout arthouse hit across the world, with major prizes in its home country but also in England and the U.S. where it was nominated for a Golden Globe.

My wife and I had seen this film last about ten years ago, yet neither of us remembered much of the plot. We did remember the characters and even individual scenes. Not the plot.

Why??

Because the structure is quite extraordinary.

The whole film is structured following a text-book three-act structure. Inciting incident, first act turning point, second act are all ‘tres formulaic’. But what seemed unusual to me, and the primary reason why I think this film still looked so fresh to us: the story is structured around the antagonist’s journey.

My advise: don’t try this at home. As a beginning screenwriter, make sure you try your hand at convential material before you venture into this type of territory. The screenwriters of Jean de Florette were both highly experienced, with many successes to their names. Unfortunately, although the follow-up to Jean de Florette (Manon des Sources) may have brought a more upbeat closing to the rural saga, the writing was less inspiring.

When you have the chance, do watch both films, analyse these structural exceptions and asks yourself what is different, why this one works and the other doesn’t (so well).

It is always fascinating.

*Nice coincidence: when I was out the following night my wife randomly picked the Marilyn Monroe classic “Let’s make Love” from our DVD shelf and watched it, only to find it had – again – Yves Montand in a major role.

THE WORKSHOPS WORK

More than one week to go until 10 February and the Sydney story workshop is sold out. This weekend I’ll be teaching for the first time in Queensland, at the International Film College. My next Sydney Workshop will be on Sunday 13 April and bookings are open now.

The emphasis of the workshops has shifted slightly. The first sessions were heavily theoretical, focusing on aspects of the 3-act structure. Lately I have shifted towards more practical examples from a wider diversity of films, both old and recent, across completely different genres: from action movie to comedy, from Touch of Evil (1958) and Die Hard (1988) to The Incredibles (2004) and The Lives of Others (2006).

Some people find that the material taught in these classes is advanced. Let me tell you this: it is not. It represents the bare essentials. It is the absolute minimum you need to know if you want to even consider breaking into the scene. That doesn’t mean that it will sink in the first time around. You will still need to watch films, analyse them and apply what you have learned to your own work.

Next, you will need to call in the assistance from a professional. But you will be so much better prepared to enter into a dialogue about your work if you have laid the foundations by learning the terminology. Not only will it speed up your development, it will potentially save you hundreds or thousands of dollars as your script editor will talk to you about your script on your level.

THE PREMIUM EDITION

The Premium Edition has had visitors from New York to the country of Jean de Florette (Provence, South of France), from Australia’s East and West Coasts to the City Library of Amsterdam. Meanwhile, the first paying subscribers have signed up, from Australia and overseas!

Eight users are online while I am writing this, of which no less than seven guests and a few search engine spiders. Check it out for yourself by subscribing for a year at only the cost of one cappuccino a fortnight.

Among the newly added content, Premium Members now have also access to a list of mistakes I have come across in screenplays lately, as well as a few suggestions on how to avoid them.

In the coming days and weeks new articles will be added and I will be conducting an interview with Michael Hauge (who is coming to Australia this May) and will talk about the dangers of mystery.