Feb
18
What You’re Up Against
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I thought I should give you a flavour of the competition, for when you’re feeling a bit down.
Below is the copy of an actual query letter I received.
(names and titles have been changed to protect the innocent)
Perhaps after all you are not doing such a bad job selling your script.
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Jan
18
New Screenwriters
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Most government film agencies have funds to spend on promising new screenwriters. Often the requirements are less stringent in terms of the formal perfection of the works; the attention goes to the writer’s voice, the type of material and the mastery of a visual language.
Still you will need to get through the hurdle of the paperwork. Before getting access to tax payer’s money, a rather large amount of boxes needs to be ticked. Still, these application forms are usually not as daunting as they look.
If you have studied the questions in the application and there are still questions left, it often pays to pick up the phone and ask the people in the development department directly.
However, the most important elements of any application package for a new screenplay are the following:
- the screenplay
- the logline and/or one-paragraph synopsis
- the synopsis
- the three-page outline
- the development notes
If you are confident that you have a good story, it is paramount to make sure each of these four is in prime shape. Let’s look at them in further detail.
SCREENPLAY
ALL scripts are read. To my knowledge, this is where the first selection occurs.
This means you the screenplay’s presentation is extremely important. To improve a reader’s experience and keep the focus on the story, your script needs to be as perfect as you can get it. Proper format, no typos, ‘lots of white’ etc.
It is true that if you have a formally deficient screenplay but a rock solid story, you will ultimately find the money. If you have a dead-boring story written in a perfect, super polished screenplay, no-one will care. Still, your script may be eliminated from a funding round just because it looks un-professional.
The external reader in charge of making the first selection may decide that if you are not disciplined to even get something as simple as the format right, you are not serious about screenwriting in the first place.
LOGLINE
It tells in only a few words what your story is about. Twenty-five-words-or-less, ideally. If you can’t do this, most likely any future sales people will have trouble pitching your story.
The logline is a one sentence or one paragraph summary of your story, sometimes called the elevator pitch. Clever writers have used this tool during development and now is the time for the world to admire the brilliant gem.
The logline is so powerful, it doesn’t just tell us what the story is about, it also demonstrates your clarity in terms of vision and plot.
Think of it like this: if you give the people deciding on development or production investment the most powerful, exciting line summarising your story, you can almost be sure your story will pop in their minds before any others. You have already half won the money.
SYNOPSIS
Even if the synopsis is not used for the first elimination, a badly written synopsis will most likely throw you out of the race at some point. Once a first selection is made, readers will need to refresh their minds and in stead of re-reading the entire script, they may look at the synopsis in stead. If yours is sloppy and uninspiring, this may reflect on the discussions about the script in the shortlisting stage.
I am of the opinion that significant tax money could be saved if funding agencies would behave like the rest of the film industry and make a selection based on the synopsis first. It is a time-efficient and highly reliable tool to assess the story in a reasonable level of detail without the need to read for hours. A badly constructed story can be a good read but ultimately it may waste everyone’s time.
Finally, one page is one page. Don’t cheat. If necessary, cut out all subplots and focus purely on the protagonist’s journey.
THREE PAGE OUTLINE
Here you can go into more detail about any side-characters and their journeys. If the synopsis suffered in terms of its style because of the struggle to get the essential plot points in, here you can be more evocative. Give us a flavour of the genre of the film by using expressive language. However, this is still not a treatment: no dialogue or detailed description.
DEVELOPMENT NOTES
Honesty first. Know your strengths and weaknesses. Don’t over-sell. Be clear about what you want to achieve in the next draft. The development notes are hugely important and in all fairness, it is not really an area where you can be on your own. It always pays to hire a professional to look over the application materials as the competition is fierce and many of your competitors will have worked through their submission with the help of a script consultant.
These notes should provide the SWOT Analysis of your work. Why do you believe it will attract millions of viewers? Why is it worth spending money on further development? And most importantly: what are you intending to do next? For a writer, it is hard to judge the merits of your own work. Here you will need help from an experienced reader, another writer or a script editor.
One more piece of advice: start writing these documents EARLY. Don’t wait until the last days before the deadline. Not only will you save yourself the stress and the danger of having documents riddled with typos. When you have the time to let your application materials rest for a week, two, three, you will have time to write another seriously improved draft. You will pick up on weaknesses you didn’t see in the first place. The final result will be 200% better.
Back to work. Good luck!
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Nov
8
Logline: Examples
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A 17th Century tale of adventure on the Caribbean Sea where the roguish yet charming Captain Jack Sparrow joins forces with a young blacksmith in a gallant attempt to rescue the Governor of England’s daughter and reclaim his ship. (2/5: no inner journey, no antagonist)
Toula’s family has exactly three traditional values – “Marry a Greek boy, have Greek babies, and feed everyone.” When she falls in love with a sweet, but WASPy guy, Toula struggles to get her family to accept her fiance, while she comes to terms with her own heritage. (4/5: outer + inner)
A young man and woman from different social classes fall in love aboard an ill-fated voyage at sea. (4/5)
When a Roman general is betrayed and his family murdered by a corrupt prince, he comes to Rome as a gladiator to seek his revenge. (3/5: no inner, opposite of what it really is “‘ restore justice)
An older man is forced to deal with an ambiguous future after he enters retirement and his wife passes away. Ultimately, he finds hope as he comes to terms with his daughter’s marriage and his own life. (3/5)
A comedic portrayal of a young and broke Shakespeare who falls in love with a woman, inspiring him to write “Romeo and Juliet.” (2/5: no antagonism, only real life hook)
A journey of self-discovery by a brilliant mathematician once he was diagnosed with schizophrenia. He eventually triumphs over tragedy and receives the Nobel Prize.
An Epic tale of a 1940s New York Mafia family and their struggle to protect their empire, as the leadership switches from the father to his youngest son.
A meek and alienated little boy finds a stranded extraterrestrial and has find the courage to defy authorities to help the alien return to its home planet.
A boxer (hero) with a loser mentality (flaw) is offered a chance by the world champ (opponent) to fight for the title (lifechanging event) but, with the help of his lover (ally) must learn to see himself as a winner before he can step into the ring (battle). “Rocky.”
A jaded (flaw) WWII casino owner (hero) in Nazi-occupied Morocco sees his former lover (opponent) arrive (lifechanging event), accompanied by her husband (ally) whose heroism forces the hero to choose between his cynicism, his feeling for his ex-lover, and his once-strong feelings of patriotism (battle). “Casablanca.”
When a pathologically deceitful attorney gets zapped by his son’s birthday wish, he learns that he can no longer tell a lie even when he tries, so he must now win the biggest case of his career by being honest.
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Nov
8
Logline: Definitions
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Let’s start by saying what it isn’t.
It is not a tagline. It is not really a one-paragraph synopsis either. (and it’s definitely not a slug line)
The Australian Film Commission says:
“filmmakers are often asked to supply a one sentence version of their film story. This one sentence should give the most concentrated version possible of the story, or at least its key event.”
This definition is – to say the least – problematic. Do you know what a story’s ‘key event’ is? I don’t.
“For example, here is a one sentence plot premise for Somersault: “A teenage girl runs away from home, hoping to find herself through love, but the people she meets are as lost as she is…”
If this is the best logline possible for this film, the film does not have a story. There may be some sort of an inner journey but that is not enough for a successful film. The AFC document continues:
“This sentence is one way to describe what happens in Somersault. In this case, it gives us the starting event, implies further events and states the protagonist’s predicament.”
The writer of this statement should not give advice to filmmakers. Not only is it confusing, it is plain wrong. ‘A teenage girl runs away from home’ is most definitely NOT a ’starting event’. It is a deliberate action by that character, therefore it can not qualify for a strong inciting incident.
The Unknown Screenwriter (Unk) has a far more useful definition:
“Protagonist’s main character trait + Protagonist’s main function + main story conflict + central question + Antagonist or forces of antagonism + Protagonist’s goal and arc”
I found this for Gladiator, which is a perfect example of the above:
“The brave General Maximus, heir to the throne, is stripped from his powers and made a fugitive slave by his arch rival Commodus. In order to restore the power of the Roman Senate and avenge the murder of Marcus Aurelius he will have to fight and survive as a gladiator and ultimately confront Commodus.”
Because we have two sentences, it is not the ideal logline. But with some work, you can tighten this further without losing the essence:
“When the brave General Maximus is made a fugitive slave, he has to fight as a gladiator to confront his arch rival Commodus and restore the power of the senate.”
Unk also calls it a compass logline because:
“it’s the logline I create before I ever ever start writing. It always leads the way for me. It keeps me on track when I get off track and I tend to get off track ALL THE FUCKIN’ TIME.”
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Nov
8
Logline: Introduction
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McKee’s STORY gave me the illusion the logline is one of the last things you ever write. Why? Because during development, things can change.
Of course McKee is right. The creative process is unpredictable and you know where you start but you don’t know where you’ll end.
Really?
If you are assuming things can change SO much you will have a different logline, you may have a problem. You may not really have a story (yet).
The logline says exactly what your story is, in its purest and simplest form. It states what story you are trying to tell. If that changes, you are basically writing a different movie altogether.
One of the most exciting projects I have worked on had a problem in terms of its structure and POV. Numerous discussions with the writer lead to ever improving versions of synopsis and step outline. But we didn’t see the light at the end of the tunnel for quite a while.
One day the writer sent me a new synopsis and at the bottom of the page he had written a logline.
That day not only did we know we had a strong story, the development process suddenly found a clear direction.
Next: What is a logline? (Premium ) >>
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Nov
18
Seizing the Sword
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Once past the Ordeal, the hero is ready to Seize the Sword, says Chris Vogler. In July we received development funding for THE MORTAL COIL. Next it was selected into SPAAmart and now the AFC is funding the production of the animation ACID SUN, after only one application. It sounds like OZZYWOOD Films is seizing the sword. What is the secret? And is the Ordeal now finally over??
I have just returned from SPAAmart, Australia’s film financing market, where Wojciech and I pitched THE MORTAL COIL to twenty-four industry executives from Australia and overseas. It was only the second time ever I applied for this competitive market. One hundred percent hit rate. Luck? Possibly. But my recent string of successes cannot be ignored as an unusually high hit rate. An AFC project manager with impressive film credits recently told an audience how his applications used to be rejected at a rate of 8/1. No future for me as an AFC project manager, I guess…
If luck is one factor, what other factors are there? The talent of the writer, first and foremost. I have the honour and the pleasure of working with brilliant people. Without an interesting concept you can edit until the cows come home. THE MORTAL COIL has the support of Richard Taylor at the famous Weta Workshop in Wellington. Given the amazing track record of that effects house, their attachment is a major bonus and it helps convincing decision makers that this project will fly.
STORY VS. SCRIPT EDITING
There is no doubt in my mind that the story development approach is another crucial factor in those recent funding successes. I used to get sucked into reading, analysing and assessing screenplays. Most scripts have enough weaknesses on the scene level for a script editor to provide his money’s worth in surface level feedback. The writer takes on board all the comments and does a – often completely useless – rewrite. My rejection rate used to be higher than average until I changed my development strategy. By focusing on the story, the writer doesn’t touch the screenwriting software until the structure works. This sounds like a longer process, but the reality is just the opposite.
If there is an easier way, why do we keep getting caught in this trap? Why do we all give feedback based on the script? I believe that we are scared to tell you – the writer – to fundamentally review the story. What if you walked away to find yourself another editor? It would mean the potential loss of some hard-earned business. Will those essential story changes guarantee a movie that works? Of course not. The most quoted line in the movie industry is William Goldman’s “Nobody knows anything.” But a well-structured story will increase the chances that better people read your script and give you better feedback so you get a step closer to funding.
Once you have successfully applied the principles of story structure and you’ve made it past the Ordeal of story and script development, remember Vogler and don’t confuse the Sword with the Elixir. I, too, am fully aware that the Final Confrontation is yet to come.
SHORT FILMS AND THE PRINCIPLES OF STORY STRUCTURE
The Australian Film Commission is paying $60,000 towards the production of ACID SUN, the first project I took on as a producer after becoming a father late 2004. Parental responsibility had brought with it a greater focus and a more radical selection of projects and short films just didn’t seem to cut it any longer. “Short films no longer work as a calling card.”
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