Jul
2
Checklist: Active Protagonist
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Are you struggling with a passive protagonist? Let’s look into what causes a character to be passive.
A hero is not ‘active’ because he is constantly running, fighting, arguing etc. A hero is not ‘passive’ because he is never running, fighting, arguing etc.
Here is a list of points that in my view will have a positive impact on the protagonist’s ‘activity’ level.
Like any other principle, there will be numerous examples of successful films that stray from these. It doesn’t mean you can just ignore them.
1. The hero must have strong will power.
2. The hero should have a clear goal.
3. The hero should state the goal explicitly (on or before p.25 for feature films).
4. The hero must not be forced, but chooses to pursue the goal.
5. Once the goal is known, the hero should stay on the case.
6. The hero can only be distracted because of a new, stronger goal.
7. Keep showing us the Hheroero really wants to achieve the goal.
8. Make sure the obstacles in the way are significant.
9. Stay in the
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Feb
16
How important are format and style?
Filed Under Free Content, Story Basics | 3 Comments
The first step for many aspiring screenwriters is to purchase a piece of pricey screenwriting software.
Some call it retail therapy.
You are not a screenwriter until you have made that sacrifice, until you have invested money in your career, right?
I call it a waste of $250.
Your first draft should be a quick and dirty braindump. “Don’t get it right, get it written,” dixit Art Arthur.
Of course, it has its advantages to write your first draft in some sort of a script format. See it as an exercise in format and style, plus you have a rough idea of the screen time.
However, for this they have invented free MS Word templates, style sheets or even better: Celtx.
Format and style are totally irrelevant.
If you are fiddling to get the wording of your action right, to make your characters sound like ‘real people’, to come up with really cool visuals, you are wasting your time.
If this is your first draft, nobody will ever see it, except your story editor or script consultant. And if the first script feedback is all about format, style, dialogue and scene construction, you haven’t given the editor the right brief.
Or perhaps you should change editors.
You should be working on that story, which currently may not even be a story yet. If McKee’s statistics are right, ninety percent of what you have written will go. Won’t make it to the screen. At least not for this film.
Now, because of my emphasis on story, it may seem as if I think the presentation of the screenplay is less important.
But can you afford to shop around an excellent story but scripted in a way that looks sloppy and rushed?
Of course you can’t.
I was talking about early drafts.
Once you are sending a script for consideration to producers, studios or talent, it has to be immaculate. Nothing must distract from a smooth read.
Your formatting has to be completely in line with the standards of the country (Letter format if you’re based in the US, A4 elsewhere), the company (if it’s a major studio) or even the person (if it’s, say, Spielberg) you are sending the script to.
Why am I so paranoid about this?
Because others are.
Imagine this: a reader or executive has just read an ‘okay’ story. But it was a terrific read: an elegantly flowing script, no typos, great style, a fast read with “lots of white”.
Your script is next.
Your story is on par with the previous one, but by page 10 this reader has found three typos, a couple of “we see”’s and some awkward sluglines.
Your story may have had the same potential. Yes, it could have been produced for less money and audiences might have loved the movie better.
Still, you’re out.
The other writer might have been equally talented; he was more professional. If you want to play with the pros, you’ll have to be ready to write fast, re-write fast, and keep the same level of professionalism. If you can’t even get that first spec script right – which they know you have laboured over for years – you’re not up for the challenge.
And guess what: in the books of this reader, producer or company, not just your script but even you may be history. They probably have a sufficient amount of fresh offerings every day so they feel perfectly happy to bar you from ever submitting anything ever again.
If you are serious about earning six or seven figure fees in your new career, prove it. Before you send out your script, invest a few hundred dollars in having it read and polished by a pro.
Now…
Did you just realise your script has gone out to more than one company? Like… all of them?
Bad format and style can kill your career.
Better start thinking about a cool ‘nom de plume’.
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Feb
5
First, Break All the Rules
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When I asked this student which one thing she remembered above anything else, she replied: “That you can break the rules, and get away with it.” She was not my student. In itself there’s nothing wrong with trying, but it saddens me that Heath Ledger’s last Australian film, Candy, was an example of a film that broke the rules. And failed.
I am not sure which film this student had in mind as a successful example of non-conventional structure, but I bet you it was PULP FICTION. Ever since 1994, filmmakers have been hoping to get away with it in the same way Tarantino did. In my view PF has done far more damage to the craft of screenwriting than its success will ever justify. The irony is that PULP FICTION is relatively conventional in its structure, just not linear. Check Linda Aronson’s book SCREENWRITING UPDATED.
But all that is completely beside the point. The point is that writers often have this immature attitude. “But my script is different.” Another one that keeps coming back: “Hollywood only makes crap, audiences really don’t want to see that stuff anymore.” This one I only heard today: “It all works in my head, the film experience will be very different from the script!”
Call me conservative but the more I learn about film, the more I am convinced audiences are conditioned by an increasingly structured type of filmmaking. Time and time again I hear people rejecting structure one minute, and raving about highly structured films the next.
Ever since the story of a boy and a princess in space 30 years ago, audiences – whether you like it or not – have been conditioned by a more sophisticated version of the 3-act structure, i.e. the Hero’s Journey. And this process has only been reinforced since that paradigm was written down by Christopher Vogler. (I almost called The Hero’s Journey ‘a structure’ but it was never really intended to be. Yet it can often be elegantly blended with the three act structure.)
LEARN THE RULES, THEN BREAK THE RULES
Despite my endless complaints about Australian writers, I have had the pleasure and honour of meeting and working with dozens of writers who are dedicated to learning the craft. They read, study, analyse, attend seminars etc.
Most of them learn with the intention of later applying what they have learned. Others take the basics on board and explore ways of being original and creative within the boundaries. Yet others fully intend to knowingly break the rules with their first screenplay.
Now that may be unwise.
The statement above reading “Learn the Rules, then Break the Rules” is in my view a dangerous one. I would rather replace it with something like:
“Master the Rules, then Bend Them.”
It often happens that screenwriters only get their first screenplay made after years of learning the craft. When the film finally hits the screen, they realises that although they believed they had learned the skills, they hadn’t. An audience is a funny thing. You want them to feel this way, but they respond that way.
As a writer you won’t know if you actually master the craft until the film goes out and is successful. Believing that you can learn the rules and break them with your first script, is a dangerous illusion.
Of course every year there will be at least one success story of a breakthrough screenplay that didn’t apply the principles. Everybody will write and talk about that one person. Bottomline: if you are in this game for the long term, it pays to look at the statistics and then review your chances.
THE ONE THAT GOT AWAY
I am currently working with a client on a screenplay that reminded me in some peripheral way of the French rural drama Jean de Florette, starring Gerard Depardieu and the late Yves Montand*. I watched the film again with my wife and paid attention to its structure.
Although I had seen the film at least twice before, what I found out this time, literally blew me away.
The screenplay was adapted by director Claude Berri and veteran scribe Gerard Brach, from a hugely successful original French classic by Marcel Pagnol. The film had been a breakout arthouse hit across the world, with major prizes in its home country but also in England and the U.S. where it was nominated for a Golden Globe.
My wife and I had seen this film last about ten years ago, yet neither of us remembered much of the plot. We did remember the characters and even individual scenes. Not the plot.
Why??
Because the structure is quite extraordinary.
The whole film is structured following a text-book three-act structure. Inciting incident, first act turning point, second act are all ‘tres formulaic’. But what seemed unusual to me, and the primary reason why I think this film still looked so fresh to us: the story is structured around the antagonist’s journey.
My advise: don’t try this at home. As a beginning screenwriter, make sure you try your hand at convential material before you venture into this type of territory. The screenwriters of Jean de Florette were both highly experienced, with many successes to their names. Unfortunately, although the follow-up to Jean de Florette (Manon des Sources) may have brought a more upbeat closing to the rural saga, the writing was less inspiring.
When you have the chance, do watch both films, analyse these structural exceptions and asks yourself what is different, why this one works and the other doesn’t (so well).
It is always fascinating.
*Nice coincidence: when I was out the following night my wife randomly picked the Marilyn Monroe classic “Let’s make Love” from our DVD shelf and watched it, only to find it had – again – Yves Montand in a major role.
THE WORKSHOPS WORK
More than one week to go until 10 February and the Sydney story workshop is sold out. This weekend I’ll be teaching for the first time in Queensland, at the International Film College. My next Sydney Workshop will be on Sunday 13 April and bookings are open now.
The emphasis of the workshops has shifted slightly. The first sessions were heavily theoretical, focusing on aspects of the 3-act structure. Lately I have shifted towards more practical examples from a wider diversity of films, both old and recent, across completely different genres: from action movie to comedy, from Touch of Evil (1958) and Die Hard (1988) to The Incredibles (2004) and The Lives of Others (2006).
Some people find that the material taught in these classes is advanced. Let me tell you this: it is not. It represents the bare essentials. It is the absolute minimum you need to know if you want to even consider breaking into the scene. That doesn’t mean that it will sink in the first time around. You will still need to watch films, analyse them and apply what you have learned to your own work.
Next, you will need to call in the assistance from a professional. But you will be so much better prepared to enter into a dialogue about your work if you have laid the foundations by learning the terminology. Not only will it speed up your development, it will potentially save you hundreds or thousands of dollars as your script editor will talk to you about your script on your level.
THE PREMIUM EDITION
The Premium Edition has had visitors from New York to the country of Jean de Florette (Provence, South of France), from Australia’s East and West Coasts to the City Library of Amsterdam. Meanwhile, the first paying subscribers have signed up, from Australia and overseas!
Eight users are online while I am writing this, of which no less than seven guests and a few search engine spiders. Check it out for yourself by subscribing for a year at only the cost of one cappuccino a fortnight.
Among the newly added content, Premium Members now have also access to a list of mistakes I have come across in screenplays lately, as well as a few suggestions on how to avoid them.
In the coming days and weeks new articles will be added and I will be conducting an interview with Michael Hauge (who is coming to Australia this May) and will talk about the dangers of mystery.
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Feb
2
Selected Bibliography
Filed Under Premium Content, Script Development, Story Basics | Leave a Comment
This bibliography I often include in my course notes.
It contains publications that I regularly consult or quote from.
Aronson, Linda: Scriptwriting Updated, Allen & Unwin
Field, Syd: Screenplay, Dell Publishing
Gulino, Paul: Screenwriting: The Sequence Approach, Continuum
Hauge, Michael: Writing Screenplays That Sell, Harper Resource
Howard, David & Edward Mabley: The Tools of Screenwriting, St.Martin’s Griffin
Jeffrey, Tom: Film Business, Allen & Unwin
McKee, Robert: Story, Harper Collins
Miller, William: Screenwriting, Virgin Publishing
Seger, Linda: Making a Good Script Great, Samuel French Trade
Tierno, Michael: Aristotle’s Poetics for Screenwriters, Hyperion
Truffaut, Francois: Hitchcock, Simon & Schuster, Inc.
Vogler, Christopher: The Writer’s Journey, Michael Wiese Productions
Voytilla, Stuart: Myth and the Movies, Michael Wiese Productions
The screenwriting books in italics are available through mail order from www.filmtvbookshop.com.au as well as the following books or audio CD’s on screenwriting:
Screenwriters Bible, David Trottier
Save The Cat!, Blake Snyder
Save The Cat Goes to the Movies, Blake Snyder
Screenwriters Masterclass, Kevin Scott
Scenario, Tudor Gates
Screenplay Story Analysis, Asher Garfinkel
How To Adapt Anything Into A Screenplay, Richard Krevolin
Psychology For Screenwriters, William Indick
Screenwriting, Richard Walter
The Scriptselling Game, Kathie Fong Yoneda
Scriptwriting For The Screen, Charlie Moritz
Screenwriters Guide to Agents and Managers, John Scott Lewinski
Screenwriting Is Storytelling, Kate Wright
Perfect Screenplay, Katherine Atwell Herbert
Screenwriting For Dummies, Laura Schellhardt
Idiot’s Guide to Screenwriting, Skip Press
Adaptations, Denise Faithfull
Writing The Second Act, Michael Halperin
Writing The Short Film, Pat Cooper & Ken Dancyger
Writing The Killer Treatment, Michael Halperin
Top Shelf 1,Greg Haddrick
Writing Television Comedy, Jerry Rannow
Write To TV, Martie Cook
Writing The TV Drama Series, Pamela Douglas
Raindance Writers Lab, Elliot Grove
Story Audio CD, Robert McKee
Anatomy Of Story, John Truby
A more extensive list for those interested in myth and Hero’s Journey:
The Hero
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Feb
1
Workshop: The Structure of Success
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TBA August 2009 – 9:30am-5:30pm – CSGPN Training Room
Level 1, 158 Liverpool Rd, ASHFIELD NSW 2131
Contact: 0407 955 555 – karel@ozzywood.com
“Structure is everything.”
-William Goldman
WHAT YOU WILL LEARN:
This one day intensive and entertaining workshop teaches the difference between stories and scripts with screen potential and those that are just a fun read. Do you really know what the ‘3-act-structure’ stands for? Why has drama never worked without a solid structure? What could save your screenplay, that the story gurus have overlooked? The workshop is packed with insights and clips from recent and classic movies plus references from the most influential screenwriting books.
Click here to book now and save 20%
BACKGROUND:
The great careers in our industry are not built on volume of work but rather an informed choice of projects. To make it in movies, it is not enough to be able to read and write imaginative scripts. To connect with an audience, you need to know what lies under the surface and learn the skills to shape the story. This applies equally to writers, directors, actors and even producers.
A recent report revealed that Australian filmmakers are NOT disadvantaged in our home market. We CAN take our fair share of the almost one billion dollars spent annually at our box office – provided we care about our audience. The workshop was designed to teach you how audiences experience stories on the screen. This knowledge will empower you to make decisions that will not only help your current project but your entire career.
ESSENTIAL FOR FILMMAKERS:
Without the knowledge and skills taught in this course, filmmakers stand a better chance of winning the lottery than making it big in movies. Story structure is not just another aspect of screenwriting. It is the stuff that makes or breaks movie careers.
Combine courses and save up to 25%
INTENDED AUDIENCE:
Screenwriters – How to turn your idea into a story for the screen? How to go from an early draft to a winning script?
Actors – Which projects are worth fighting for, particularly if you are working for cheap/free? Does your part support the story – or will it be cut?
Producers & Directors – Where lies the heart of your project? How to select unique projects with commercial potential? How to structure your story to entice investors?
THE LOCATION:
The CSGPN Training Room in Ashfield.
By car from the city: take Parramatta Rd and turn left into Ashfield. CSGPN is 800ms further on your left, on the corner next to Blockbusters.
By train from Central: 15mins on the train, then a short 3mins walk. Ample parking available.
Here are more detailed directions.
COURSE FEE:
- $165: handouts, coffee/tea, script software, 3 months Premium Ed.
- $132: concessions % early bird (payment received 2 weeks before event).
- $99: for students (call or email to check eligibility first)
Registrations are strictly limited to 20 participants. Click here to receive registration information via email.
Student? Click here for your 40% discount!
ABOUT THE TUTOR:
Executive Producer and Story Analyst Karel Segers, a Licentiate of Germanic Philology (University of Louvain, Belgium) has produced three short dramas and co-produced a documentary and two feature films. As an EP, Karel has facilitated project funding from both government and private investors. Over the past few years he has consulted to award-winning writers, directors and producers on films in development as well as post-production. His views are published in The Story Dept., the undisputed #1 blog on screenwriting in Australia. Both nominees for the 2007 AWG Monte Miller Award were Karel’s clients.
WHAT OTHERS SAY:
“Karel Segers brilliantly conveys the best of what is currently understood about effective story telling for the cinema. His method of teaching is highly responsive, vividly supported by carefully selected visuals, and, best of all, witty and memorable.”
-Ron Cobb
Concept Artist, Writer, Director
“I attended a course of Karel’s in 2007 and two years later the details of what I learned have stayed with me. I catch myself automatically observing films and reading books using the critical tools I learned from Karel, and most importantly – how a story could be improved.”
-Marcus Amann
Professional Writer
“I enjoyed the day enormously and thought you were just wonderful. My knowledge and understanding of films was expanded enormously, and many things I understood instinctively but had never heard articulated about the art of storytelling were nailed firmly in place.
It was fantastic!”
-Kate Forsyth
Best-selling Author ‘Witches of Eileanan’
“Karel is the new breed of Teachers who not only conveys the technicality so effortlessly, but makes you want to write your story. He is passionate, focused and he knows his stuff. Karel you Rock, dude!”
-Gerard John
Producer / Entrepreneur
“I came to you with a bunch of scenes in the hope of finding a story and when I look back I’m still surprised at how far we have come. Now the script has won the 2007 Monte Miller award. Thanks again Karel.”
-Nathan Fielding
Winner 2007 AWG Monte Miller Award
“He never gets distracted with the little stuff that tends to fix itself when the important parts are working harmoniously. Karel is a rare beast amongst story consultants – a film literate and long-standing aficionado of many film genres. I hold Karel in very high regard.”
-Kieran Galvin
Film Director / Screenwriter
“Karel is my go-to guy for Script Development and/or assessment. He has a unique insight into the process and any projects I bring him are always infinitely improved by the time we have finished. His grasp of story and structure is second to none. I have recommended his services to several colleagues in the past, all of whom have been very satisfied with the results.”
- Michael Favelle
International Sales Agent
Top 10 Person to Watch in 2009
“Karel Segers is Australia’s Robert McKee”
– Stephen J De Jager
Creative Director, Roadshow Entertainment
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Jan
18
New Screenwriters
Filed Under Free Content, Script Development | Leave a Comment
Most government film agencies have funds to spend on promising new screenwriters. Often the requirements are less stringent in terms of the formal perfection of the works; the attention goes to the writer’s voice, the type of material and the mastery of a visual language.
Still you will need to get through the hurdle of the paperwork. Before getting access to tax payer’s money, a rather large amount of boxes needs to be ticked. Still, these application forms are usually not as daunting as they look.
If you have studied the questions in the application and there are still questions left, it often pays to pick up the phone and ask the people in the development department directly.
However, the most important elements of any application package for a new screenplay are the following:
- the screenplay
- the logline and/or one-paragraph synopsis
- the synopsis
- the three-page outline
- the development notes
If you are confident that you have a good story, it is paramount to make sure each of these four is in prime shape. Let’s look at them in further detail.
SCREENPLAY
ALL scripts are read. To my knowledge, this is where the first selection occurs.
This means you the screenplay’s presentation is extremely important. To improve a reader’s experience and keep the focus on the story, your script needs to be as perfect as you can get it. Proper format, no typos, ‘lots of white’ etc.
It is true that if you have a formally deficient screenplay but a rock solid story, you will ultimately find the money. If you have a dead-boring story written in a perfect, super polished screenplay, no-one will care. Still, your script may be eliminated from a funding round just because it looks un-professional.
The external reader in charge of making the first selection may decide that if you are not disciplined to even get something as simple as the format right, you are not serious about screenwriting in the first place.
LOGLINE
It tells in only a few words what your story is about. Twenty-five-words-or-less, ideally. If you can’t do this, most likely any future sales people will have trouble pitching your story.
The logline is a one sentence or one paragraph summary of your story, sometimes called the elevator pitch. Clever writers have used this tool during development and now is the time for the world to admire the brilliant gem.
The logline is so powerful, it doesn’t just tell us what the story is about, it also demonstrates your clarity in terms of vision and plot.
Think of it like this: if you give the people deciding on development or production investment the most powerful, exciting line summarising your story, you can almost be sure your story will pop in their minds before any others. You have already half won the money.
SYNOPSIS
Even if the synopsis is not used for the first elimination, a badly written synopsis will most likely throw you out of the race at some point. Once a first selection is made, readers will need to refresh their minds and in stead of re-reading the entire script, they may look at the synopsis in stead. If yours is sloppy and uninspiring, this may reflect on the discussions about the script in the shortlisting stage.
I am of the opinion that significant tax money could be saved if funding agencies would behave like the rest of the film industry and make a selection based on the synopsis first. It is a time-efficient and highly reliable tool to assess the story in a reasonable level of detail without the need to read for hours. A badly constructed story can be a good read but ultimately it may waste everyone’s time.
Finally, one page is one page. Don’t cheat. If necessary, cut out all subplots and focus purely on the protagonist’s journey.
THREE PAGE OUTLINE
Here you can go into more detail about any side-characters and their journeys. If the synopsis suffered in terms of its style because of the struggle to get the essential plot points in, here you can be more evocative. Give us a flavour of the genre of the film by using expressive language. However, this is still not a treatment: no dialogue or detailed description.
DEVELOPMENT NOTES
Honesty first. Know your strengths and weaknesses. Don’t over-sell. Be clear about what you want to achieve in the next draft. The development notes are hugely important and in all fairness, it is not really an area where you can be on your own. It always pays to hire a professional to look over the application materials as the competition is fierce and many of your competitors will have worked through their submission with the help of a script consultant.
These notes should provide the SWOT Analysis of your work. Why do you believe it will attract millions of viewers? Why is it worth spending money on further development? And most importantly: what are you intending to do next? For a writer, it is hard to judge the merits of your own work. Here you will need help from an experienced reader, another writer or a script editor.
One more piece of advice: start writing these documents EARLY. Don’t wait until the last days before the deadline. Not only will you save yourself the stress and the danger of having documents riddled with typos. When you have the time to let your application materials rest for a week, two, three, you will have time to write another seriously improved draft. You will pick up on weaknesses you didn’t see in the first place. The final result will be 200% better.
Back to work. Good luck!
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