The movie pays off on every possible level. It’s fun, emotional and has tremendous depth.

I have seen it three times, each in a different format, and the story easily withstands multiple viewings.  A few days ago I shared my views on the various technical formats. In short: I’m not overly excited about the whole 3D thing still. It’s just delivered very poorly.

But rejoice! Today we’re talking STORY!!

Yes, friends, Toy Story 3 is formulaic. Much like Toy Story 1 (See Paul Gulino’s excellent analysis in Screenwriting: The Sequence Approach), it follows an 8-Sequence Hero’s Journey structure with a powerful Mid Point Reversal. Still, it is delightfully complex as you can peel layer after layer from a wonderfully crafted script.

Trust me, this level of supremely high quality screenwriting you don’t get very often in cinemas. A team of the best story brains in the world labored over it for years, including one of the finest screenplayers of our generation. The result: the winner of the 2010 Academy Award for Best Original Screenplay. I’ll be damned if they don’t win.

I love doing these structural analyses and unfortunately I can’t always justify the time to write my notes with the breakdown. (At the time of this writing, I must apologize for still not having done this for the Gladiator breakdown)

This time, however, I found I had to give you at least something. Toy Story 3 is such an amazing example of successful sequential writing, as well as the pinnacle of Hero’s Journey structure. I know there are a few people out there still resisting the call from this type of structural approach but that’s fine. There’s two kinds of people in this world — Winners…and Losers. (LOL)

– massive spoilers ahead –

W.: Woody
B.: Buzz
MPH.: Mr. Potato Head
J.: Jessie
L.: Lotso
BB: Big Baby

ACT ONE

Sequence A: “Andy is gonna take care of us. I guarantee it.” (15mins)

00.00    Pixar leaders + Title
01.00    W. vs. One-Eyed Bart & Betty (Mr. & Mrs. PH), aliens & Evil Dr. Pork Chop (Hamm)
05.00    Montage of video: Andy plays with toys as he grows up. “Our frienship will never die…”

06.15    A. about to leave for college.  Toys in chest, executing plan to get A.’s attention.
07.30    Calling Andy’s mobile – plan fails as he ignores the toys.
08.00    Staff meeting. Woody: “Andy is gonna put us in the attic.” Toy soldiers give up & leave.
10.00    Woody: “Andy is gonna take care of us. I guarantee it.” Looks at old photo.
11.00    Buzz: “Guarantee it? … At least we’ll all be together.”
13.00    Andy opens chest, looks at toys, puts them in garbage bag. Woody & Buzz separated.

14.00    Andy goes to attic, Molly interrupts. Attic closes. Mom takes bag for garbage.

This is the movie’s first sequence climax. It holds both the Inciting Incident (toys to garbage) and Woody’s Call to Adventure (he witnesses the I.I.). He must act. Note that the ensuing action is not about staying together (a Call he is refusing as he’s accepted Andy’s choice to take Woody with him to college), but rather about saving his friends from the garbage truck, so they can go to the attic.

Sequence B: Woody saving friends, caught in car to daycare. (14mins)

15.00    Think, think, think! Dog Buster is no help: fat & old. Garbage truck getting closer.
16.30    Toys escape under. box J.: “I know what to do!” All in car in box to Sunnyside.
17.30    Woody: Mistake! Car door closes, drives off. W.: “You’ll be begging to go home!”
19.00    Looking through handle hole: Butterfly room. Kids playing peacefully with toys.

20.30    Warmly welcomed by other toys. Lotso: Playing all day. No owners, no heartbreak.
22.30    Ken’s Dreamhouse: Barbie in love with Ken. Lotso gives the toys a tour.
26.00    W.: “We need to go home.!” Toys try to convince him, unsuccessfully.
27.30    Buzz: “This is it? After all we’ve been through?” Extends hand to Woody. Woody refuses.

Woody’s final decision to pursue his overall goal (and initial plan) for this movie isn’t formulated until here: to return to Andy and be there for him when he goes to college. His refusal to accept Buzz’ hand is the movie’s second sequence climax and a reminder of the Inner Journey: he must learn to let go of the past and keep his loyalty to his friends, i.e. Stay Together.

Ironically, after Andy’s decision to separate Woody from his friends (in Sequence A) has been overturned, now the choice is put to Woody. He can stay together with them if he wants, but he chooses not to.

You might want to see the closing of the car door as the end of Act One, as that’s where the toys are leaving their Ordinary World. This is not a deliberate action by Woody, though.

He doesn’t voluntarily enter Sunnyside and the toys being together at that point is still too much of an Ordinary World, offering our hero a sense of comfort. The real separation only happens when Woody deliberately chooses to leave. It feels consistent with the way the sequence is built dramatically. Woody refusing Buzz’ extended hand is a tremendously powerful setup for the heart-wrenching Crisis scene, in which he will accept Buzz’ hand.

ACT TWO

Sequence C: Woody escapes. Toys see the less sunny side. (12mins)

28.30    Woody escapes: Corridor – Bathroom – Roof – Glider – Tree. Bonnie finds him.
31.00    Rough playtime. Buzz sees the Butterfly Room – contrast of peace.
33.00    Meeting Bonnie’s toys: heaven for Andy. Being played with & being loved.
35.00    Aftermath. Toys in Caterpillar Room lick their wounds. Moving to Butterfly Room!

36.00    We’re trapped! Open door.  Buzz follows Twitch and Chunk into candy dispenser.
38.30    Buzz overhears gamblers: “Lucky if they last a week.” B. Caught by Big Baby. To library!

Woody’s escape from Sunnyside is a fun ‘threshold sequence’, in which he travels and overcomes barriers to leave the world of Sunnyside.

If you want, you can see Toy Story 3 as a metaphorical tale about the end of (a toy’s) life.

Throughout the film you may recognize symbols of life and death, echoing religious notions of heaven, hell and purgatory. When Bonnie plays with Woody and throws him gently in the air, the image goes in slow motion, showing an ecstatic Woody. This is clearly heaven to him: being played with and being loved. It is no coincidence that this is where Woody will return after he narrowly escapes a burning hell by taking Buzz’ hand, a symbolic repentance.

The sequence ends on a strong climax with Buzz being in jeopardy.

Sequence D: Mid Point Reversal: Truth behind Sunnyside. (12mins)

40.00    Woody tries to leave Bonnie’s place. Toys protest.
40.30    Buzz questioned, Lotso: “We got a keeper!” Buzz reset to Demo mode.
43.00    Mrs. PH’s ‘other eye’ sees A. & Mom. “Woody was telling the truth! We gotta go home!”
44.00    Lotso: “You’re Not Going Anywhere. Lock ‘em up!” Buzz ‘disables’ them.
47.30    W. hears Story of Daisy, Chuckles, Lotso and Big Baby.  W: “But… my friends are there!”

Like clockwork, after four of the eight sequences and halfway the movie, the tables are turned.

The Mid Sequence is only the second sequence of Act Two but it falls right in the middle of the story (40mins preceding it, 40mins following it), because Act One is significantly longer than Act Three.

Reversal #1: We have learned that Sunnyside is a very dark place to be, contrary to the first impression the toys had upon arrival.
Reversal #2: As a result of #1, Woody has changed his beliefs about staying with Andy vs. staying together with his friends. (Inner Journey)
Reversal #3: Consistent with the progress in his Inner Journey, Woody changes his Outer Journey approach and in stead of returning to Andy’s place, he will return to Sunnyside and help his friends.

ACT TWO-b

Sequence E: Woody back. Getting out tonight! (16mins)

52.00    Lotso: “Rise and shine, campers! Playdate with destiny.” More rough playtime.
53.30    Woody goes back in. Phone gives W. a 4-pronged strategy: “Get rid of that monkey.”

56.30    W. back with toys: “We’re busting out of here. Tonight!” Explains plan to toys.
58.00    Executing the plan: MPH gone – distraction manoeuvre. Woody & Slinky get out.
59.00    MPH escapes from the Box w/ Tortilla. / Woody immobilizes monkey.
60.30    Barbie: “Ken, would you model a few outfits for me?”
61.00    Monkey mummified – Woody finds the key. / Hamm and Rex catch Buzz under box.
63.00    Barbie: no more games, Ken. / Mr. Potato Head: coast clear, toys come out.
64.30    Barbie gets Ken to speak, then gets manual from library, in space suit.
65.30    MPH (tortilla version) vs. Bird / Toys ‘fix’ Buzz but he goes in Spanish Mode.

Act IIb shows a new direction, a clear plan is laid out and a ticking clock speeds up the action. This sequence has a great energy, quite positive for an Act IIb sequence. But this is done deliberately in order to create a stark contrast with the sequence that follows.

Sequence F: Escaping + Woody’s Ordeal & Transformation (15mins)

68.00    MPH (cucumber version) returns. All leave, outsmart Big Baby, who’s on guard.
69.30    Buzz courting Jessie with dance. She is happy to see Woody again.
70.30    Buzz opens the shute. On the other side: Lotso & Co. Phone: “They broke me”.
72.30   L.: “You need to avoid that truck. Join our family again.”
73.30    Woody: what about Daisy? She loved you. Big Baby: “Mama!”
74.00    BB pushes Lotso into garbage container. Alien stuck, Woody helps, is pulled in.
75.00    Too late: toys  in garbage truck. Buzz saves Jessie and is returned to normal.
77.00    Arrival at the dump. Aliens run towards claw but are caught by passing truck.
78.00    Conveyor belt. W.: “Stay together.” Woody and Buzz save Lotso.
79.00    We’re all in this together! Daylight! Not daylight but oven.
79.30    Lotso betrays them. “Where’s your kid now!” All going down.
81.00    All toys holding hands, ready for the end. Woody takes Buzz’ extended hand.
82.00    Light from above. The Claw! Aliens are in control.

This sequence creates instant cinema history. At the Mid Point, Woody chose to stay with his friends. In this Approaching the Inmost Cave stage, the hero’s new belief is tested.

The sequence opens light-heartedly, with Mr Potato Head having changed his disguise from a tortilla to a cucumber. Soon the tone changes, with Big Baby’s creepy reference to The Exorcist and before we know the toys are in the garbage truck with a scene that could be a reference to Star Wars‘ trash compactor scene. This could be mistaken for the story’s Crisis but not for long.

Woody and his friends have lived through all the stages of a toy’s life and they’ve arrived at the dump, where the hero will face the Ordeal, in the Inmost Cave. It will be the story’s lowest point, both literally and figuratively. Woody is on his way to hell (the oven) and before he deserves heaven (Bonnie’s room) he will need to redeem himself.

The moment when the toys are all holding hands, facing death, is hands-down the greatest cinematic moment I have seen in a long time. Woody passes the test glowingly as a transformational hero when he redeems himself for rejecting Buzz at the end of Act One.
The tightness of the screenplay is just astounding at this point. The religious reference is obvious when suddenly the light shines from above, but another layer is added in by the fact that The Claw had always represented the little aliens’ God.

ACT THREE

Sequence G: Road Back + Climax. Woody does the right thing (10mins)

83.00    MPH “Eternally grateful.” Lotso onto front of truck. Keep mouth shut!
84.00    W.: “Maybe attic not great idea.” Andy still packing. On garbage truck (with Sid).
85.00    Home, go back in box ‘Attic’. Toys say goodbye to Woody. “Take care of Andy.”
86.00    Andy back in box ‘College’. Mom emotional. “I wish I could always be with you.”
87.00    Woody writes a note. Andy: “Donate?” Mom: “Whatever you wanna do.”
88.00    Andy drives to Bonnie’s place, introduces toys to Bonnie. “Take good care.”
90.30    Bonnie finds Woody: “My cowboy”. Andy confused & conflicted. (Climax)
91.30    Andy’s decision: “You think you can take care of him for me?”

With a Crisis of the magnitude as we’ve seen here, the movie can’t go wrong anymore. Still, surprises keep piling up.

This final installment in the Toy Story saga is different from the others in that Woody interferes with the world of the humans – with lasting impact – more than once. It works perfectly for a number of reasons. I can think of two:

1. If you see the three movies as three acts in the overall arc, it is normal that the hero is more active in the final act. Having Woody change the world of the humans is a fabulous way of making this happen.

2. The toys’ license to interfere with the world of the humans is set up in the very early scene when they call Andy’s mobile phone.

3. Woody’s final action causes a moment of choice for Andy, similar to Woody’s own journey climax.

92.30    Andy: Thanks guys. So long, partner.

93.00    The End.

To conclude, I would like to point out that it is so much easier to analyze a great story – and this is not even a proper analysis, just a rough outline – than it is to write one. The first you can do in a few hours; the last takes a few years. That said, I hope that this analysis helps some people to see the difference between following good writing principles and lazily copying a formula.

Toy Story 3 ticks more boxes than any movie I have seen in recent times, yet it does it in a refreshing way. It also shows that even if you know all the principles, it will still take you years to come up with a story that is worth telling on the big screen.

If you are willing to put in the hard work and understand how an audience’s perception of story works, you can learn how to make your stories work. Just don’t expect to find any shortcuts, anywhere.

Now it’s time to add your comments below!

- Karel Segers

Karel Segers is a producer and script consultant who started in movies as a rights buyer for Europe’s largest pay TV group Canal+. Back then it was handy to speak 5 languages. Less so today in Australia.

Karel teaches, consults and lectures on screenwriting and the principles of storytelling to his 5-year old son Baxter and anyone who listens.

He is also the boss of this blog.

Once you understand how drama functions, you can apply it to EVERY level of the story.

Earlier we have looked at how the Mentor Sequence in The Untouchables was conceived as a mini 3-act story.

Today we’ll go a step further and see how Pixar plays with the Hero’s Journey story stages.

It is no news that the guys at Pixar know their Journey inside out. But you may be surprised to see how accurate the paradigm is followed.

As a matter of fact, by the time we reach the Inciting Incident (Call to Adventure) in Toy Story 2, you will have seen two almost complete hero’s journeys.

Let’s focus on the first one.

The film opens with Buzz Lightyear approaching the planet of the Evil Emperor Zurg.

The following three minutes are a textbook example of the Second Act within the Hero’s Journey, or stages 5 to 9:

5. CROSSING THE THRESHOLD

Buzz enters the atmosphere. He crosses the Threshold into the Special World, which is the planet of Zurg.

Insofar the Crossing of the Threshold symbolises the Hero’s decision to act, this has already happened (in Toy Story 1) as we know what Buzz’s mission is: ‘to defeat the evil emperor Zurg’. In other words: we don’t need to see the scene in which Buzz commits to the journey. We know his character and purpose.

6. TESTS, ALLIES & ENEMIES

Before he embarks on his mission to find Zurg, he has to pass a number of Tests: 1) fly through the belt of asteroids unharmed, 2) land safely and 3) dodge the falling debris.

While he records his mission log (Ally?), he is surrounded by enemy droids (Enemies), protecting Zurg’s stronghold.

The tests continue as we commence the …

7. APPROACH TO THE INMOST CAVE

While Buzz is looking for a way to enter Zurg’s headquarters, a Cave Guardian in the shape of a video camera notices him. Buzz has to eliminate the Guardian before he can proceed.

Now a secret entrance opens up. When Buzz jumps in, he crosses the Second Threshold. The approach continues underground. More tests follow, one of which is the crossing of the abyss (to the tune of Strauss’ Also Sprach Zarathustra, a reference to Kubrick’s 2001).

Now we have a brief scene from Zurg’s POV: “Come to me, my prey!”. This is the ‘antagonist high point’, which always immediately precedes the Hero’s lowest point, i.e. the Ordeal.

9. THE REWARD

In this journey, we see the Reward before the Ordeal: the ‘Source of Zurg’s Power’ – a battery – is floating in a magnetic field. It is clear that this is the item Buzz is after. But first he’ll have to face Zurg….

Note that a similar technique – revealing the Reward before the Ordeal -  is used in The Incredibles, where we see the video projection in the Cave, showing the information the Incredibles need to fight Syndrome in Act Three. But first they have to survive the Ordeal.

8. THE ORDEAL

In the Ordeal, Buzz and Zurg fight. A proper Ordeal confronts the Hero with death. Here it seems frighteningly literal, when Zurg blows off Zurg’s head and torso – a scary image.

The Second Act has come to a down ending, without Buzz reaping the reward. Only now do we enter the real story of Toy Story 2 and realise it was only a video game; a story within the story and and entire Hero’s Journey Act Two in only just over 3 minutes!

So, what’s there to learn?

When beginning writers talk about structure, most of the time they mean the 3-act structure and they don’t get any further than that.

The screenwriting industry is hellishly competitive. I believe it would increase your chances of selling your work or getting a writing job if you understand how you can make stories exciting by using structure creatively WITHIN the Act, the Sequence and the Scene.

Is there a danger that all films will end up the same? It depends on what your criteria are. If you find that all Pixar movies  are the same, then yes. If you find that all Cameron movies are the same, then yes.

Anyhow, the audience doesn’t seem to mind.

Further reading

If you’re ready to do your own analyses, check out Myth & the Movies. In this book, Stuart Voytilla identifies journey stages within 50 major movies of 10 different genres. He drills deeper than just the story level.

Do you know of any other mini-journeys? Share them with us in the comments!

(David Mamet, 1986)

David Mamet has never equaled the tremendous power of his eighties screenplays. The Postman Always Rings Twice, The Verdict, The Untouchables and even his own directorial debut House of Games, starring his then wife Lindsay Crouse.

The Untouchables has always been my favorite. De Palma turned the script into the most cinematic of Mamet’s writing.

SPOILER WARNINGS (ENTIRE ARTICLE)

Based on the 1959 TV series, this crime drama takes place during the Prohibition era. It follows the autobiographical accounts of Eliot Ness, played by Kevin Costner and fellow cop Jim Malone’s (Sean Connery) as they bring down Al Capone, played by the sly Robert DeNiro.

The opening scene features the quote “You can get further with a kind word and a gun than just a kind word.” These were Mamet’s own words, about the tough neighborhood he grew up in.

ACT ONE

SEQUENCE A: The Law of the Land (15mins)

00.00 Titles
02.30 Capone at the barber’s: 1930, Chicago is city at war.
03.00 Guns are necessary but violence is not good business.
05.00 Bomb kills girl at pub that doesn’t buy from Capone. (=Inc.Inc.)

06.30 Ness at home before work. Wife: You’ll make a good 1st impression.
08.00 Ness: Not just a showpiece program. The law of the land.
09.00 Briefing to the flying squad. Stop drinking! Canadian shipment: raid.
10.30 Preparing raid, waiting. Being married. Journo mistaken for gangster.
13.00 Raid fails. Pic with umbrella. (Capone has insider w/ Police =Call to Adventure)

SEQUENCE B: Hiring the Mentor and Allies (20mins)

15.30 Meeting Malone. First rule of law enforcement: go home alive.
19.00 Capone reads the news, satisfied, schadenfreude.
20.30 Dead girl’s mother comes to see him: You will put a stop to them.
22.30 Goes to visit Malone. He refuses the call. Beat cop, how can I help?
24.30 Ness goes home, listen to radio with wife.
25.30 Wallace: no Capone tax return since ’26. Malone comes in
26.30 Malone comes in. Let’s go; these walls have ears.
27.00 Malone: What are you prepared to do? All the way. The Chicago way.
28.30 Malone: Who can you trust. Afaid of rotten apple? Get it off the tree.
29.30 Shooting gallery: best shot? George Stone. Giuseppe Petri.
32.00 Ready to go to work? Four Untouchables leave Treas. Dept., armed.

33.00 Post Office raid. ‘To cross Capone’. Walk through this door. (=PP1/Crossing the Threshold)
34.30 Debrief with cigars. Saint of the Lost Causes. Photo.

ACT TWO

SEQUENCE C: Defying the enemy (10mins)

35.30 Capone: Baseball speech. Teamwork vs. going alone. Kills gangster.
38.00 Ness home.
39.30 Wallace: All Capone business is legitimate. He has no income.
40.00 John O’Shea. You guys are ‘untouchable’. Is that the thing?
42.00 Nitti: Nice to have a family. Take care nothing happens to them.
42.30 Eliot panics, runs inside.
43.00 Evacuation. / International shipment coming in.
44.30 Wallace: get him on tax evasion. How to link him to the money?

SEQUENCE D: Canadian Border (14mins)

45.30 Briefing at the Canadian border. Take the battle to them.

47.00 Malone’s: Wait and watch. -Are you my tutor? -Yes Sir. That I am.
49.00 Action on the bridge. Watching. Malone: Shoot to kill. Stone: Yes.
50.30 On horses. Early shot. Going in.
53.00 Malone captures gangster with paperwork. Wallace shows courage.
54.00 Ness kills gangster in self-defense. Malone: You rather it was you?
56.00 Questioning prisoner. Wallace has books. Prisoner doesn’t talk.

58.00 Malone shoots body. Mountie objects. Ness: Not from Chicago. (=Mid Point)

SEQUENCE E: Reversal – Touchables (8mins)

59.00 Capone: I want him dead.
59.30 At home. -Are you careful? -As mice. “The man who got Al Capone.”
60.30 Subpoena. Gangster in elevator w/ Wallace. D.I.: Nitti operates lift.
62.00 Ness & Malone: Nice to be married. -If you can stand the pain. Shots.
62.30 Elevator covered in blood: “Touchables.”
65.00 Chief Dorsett: Better not to get involved.

66.00 Ness to Capone’s hotel: Confrontation on the stairs.

SEQUENCE F: Sacrifices (15mins)

67.00 Regrouping. DA drops case without witness. Malone: stall the guy.
70.30 Bookkeeper will be going out of town.
71.00 Malone: need bookkeeper. Chief Dorsett: Dead man talking. Fight.
73.30 Ness stalls the DA.
74.00 Malone calls Stone: my place rightaway. Know where Payne is.
74.30 Capone: Somebody messes with me? I’m gonna mess with him.
75.30 D.I.: Nitti at Malone’s. Malone chases other man. Shot by Nitti.
79.00 Malone dying // Capone at Opera.

80.00 Ness at Malone’s. Train tables. -What are you prepared to do? (PP2/Ordeal)

ACT THREE

SEQUENCE G: The Train Station Steps (10mins)

82.30 Ness & Stone. Train leaving at 12.05h. We’ll be there.
83.00 11.55h Waiting. Woman with pram.
87.30 Ness helps woman. Gangsters appear.
88.30 Shot. Pram goes down. Shootout.

90.30 Mexican standoff. Stone takes out Payne’s guard.

SEQUENCE H: Is that Justice? (15mins)

92.00 Court: Payne admits disbursements to Capone. Nitti has gun.
95.00 Taking Nitti outside. Shoots at cop and runs.

97.00 Chase onto roof. Nitti provokes, Ness pushes. Nitti falls.
102.3 Stone gives Ness list of bribed jury members.
103.0 Judge looks at list. No evidence. Ness talks to judge in private. (=Climax/Resurrection)
104.3 Judge swaps juries. Capone objects. Judge overrules.

105.0 Capone’s lawyer: guilty. Never stop fighting till the fight is done.

Aftermath (4mins)

107.3 Newspaper clippings: “So much violence”.
109.3 Stone gives Ness Malone’s key. -He’d have wanted a cop to have it.
110.3 Journo: Going to repeal prohibition? Ness: Then I’ll have a drink.
111.3 The End.

When I find the time, I will elaborate on the Key Turning Points.

Meanwhile, please give me your feedback in the comments as I’m in two minds about the Inciting Incident / Call to Adventure. If the bomb explosion is the Inciting Incident, technically the mother of the child would be the Herald, calling Ness to his journey. On the other hand, it’s really when Ness realises the police is not to be trusted that he reverts to his Mentor for advice, which will lead him to the journey.

I know all of this is academic and the first act works a treat because it’s clear the odds are stacking up against Ness in a big way; his world is not as rosy and controllable as he thought it were.

The device of the photographs to emphasise important moments lures me into thinking these are really the key turning points. In this case, the Inciting Incident and the Call to Adventure are one and the same: the moment Ness realises he’s looking like a fool with that umbrella and he needs to do something about it.

Your feedback, please!

(with thanks to Solmaaz Yazdiha)

See also:

• The Untouchables – The Mid Point(s)
• The Untouchables – Hiring the Mentor
  

Here’s my weekly selection from the blogosphere. Feel free to recommend anything or give your feedback in the Questions and Comments below.

And don’t forget you can subscribe to our posts so you don’t miss any of this, ever.

• Screenwriting Expo – Report on Day 1 (by James Nicholas)
• Alexandra beat me to it on the 3-Act, 8-Sequence structure.
• There’s this structural formula for movies. It works. But why?
• Bollywood: Big audiences … and stories they want to see.
• Lantern gone. Time to focus on local mainstream flicks, NSW!
• Is cult film dead? If so, who killed it?
• Screenwriters are earning less. It’s not simply the economy.
• 1st Lesson: A simple overview of the 12 Hero’s Journey Stages.
• Story is about problems. Like news only reports bad things.
• In his old age, Coppola has become a whinger. Get with it dude!
• Some scribes write really dense tech talk, and get away with it.
• Why should you consider writing low budget stories?
• Last year’s Black List: Scripts now all available for download.
• When a goat is just a goat. About useless, ego maniac teachers.
• You’re a competition 1/4 finalist. Should you brag about it?

COMING SOON to the Story Department:

• Raindance Film Fest wrapped. A director reports.
• Structural breakdown of THE UNTOUCHABLES
• Paul Gulino: Screenwriting, the Deadline Approach.

Enjoy!

Karel

It took me a while to appreciate this gem by Akiva Goldsman and directed by Ron Howard. Not sure why.

The film won four Academy Awards, including Best Picture, so I had a good reason for looking into it.

Screenwriter Goldsman had a personal attachment to the material. He created a method for training mental health workers and his parents had established a home for emotionally disturbed children.

“For me the source was both the biography and John Nash. I wanted to feel what I thought was the truth of those two objects.” -Akiva Goldsman

I watched the film to study its Point of View. I learned a lot more. To me this film is about a journey from hubris to humility. In Akiva Goldsman’s story, the character of John Nash is a man obsessed by the genius of the mind, who learns to appreciate the genius of the heart.

ACT ONE

SEQUENCE A: Hubris and Truly Unique Ideas. (15mins)

00.00    TITLES
01.30    Princeton ’47. Mathematicians! Who’s the next Einstein?
02.30    John Nash, the mysterious West-Virginian mathematician.
05.00    Surprise – a roommate: drunk Charles Herman.
07.00    Drinking with Charles: I want to find truly original idea.
08.30    Extract algorythm from pigeons. Plays ‘Go’ with Martin.
09.30     Angry at loss: Hubris! Cynically: “The great John Nash”
11.00    Onto something: what if nobody loses? Charles: eat!
12.30    Billiards, approaches girl too directly. Gets slap in the face.
14.30    Mid-year review: no placement. Witnesses pen ceremony.

The sequence opens with Nash’s objective to find a truly original idea. His attitude to his fellow students may seem shy, but it’s clearly arrogant (his flaw). He considers himself superior to the others, those ‘hacks’. The sequence ends on the Inciting Incident: He’s been told he desperately needs to show results or he’s out.

SEQ. B: Governing Dynamics – Opportunity calls (11mins)

16.30    Desperate for new idea. Charles throws desk out.
18.30    Blonde in bar – Governing dynamics: Adam Smith was wrong!
21.00    In room, working on new theory.
21.30    Professor acknowledges breakthrough: any placement OK.
23.00    Celebration, with Sol & Bender. Martin toasts, too.
24.00    ’53 Pentagon: summoned to decode Russion transmissions.
26.00    Decodes, poses too many questions, asked to leave.

As a result of his academic breakthrough, Nash is asked to help the Pentagon with their code decyphering. It tickles his interest and he wants to know more.

SEQ. C: Hubris Challenged: the Call of Romance (9mins)

27.00    Sol & Bender. Cover of fortune. Supposed to be just ME!
29.00    Teaching – Alicia stands out: her solution to heat & noise.
31.00    Night. Parcher. “What can I do for the Dept. of Defense?”
32.30    Crossing Threshold, into codebreaker labs in warehouses.
35.00    They implant ‘radium diode’ in his arm. Am I now a spy?

By crossing the threshold, John is now a major player in the Government’s attempts to locate and stop the Russian transport of a nuclear bomb.  His pride and arrogance hasn’t faltered as is clear from his behaviour among Sol & Bender. Now John’s mission is clear, we’re ready to go into Act II.

ACT TWO

SEQ. C: A World of Mystery and Imagination (11mins)

36.00    Alicia in his office to ask him out for dinner.
39.00    Party: sees suspicious men. Goes outside with Alicia.
41.00    ‘A pair of odd ducks’. Shows her an umbrella shape in stars.
42.30    Codes everywhere, compiles data & prepares envelope.
44.00    Delivers envelope with secret data to mail box.
45.00    Picnic w/ Alicia, is being direct. They kiss.

The love subplot is set up, advanced and John is successful in keeping the two worlds separate.

SEQ. D: Two conflicting journeys (17mins)

47.00    Charles introduces Marcee. Marry Alicia… How to know?
49.30    Late for Alicia’s birthday dinner. He proposes to her.
52.00    Wedding – Parcher is there, too.
53.00    Picked up by Parcher – Chase and gun fight.
55.00    Home. Doesn’t talk to Alicia.
56.30    Acts paranoid in class: sees men outside, stalking him.
57.00    Complains to Parcher: “not what I signed up for!”
57.30    Alicia is pregnant. Parcher: Help or Russians after you.
59.00    Night at home: tells Alicia to go to sister’s. Not safe.
60.00    Nat. Math Conf.: Charles there with Marcee for lecture.
61.00    Men come in during lecture, John escapes, chase.
62.00    Rosen, psychiatrist, introduces himself. John escapes.
63.00    Taken away by Rosen and his men, screaming “Russians!”

It becomes harder and harder for John to manage his paranoia and his relationships start to suffer. At the conference he drops the ball completely and the public humiliation is a turning point: it has now become a medical issue.

MID SEQ.: Alicia’s POV – Gaining awareness. (14mins)

64.00    At hospital with Rosen. “Tell me who you see.”
66.30    Rosen explains to Alicia about imaginary Herman.
69.00    Alicia visits John’s office, sees evidence of madness.
70.00    Alicia visits the house with mysterious mail box.
71.00    Alicia visits John in hospital; envelopes unopened.
74.30    John cut wrists: implant is gone.
75.00    Rosen: schizophrenia. 10wks of shock treatment.

Now we know that John’s perception is unreliable, his POV no longer functions as that of the protagonist. Therefore we shift to the next – reliable – character with the greatest emotional objective: Alicia. We’ll stay within her POV until John has a plan again.

SEQ. E: No meds: sliding back into darkness. (13mins)

77.30    One year later. Alicia & Sol. How are you coping?
79.00    Sol: Other things besides work. John: What are they?
81.30    John holding baby, deflated. Alicia takes him away.
82.30    Alicia: talk to people. Take out the garbage.
83.00    Talking to who? -Garbage man. -Not at night. -Here they do.
84.00    Rejecting Alicia in bed. She breaks down.
86.00    Alicia works overtime.
86.30    Not taking his medicine. Hallucinates again: Parcher.
88.30    Shed w/ equipment. To Parcher: Was scared you weren’t real.

SEQ. F: At the lowest point – seeing the truth. (12mins)

90.00    Storm coming: Alicia goes into the shed. Clippings…
91.30    John nearly drowns the baby. “Charles was watching!”
93.00    Alicia calls Rosen. John hurts her. Parcher: Finish her!
94.00    Marcee can’t be real. She never gets old!
95.00    Rosen: Why did you stop meds? Get treatment or gets worse.
97.00    Commitment papers. -Rosen was right: I’m not safe anymore.
99.00    Rosen leaves. Alicia: I need something extraordinary.

ACT THREE

SEQ. H: Working it out (14mins)

101.3    Princeton, 2mnths later: Martin. Work out of the library.
105.0    Going nuts in library w/ Parcher. Martin stands up for him.
106.0    Alicia: Stress triggers it. Try again tomorrow.
107.0    Farewell to Charles & Marcee.
108.0    Audit class. 1st class.
108.3    Working in library. Ignores Charles.
109.0    Students make fun of John, he ignores them.
109.3    John with son.
110.0    Teaching, Parcher still around, Marcee too.
111.0    ’78: Progress. Toby presents his theory. John offers food.
113.0    Alicia & Martin see John in his element, with students.
113.3    I might teach. Terrible! Maybe Spring. Playing Go.

SEQ. I: Return with the Elixir (8 mins)

115.0    After class: considered for Nobel Prize. Let’s have  tea.
117.0    Concerned about image of Nobel Prize. I am crazy. Pens!
120.0    12/94 Ceremony Stockholm. Speech for Alicia. All my reasons.
122.3    Ready to leave. Ignores the delusions.
123.3    THE END

The greatest challenge for writer Goldsman must have been to make the identification with a schizophrenic work. Any mainstream audience will instinctively resist this.

To compensate, Goldsman sets up John as a brilliant mind with a number of objectives that keep us going until the Mid Point. Then, his disease can no longer be ignored and his POV has become unreliable.

At this point, showing his craftsmanship, Goldsman shifts the POV to the sane person closest to John: his wife.  She now has the most powerful objective: to get her husband back.

The sequence continues until John has gained awareness about his condition and is committed to do something about it.   After the next sequence’s opening scene – 1 year later – we move back into his POV.

In 2008 the festival potential of my own short animation Tin Can Heart – wr/dir. by Rod March – vaporised when Wall-E appeared weeks after the completion of our film. The similarities were striking…

Still, I was pleased to see we were thinking along the same lines of the master storytellers of Pixar.

I’ve seen UP twice now and I find it thematically one of the most powerful movies of recent times.

Perhaps it resonates with me because I feel I’m at the Mid Point of my own life.

“A life, Jimmy, you know what that is? It’s the shit that happens while you’re waiting for moments that never come.” – Freamon (From: The Wire)

SPOILER ALERT – FULL STORY ANALYSIS

What follows is a rough but complete analysis, based on notes made in the dark of the cinema. Not all turned out legible afterwards…

At the bottom of this post I touch briefly on the Inciting Incident (I.I.) or Call to Adventure of UP.

Here’s another great movie that seems to fit itself wonderfully into an eigh-sequence Hero’s Journey.

Enjoy!

A. Prologue: Dreaming of Adventure (10mins)

00.00 TITLES
01.30 Little Carl in cinema: ‘Spotlight on adventure!’
02.00 Explorer Muntz found to be cheating.
02.30 Muntz off to capture the monster & clear his name.
03.30 Carl follows a girl’s voice into a house.
04.30 Ellie: You & me are in a club together now! Badge.
05.00 Getting the balloon down – Carl falls…
05.30 Carl in bed – a  balloon with a message floats in.
06.00 Ellie’s Adventure Book: I’m going where he’s going…
07.00 Carl & Ellie are getting married.

08.30 Ellie wants lots of children but can’t have any.
09.00 Saving up for the trip. Misfortune keeps striking.
10.00 Carl sees Ellie’s childhood photo, time is passing.
10.30 Carl buys plane tickets; Ellie gets sick & passes away.

ACT ONE

B. Ordinary Life in an Ordinary World (10mins)

11.30 Carl’s life alone: daily routine.
13.30 House is surrounded by a building site.
14.00 Mail: ‘Shady Oaks’ retirement village.
15.00 “You can have my house when I’m dead!”
15.30 Russell knocks: Need assistance today?
17.00 Carl sends him off: Find the snipe. -I’ll find it!
17.30 Mailbox damaged: Carl injures a man with his cane. (I.I.)
18.30 Court summons: ‘Shady Oaks’ guys will pick you up.
19.00 Carl is packing. Crosses his heart.
20.30 Meet you in a minute: a last goodbye.
21.00 Balloons: UP (PP1 – Crossing the Threshold)

Threshold Seq.: Up & away to South America (7mins)

21.30 House takes off: Postcard from Paradise Falls!
22.00 Flying through the city.
24.00 Knocking – Russell: “Please let me in”

25.30 Russell steering – sees cumulo-nimbus… 26.30 Storm, causing damage. Carl knocked out.

ACT TWO

C. Moving House across the plateau (12mins)

28.30 Carl wakes up. Russell: I thought you were dead!
29.30 Descending, landing the house in the fog.
31.00 Fog clears: Paradise Falls on the other side!
33.00 I’ll assist you over there. Only 3 days of helium.

34.30 Dogs POV, after bird. Hearing aid noise stops them.
35.30 Russell’s wilderness toilet: dig hole before or after?
36.30 Russell has found the snipe – does it like chocolate?
37.30 Bird likes Russell. Russell wants to keep it: ‘Kevin’.

D. Dug and other dogs (9mins)

40.00 Voice: Are you OK over there? Dug.
41.00 Dog is trained. Speak! “Hi there.”
42.30 Other dogs and Alpha dog
44.30 Muntz: locate them. The dogs leave.
45.00 Trying to get rid of the bird: escape.
46.30 Setting up the tent in the rain.
47.30 Russell tells of his absent father and foster mum.

E. Entering the Spirit of Adventure (12mins)

49.00 Kevin calling (can’t read my notes ;)
50.30 Kevin back with the dogs
52.30 Carl & Russell surrounded by dogs – Muntz
54.30 Muntz: no longer intruders; guests

55.00 The Spirit of Adventure zeppelin
55.30 The museum
56.30 Dinner served.
57.00 They called me a fraud: bring the creature home.
58.30 Russell talks about his bird.
59.00 Muntz sees the bird.
60.00 Dessert. Kevin calls from the house.

F. Muntz goes after Kevin (12mins)

61.00 Muntz sends dogs after Kevin. Chase.
63.00 Kevin injured, his chicks are calling.
65.30 Russell: boring stuff I remember the most.
66.30 Kevin caught, Muntz sets fire to the house.
67.30 The dogs take Kevin.
68.00 Russell: You gave away Kevin!
69.00 Carl pulls house to Pacific Falls.
70.00 Russell throws his badges in the sand.
70.30 House stuck. Carl goes inside, memories.
71.00 Finds entries in Book of Adventure.
72.00 Ellie’s photos: her life was an adventure.

ACT THREE

G. Climax: Carl vs. Charles (12mins)

73.30 Russell on leafblower to rescue Kevin.
74.00 Carl throws old stuff out to get the house flying.
74.30 Flying again.
75.00 Dug: “hiding under the porch because I love you.”
76.30 The dogs have Russell “small mail man”.
77.00 Russell to be kicked out, Carl saves him.
78.00 On board, past the dogs, find Kevin.
78.30 Distracting the dogs: Carl throws the ball.
79.00 Russell falls.
80.00 Dogs attack in planes.

80.30 Charles attacks Carl with the sword. 81.00 Carl escapes with Kevin.
82.00 Alpha dog caught. Dug is now Alpha Dog.
82.30 Fighter pilot dogs distracted: “Squirrel!”
83.30 Carl, Dug & Russell on top of the zeppelin.
84.00 Muntz attacks with gun.
85.00 Muntz falls to his death.
85.30 ” Just a house.” Descending into the clouds.

H. Return with the Elixir (3mins)

86.00 Kevin reunited with her chicks.
87.00 Our friends flying the zeppelin.

87.30 Explorers’ Graduation.
88.30 Zeppelin parked for icecream.
89.00 The house has landed on Pacific Falls.
THE END.

NOTES ON ACT ONE

UP has a classic 3-Act structure Hero’s Journey. The only journey stage that may not be immediately clear is the Inciting Incident (Call to Adventure).

What is the Inciting Incident (I.I.) in UP?

If the Adventure is the trip to Paradise Falls, then the strongest Call is surely Ellie’s “I’m going where he’s going”.

However, this is not the trigger to the story of UP. It only triggers the Prologue journey – thank you James – leading to Carl’s WOUND: at the end of this (seemingly) failed journey, Carl Fredricksen is a jaded senior, frustrated because his desire for adventure has ultimately left him alone, disappointed and unfulfilled. He is doomed to spend the rest of his life without longing, without passion for anything. Because passion will lead to disappointment.

This frustration over the things he never did is Carl’s flaw, the weakness he needs to overcome.

To understand the true Call to Adventure, let’s see in what way Carl’s Ordinary World is a fragile equilibrium. Then, the Call to Adventure (or I.I.) is the collapse of this untenable situation.

The one shot that shows the fragile equilibrium is the zoom out from Carl’s front porch to show the building site surrounding the house. Once we know that Carl will only give up his house over his dead body, we understand that something major is waiting to happen here.

The first event heralding the call to adventure is the brochure for the ‘Shady Oaks’ retirement village.

It reminds Carl that his time is running out and he needs to act now if he wants to do something with his life. But this is not the type of incident that immediately changes his life irreversibly.

So Carl refuses the call until a stronger Inciting Incident happens: a truck backs into his mailbox and causes a continuous series of consequences, leading to Carl’s decision to finally depart to South America.

It means that Russell comes knocking on Carl’s door at the exact moment in the story when we’re expecting the Mentor to turn up. Is Russell the mentor? It’s an ironic reversal of the archetypes but I think he is a combination of the Reflection character and the Mentor.

What are your thoughts on the story of UP? Please comment below!

Here is some awesome stuff for the fans of the UP artwork.

Did you see UP in 2D or 3D? Which do you prefer? Vote here.

The Story Department screenwriting workshops are travelling across three Australian states again.
Make sure you’re part of it this time around!

• Sat 09 Jan – Sat 05 Jun: Sydney Screenwriters Meetup
  Talk structure and watch films and clips.
  (every first Saturday of the month, $5)
• Fri 15 Jan – Sun 17 Jan: Mark Piper Exclusive Workshop
  Seasoned industry professionals on casting, acting, voice, auditioning, camera, screenwriting and editing. ($695)
• Sun 14 Feb: “3-8-12 The Hollywood Formula.”
  A brand new workshop for those brave enough to face what many Australian writers are afraid of. ($165)
• Sun 21 Feb – Sun 20 Jun : Screen Story Uni
  A training program dedicated to essential, learnable aspects of the screenwriting trade. (every 3rd Sunday o/t month for five months, $495)
• Sun 28 Feb: “Creating Cinema that Sells”
  Full day workshop for filmmakers, organised by the new Australian Film Festival (venue and cost TBC).
• Sat 27 /Sun 28 Mar: “Screen Story Weekend” – Gold Coast
  Semi-Annual Story weekend at the International Film College (IFC)
  Screen Story / Hero’s Journey (cost TBC)
• Sun 11 Apr: “The Damon Touch – Story for Actors”
  A new workshop for actors who are determined to take control of their creative careers. ($165)
• Sat 22/Sun 23 May: “Screen Story Weekend” – ACT
  Semi-Annual Story weekend at the Canberra Writers Centre, Gorman House.
  Screen Story / Hero’s Journey (cost TBC)

“Karel Segers is Australia’s Robert McKee”
– Stephen J De Jager
Creative Director, Roadshow Entertainment

Past Story/Script Workshops:

Sat 5 Sep: Structure Your Screenplay to Sell (Metro Screen Sydney)
Sat 12 Sep: Structure Your Screenplay to Sell (Metro Screen Sydney)
Sat 31 Oct: Screen Story (IFC – Gold Coast)
Sun 1 Nov: The Hero’s Journey (IFC – Gold Coast)
Wed 08 Apr: Story Lightning Presentation (Sydney)
Sat 18 Apr: Screen Story (Gold Coast)
Sun 19 Apr: Hero’s Journey (Gold Coast)
Sun 26 Apr: Screen Story (Sydney)
Sun 03 May: Hero’s Journey (Sydney)

“Karel is my go-to guy for Script Development and/or assessment. His grasp of story and structure is second to none.
- Michael Favelle
International Sales Agent
Top 10 Person to Watch in 2009

Sat 9 May: Screen Story (Canberra)
Sun 10 May: Hero’s Journey (Canberra)
Sun 17 May: Adaptation (Sydney)
Sat 22 May: Short Story/Big Screen (Canberra)
Sun 23 May: Short Story/Big Screen (Canberra)

Karel Segers brilliantly conveys the best of what is currently understood about effective story telling for the cinema. His method of teaching is highly responsive, vividly supported by carefully selected visuals, and, best of all, witty and memorable.”
-Ron Cobb
Concept Artist, Writer, Director

Sat 29 May: Short Story/Big Screen (Canberra)
Sun 30 May: Short Story/Big Screen (Canberra)
Sun 21 Jun: Script Perfection (Sydney)

“I attended a course of Karel’s in 2007 and two years later the details of what I learned have stayed with me. I catch myself automatically observing films and reading books using the critical tools I learned from Karel, and most importantly – how a story could be improved.”
-Marcus Amann
Professional Writer

Sat 1 Aug: Script Perfection (Canberra)
Sun 2 Aug: Adaptation (Canberra)
Thu 6 Aug: TV Series Writing (Wagga Wagga)

Students at the Sydney Hero’s Journey Workshop on 3 May 2009.
(Photo: Lee Sheppard – Click on photo for full size)

Audience at the WIFT MWW on 22 Feb 2009.
(Photo: Jomar Reyes)

One Workshop/Seminar at Regular Rate: $165

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If choosing either of the following options, please email details of your payment to: karel@ozzywood.com, including your name, telephone number, how many and which specific seminars you are paying for.

Bank Deposit

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