Jan
18
New Screenwriters
Filed Under Free Content, Script Development | Leave a Comment
Most government film agencies have funds to spend on promising new screenwriters. Often the requirements are less stringent in terms of the formal perfection of the works; the attention goes to the writer’s voice, the type of material and the mastery of a visual language.
Still you will need to get through the hurdle of the paperwork. Before getting access to tax payer’s money, a rather large amount of boxes needs to be ticked. Still, these application forms are usually not as daunting as they look.
If you have studied the questions in the application and there are still questions left, it often pays to pick up the phone and ask the people in the development department directly.
However, the most important elements of any application package for a new screenplay are the following:
- the screenplay
- the logline and/or one-paragraph synopsis
- the synopsis
- the three-page outline
- the development notes
If you are confident that you have a good story, it is paramount to make sure each of these four is in prime shape. Let’s look at them in further detail.
SCREENPLAY
ALL scripts are read. To my knowledge, this is where the first selection occurs.
This means you the screenplay’s presentation is extremely important. To improve a reader’s experience and keep the focus on the story, your script needs to be as perfect as you can get it. Proper format, no typos, ‘lots of white’ etc.
It is true that if you have a formally deficient screenplay but a rock solid story, you will ultimately find the money. If you have a dead-boring story written in a perfect, super polished screenplay, no-one will care. Still, your script may be eliminated from a funding round just because it looks un-professional.
The external reader in charge of making the first selection may decide that if you are not disciplined to even get something as simple as the format right, you are not serious about screenwriting in the first place.
LOGLINE
It tells in only a few words what your story is about. Twenty-five-words-or-less, ideally. If you can’t do this, most likely any future sales people will have trouble pitching your story.
The logline is a one sentence or one paragraph summary of your story, sometimes called the elevator pitch. Clever writers have used this tool during development and now is the time for the world to admire the brilliant gem.
The logline is so powerful, it doesn’t just tell us what the story is about, it also demonstrates your clarity in terms of vision and plot.
Think of it like this: if you give the people deciding on development or production investment the most powerful, exciting line summarising your story, you can almost be sure your story will pop in their minds before any others. You have already half won the money.
SYNOPSIS
Even if the synopsis is not used for the first elimination, a badly written synopsis will most likely throw you out of the race at some point. Once a first selection is made, readers will need to refresh their minds and in stead of re-reading the entire script, they may look at the synopsis in stead. If yours is sloppy and uninspiring, this may reflect on the discussions about the script in the shortlisting stage.
I am of the opinion that significant tax money could be saved if funding agencies would behave like the rest of the film industry and make a selection based on the synopsis first. It is a time-efficient and highly reliable tool to assess the story in a reasonable level of detail without the need to read for hours. A badly constructed story can be a good read but ultimately it may waste everyone’s time.
Finally, one page is one page. Don’t cheat. If necessary, cut out all subplots and focus purely on the protagonist’s journey.
THREE PAGE OUTLINE
Here you can go into more detail about any side-characters and their journeys. If the synopsis suffered in terms of its style because of the struggle to get the essential plot points in, here you can be more evocative. Give us a flavour of the genre of the film by using expressive language. However, this is still not a treatment: no dialogue or detailed description.
DEVELOPMENT NOTES
Honesty first. Know your strengths and weaknesses. Don’t over-sell. Be clear about what you want to achieve in the next draft. The development notes are hugely important and in all fairness, it is not really an area where you can be on your own. It always pays to hire a professional to look over the application materials as the competition is fierce and many of your competitors will have worked through their submission with the help of a script consultant.
These notes should provide the SWOT Analysis of your work. Why do you believe it will attract millions of viewers? Why is it worth spending money on further development? And most importantly: what are you intending to do next? For a writer, it is hard to judge the merits of your own work. Here you will need help from an experienced reader, another writer or a script editor.
One more piece of advice: start writing these documents EARLY. Don’t wait until the last days before the deadline. Not only will you save yourself the stress and the danger of having documents riddled with typos. When you have the time to let your application materials rest for a week, two, three, you will have time to write another seriously improved draft. You will pick up on weaknesses you didn’t see in the first place. The final result will be 200% better.
Back to work. Good luck!
Screenplay Checklist (Premium) >>
Learn From Other People’s Mistakes >>
Jan
7
The Secret
Filed Under Free Content, Newsletters | Leave a Comment
While you were out celebrating New Year’s Eve, I was watching David Cronenberg’s eXistenZ on DVD. Not that I’m such a pathetic hermit; it was just my wife’s fun idea of closing the Old Year. She admitted afterwards she might have been wrong. Missing the Sydney Fireworks and all that.
Meanwhile, the Story Dept. has entered its third calendar year, offering workshops, one-on-one consultancy PLUS a Premium Version of this blog, exclusive to clients and
subscribers. The Hero’s Journey continues, the obsession grows.
THE HERO’S SECRET
eXistenZ, named after a fictitious virtual reality video game, was released around the same time as THE MATRIX; the timing having been an excuse for its poor performance. I was surprised to see Roger Ebert’s review not really giving us any critical assessment of the film; all he says is:“eXistenZ’ is likely to appeal especially to computer game players”. He probably means: “It sucked but I don’t know why.”
The film remains original and entertaining but I believe the end holds a crucial mistake as it turns out our heroes have been keeping a secret from us. This goes directly against a key principle of writing for the screen: a protagonist must share with us their knowledge and emotions.
In the Premium Edition (see also below) I will look at a few more examples of heroes who are ruining box office prospects by withholding information or being unreliable for other reasons.
THE WRITER’S SECRET
When I asked one of my most loyal clients for a testimonial, he refused. I was baffled. “Karel,” he said, “if you knew where the gold was buried, would you go and tell everyone?” At first I thought that was a lame excuse, but then I had no reason NOT to believe him. He is a film industry professional who always puts his money where his mouth is. He is continuing our collaboration throughout 2008. But I’m not allowed to tell anybody.
My Unknown Client says about the story theory I’m teaching and applying during my consultancies “it’s the film industry’s best kept secret.” In many ways, he is right. Despite the title of Robert McKee’s bestselling screenwriting manual ‘STORY’, he only dedicates a relatively brief section to the principles of story structure. Many screenwriting manuals do mention the three-act structure but forget to explain why it works and why it is successful. Without a proper foundation, the 3-act structure remains dead theory.
Some people say Australian film schools are gravely deficient in the area of structure and if I am to believe my clients, many AWG script assessors tend to barely brush over it, too. In an article in The Australian last week, Joan Sauers, Billy Stoneking and Duncan Thompson blamed Australian scripts. Again. And again they forgot to mention what William Goldman said: “Story is structure”Â. I say: we have excellent writers, but they fail to structure their stories. For that reason, the drama of screenwriting is not going to save our feature films. Daytime TV has drama. Only I am not going to watch it.
My Unknown Client is right: what pretty much every screenwriter in the rest of the world knows - and what some practice -, seems to remain the best kept secret in Australia.
UPCOMING WORKSHOPS
Since September, about 60 people have attended my story workshops in NSW and the ACT. On 3 February I will be teaching my first workshop in Queensland, at the International Film College. For registration go directly to the web site of the IFC.
The next Story Workshop in Sydney will take place on Sunday 10 February at the NSW Writers Centre. For details and registration go here. The course fee is $99 for early birds (payment received on 20 January), for subscribers of this blog and for members of the NSW Writers Centre. Full registration is $125 for the day, this also includes tea and coffee, a CD with software, a glossary and a list with recommended reading.
(Note: The workshop is particularly recommended if you were thinking of hiring me as your script editor or story consultant. It introduces the essential vocabulary needed to discuss screen story and gives you an insight in the background and inspiration of my consultancy work. Workshop students also get access to the Premium version of the Story Dept. See below.)
I first recommended Celtx in October 2006. Until a year ago however, I didn’t know anybody who was actually using the software. Since then, a handful of my new clients have taken the dive and are satisfied to the extent they are not (any longer) considering purchasing a commercial package.
Celtx keeps adding new features, while it remains free to download. A great tool is the file upload feature, allowing you to save a safety copy of your work on the private and secure Celtx servers. If you wish to make your script known to the world, you can make the file public. You don’t have to.
Recently a client wanted to import a Word document into Celtx. The software doesn’t provide for this (yet) but the support pages describe a method, which - in my case - worked beautifully.
And thanks to Mike Jones I now know you pronounce Celtx with a ‘k’. The name actually stands for: “Crew, Equipment, Location, Talent and XML”. The guys behind it don’t call it screenwriting software, but ‘media production software’.
SCRIPT LAYOUT AND FORMAT
The main raison-d’etre for script software is to get the formatting right. Unfortunately there are still a myriad of conventions that are not automatically dealt with and if you don’t get them right, you are not considered a pro. Yet another reason why not to spend large amounts of money on software until you are actually making money writing.
Don’t get me wrong: you MUST get your formatting absolutely right. When you pay a story or script consultant, you don’t want to waste your money on layout notes.
Three of my clients who paid for script assessments through the Australian Writers Guild or directly to one of the script services, found pages of detailed feedback on format. As a matter of fact, the space it took up in the assessment seemed disproportionate to the essential and professional story and script advice you would expect. You don’t pay between two and eight hundred dollars to find information you can perfectly find in a book under $50 or even for free on the web. The AWG are currently reviewing their script assessment service and IMHO it’s about time.
Do I have the be-all and end-all solution to your formatting nightmares? No But I might just have a little life saver.
After reading a plug on the Mystery Man blog, I ordered a copy of David Trottier’s The Screenwriter’s Bible
THE STORY DEPARTMENT: PREMIUM EDITION
The Premium Edition of The Story Dept. is now live. For the cost of a coffee every fortnight you will get:
1) Premium Membership: unrestricted access to all past and future editions of the newsletters, for one year.
2) Stage One Story Consultancy, phone feedback FREE once per year (value AUD$89).
3) Stage Two and Three at loyalty discount rate, (up to AUD$72 off the advertised rate, each).
4) One Virtual Coffee: double-shot decaf skim soy cappuccino.
For all the above you will pay the grand sum of $89 If you were planning on taking the Stage One Consultancy, it means you’re paying $0 for everything else. (Offer applies only until the publication of the next post on this blog)
Some ideas for upcoming Premium Editions:
- How to divide your story into three acts. There are many theories and it doesn’t matter which one you follow, as long as it helps you to improve your story. Fact is: many writers aren’t even sure where their stories’ acts start or end.
- Structural Analysis. It’s something I’ve long wanted to include in these articles and will soon do in the Premium Edition: Not for the sake of it but to help you identify crucial story points. I recently watched DIE HARD (#1) again and compared notes with the guys of MovieOutline.com (note: I am not endorsing the software). Interesting result…
- A bibliography of popular screenwriting books, plus notes on what I believe to be their strengths and weaknesses.
Sign up now for one year on the Subscription Page. The process is automatic and effective immediately upon payment through PayPal. You can have your temporary username and password within minutes. (Present clients may get access at no additional cost - conditions apply.)
OFFICE SPACE FOR RENT:
My friend Zoe Harvey is looking for people interested in sharing office space:
“Office space for rent at 10a Hall Street, Bondi Beach. The office is centrally located in busy Hall Street, one storey above the street and one block from Campbell Parade and the beach. There are two rooms for rent, both with polished floorboards, high ceilings and new paint. The rooms can be rented either separately or together. One room is approximately 4 x 6 metres (24m2) and the adjoining sunroom which is 2 x 8 metres (16m2). Each room is $200 per week rented separately or if rented together $300 per week.
The office is fully serviced and rent includes all electricity, gas, water and ADSL 2 connection with unlimited download. The office is networked via airport hubs. The office currently houses businesses involved in film production and graphic design. Companies involved in film, TV, video, graphics or related industries would be best suited.
Incoming tenants will need to install their own phone lines. There is no off-street parking.
For more information please contact: Greg Read on 02 - 9365 5300 during business hours or email: greg@paperbarkfilms.com or Zoe Harvey on 02 - 9130 2544 / 0403 236 252 during business hours or email: zoe@torridfilms.com”
INTERNSHIP VIDEO EDITING
Valentina Rizzutto from Milan in Italy is looking for a producer or production house that could offer her a video editing internship. If you can help, her email address: valentina.rizzuto@gmail.com.
L.A. FILM FEST LOOKING FOR OZZY SHORTS
Friend writer/filmmaker Elizabeth Ban told me the HOLLYSHORTS film festival in Hollywood is looking for Australian short films. Here are the festival details:
HollyShorts Film Festival, Marina Del Rey, CA
February 15, 2008 - Earlybird Deadline
www.hollyshorts.com/
If they receive enough submissions, they should start a section called OZZYSHORTS.
OUR NEW LOOK
As you see I have switched the template for the blog as too many people didn’t like the ‘white on black’. If you prefer the old look, let me know by joining the poll in the margin of this blog. Many thanks!
Sep
7
Elephant in the Room
Filed Under Newsletters | Leave a Comment
“Babies don’t come from babies”, Keith Jarrett said when he meant that great art isn’t inspired by other art but by life itself.
This quote shot through my mind tonight while watching the Australian film 2:37 by Murali Thalluri.
I had ordered 2:37 from Quickflix, as reference material for a feature film in post-production I am currently working on in the capacity of co-producer and story consultant. Because of some friends’ recommendations, I was really looking forward to watching young Thalluri’s directorial debut. Imagine my joy when less than forty-eight hours after putting it on my wishlist, the DVD tumbled in the letter box!
Thalluri is obviously infatuated with Gus Van Sant and more specifically ELEPHANT, of which 2:37 is a blatant pastiche. The school, the parallel points of view, the moody light, the school massacre reference, etc. How much more derivative can you be without breaking the law?
But all this could have been forgiven. Other great directors have copied shamelessly, to create something better or at least equally entertaining. I hate to admit but this umpteenth Australian case of the emperor’s new clothes is boring as hell. The best five minutes are the opening scene and this is indeed great cinema: a promising naturalistic build-up of suspense, leading to the discovery of a student’s suicide.
The dead body is not shown in the opening scene and most if not all of the movie’s anticipation (or lack thereof) hinges on that single question: “Who died?” For most of the 98mins running time, the filmmakers are trying to outsmart the audience, ultimately delivering a twist nobody could have possibly seen coming. It may work in novels but it doesn’t in movies, as evidenced by that obscenely successful whodunit whose screen adaptation embarrassed even the die hard fans: THE DA VINCI CODE. Too bad 2:37 didn’t have the same marketing pull to defy any story sense and make hundreds of millions nonetheless.
ANOTHER ELEPHANT: LACK OF DRAMA
The mystery around the identity of the suicide victim in 2:37 is equivalent to that bad whodunit in which a totally uninteresting character we have hardly seen, suddenly shows up with motive and weapon. Even when a whodunit is done well, it often lacks suspense. On this subject Hitchcock once said:
“Mystery is seldom suspenseful. In a whodunit, for instance, there is no suspense, but a sort of intellectual puzzle. The whodunit generates the kind of curiosity that is void of emotion, and emotion is an essential ingredient of suspense.”
That said, 2:37 might still have worked, if only the screenwriter had made the least effort to entertain or excite us along the way. Instead we are witnessing a never-ending tirade of profanities and artful but empty cinematography. Unfortunately I wasn’t impressed either by the performances of the army of young and gorgeous actors. But you can’t blame them, with this poor material.
The film does make various attempts to convey emotion but most of those lack drama. When the main characters talk about themselves and their youthful angst, the effect is theatrical, not cinematic. And until we know and understand the circumstances of these confessions, we will not fully invest emotionally in their content. That is why the ‘talking heads’ in this film don’t work, no matter how desperately the actors try to convince us.
Bottom line: there are some basic screenwriting rules you break at your own risk such as: “you must not deceive the audience.” I suspect Thalluri was considered an auteur and a prodigy, who de facto transcends the principles of storytelling. Here’s my two cents: beginning writers should not try and outsmart their peers, let alone the audience.
WE DON’T GIVE A SHEET
Mysteriously despite all the above, the film was selected for the 2006 Cannes Film Festival where it received a 17 mins standing ovation, effectively paving the way for a successful theatrical release. Or so you would expect. Banking on the festival response, quick international sales were achieved reportedly bringing in three times the film’s production cost.
The reality of the film’s performance at the box office was sobering: at home it hardly grossed $500k. Of course some sources blame the distributor’s bad release campaign. Or the exhibitor’s marginal programming. And finally the audience, for not wanting to open up to the film.
And tomorrow me, for not supporting Australian cinema.
Jun
1
The Good Read
Filed Under Newsletters | 1 Comment
Recently I had the privilege and honour of reading a script by one of the most hyped young writers in this country, face on covers of magazines and all that. My expectations were high and yes: it delivered! I spent an amazing two hours reading it as the characters really jumped off the page and the writing was beautiful. Then I put the script down and I knew the movie would fail.
What I had read was a great short novel. Brilliant prose, lively detail and sharp dialogue. But the story didn’t work because we would not care for the protagonist. This is a typical mistake: confusing a good script with a good story. Beware of the ‘good read’. Or as my best friend Chris always says: “Armaggedon was a good read too.” In the case of this Australian hopeful, the story was told from a protagonist without any clear objective. Ironically, a character close to the protagonist would have much better fitted that role without the need to significantly change the premise.
The joy of the ‘good read’ is truly a danger and one of many reasons why you don’t rely on friends for script feedback, even if they work in the film industry. I have heard of aspiring screenwriters asking advice from assistant directors, decorators production managers. Although like everybody in our industry, these people SHOULD have a notion, in reality they hardly ever do. (As a matter of fact, a lot of decision-makers don’t have a clue either.I could give you a recent example of a script where even the writer admitted ‘there was no story’. Still he got the money to develop it. Develop what? The novel? I won’t name the example or I would be dead. Fact is that the writer in question ironises about this reality when he says that
“to get your hands on delicious development money you don’t have to have a great script, it only has to be a little ‘better’ than the norm. And if you can do that with no story…good times.”
THE WISE AND THE NOT SO WISE
As somebody who takes the craft very seriously, I’m sometimes frustrated to see how people who should know better send out confusing messages. Now take this quote, which I found on a web site claiming to give story advice and tips to writers:
“As for the content of your screenplay; structure counts, usually. Have a clear Act I, II, and III. Try to hook the reader on the first page! Make the first five (or ten pages at most) be Act I, wherein you introduce all the main characters and show the reader the who, what, where, when and why of your story. Notice that I said SHOW. Telling is not so good. Film is a visual medium and you should actually be writing a FILM, not a script. Act II is the rest of the story, where you build on what you started, and it climaxes at the clear end of Act II. Act III should be five or ten (max) pages, where all loose ends are tied up and all conflicts are resolved.”
I must admit I had never heard of the Ten Minutes First Act. And the second act being “where you build on what you started“. How can you be more vague? You know what is REALLY frightening? The person talking is the director of an internationally renowned film festival. And as for: “structure counts, usually”… The festival director is probably hoping of getting the new KOYAANISQATSI.
Let me counterbalance the nonsense with a solid quote from Chris Vogler, the man behind The Writer’s Journey. This time not about the ‘big structure’ or the Journey Stages but about scenes:
“A scene is a business deal. It may not involve money but it will always involve some change in the contract between characters or in the balance of power. It’s a transaction, in which two or more people enter with one kind of deal between them, and negotiate or battle until a new deal has been cut, at which point the scene should end. It could be the reversal of a power structure. The underdog seizes power by blackmail. Or it could be the forging of a new alliance or enmity. Two people who hated each other make a new deal to work together in a threatening situation. A boy asks a girl out and she accepts or rejects his offer. Two gangsters make an alliance to rub out a rival. A mob forces a sheriff to turn a man over for lynching. The meat of the scene is the negotiation to arrive at the new deal, and when the deal is cut, the scene is over, period. “
THE POWER OF A PARADIGM SHIFT
Years ago a good friend returned from L.A. where he had attended a much hyped screenwriting seminar. The speaker made a point by asking the room who would visualise the scenes while writing. I agreed with my friend’s astonishment when he reported that only half of the writers raised their hands. What were the others thinking? What idiots to believe you can actually write movies without thinking visually???
I have come to fundamentally change my view on this. Did Alan Ball necessarily think visually when he wrote SIX FEET UNDER? Or AMERICAN BEAUTY? The last boasts wonderfully visual scenes but most of the script’s power lies entirely not on its visual level. We do indeed need visible elements to show character subtext, but not necessarily a visual context. Think about CRASH or more recently THE LIVES OF OTHERS. On what level do these movies make an impact?
Whether a movie works or not, is decided on an entirely different, almost abstract and non-visual level. Until a late draft, a screenwriter doesn’t always need to visualise. And you can take this right through to very visual action flicks such as DIE HARD, THE FUGITIVE or even SPIDER-MAN. Visual elements such as setting, time of day, camera angles etc. could have been easily replaced without really changing the story. They might have even worked without the eye candy but they surely wouldn’t have without the character drama underneath.
Recently I was recommended THE SEVEN HABITS OF HIGHLY SUCCESSFUL PEOPLE. Early in the book Stephen Covey speaks about the Paradigm Shift. (Beware: this Paradigm has nothing to do with Syd Field.) It’s about looking at something from a specific angle and (not) seeing what others see. I found this concept very similar to reading text vs. reading subtext. I had been reading screenplays on the surface for years before it most literally ‘clicked’ in my head; it felt as if a ’sixth sense’ had switched on, as if I was suddenly reading with an infrared eye.
Switching on the understanding of this subtextual level is a skill writers, just like producers or directors, need to develop before they can become successful. It is just as essential as switching on your desk light at night to read.
THE LOGLINE
“A logline is a one-sentence summary of your script. It’s the short blurb in TV guides that tells you what a movie is about and helps you decide if you’re interested in seeing it. It’s the grabber that excites your interest.” (-Scriptologis.Com)
.
The logline shouldn’t be confused with the tagline (marketing one-liner for the poster) or even slugline (”EXT. KAREL’S OFFICE - DAY”).
Once I believed you can only write your story’s logline when you have finished your script and even the one page synopsis. Until then, it may not even be clear what the story is about.
Here are a few good reasons why you should start thinking of the logline earlier. First of all: a good logline is a good indication that you have a story. If after a few drafts you still can’t find a logline that captures what your movie is about, you really need to think hard about the story again. Secondly: it will become an essential selling tool for your script. A strong logline will give you the confidence that you have a story: you’ll be able to pitch it with passion! In both senses the logline does pretty much what I promote about the synopsis in my consultancy services: it helps you improve AND sell the story. All that with the economy of one simple sentence.
I am currently working as a consultant on an amazing high concept story with some major story issues. It is always nerve-wrecking having to break the news that to unleash its potential, a story needs to be significantly reworked. But when I found out the writer had already written a logline expressing exactly what I believed the story should deliver, I sighed: we were on the same wavelength.
The moment you find a logline expressing your intentions, you have found an invaluable tool to stay on track. It could be the road map saving you from disaster. If the logline is selling and you stay true to it during the writing of the draft, chances are you will have a selling story.
THE $5 SCRIPT SOFTWARE: ASHAMPOO’S TEXTMAKER:
I recently had a computer scare when it looked my four year old laptop was about to die. That would have been a disaster in a few ways, not the least because I recently bought a - legitimate - OEM version of Office Standard. I lose my laptop, I lose that.
No wonder I was interested when recently I received an offer to an elegant software program called ‘Textmaker’, which does everything I use MS Word for. Only for $4.99 only. And legitimate. If you are looking for a good quality text processor, which is BTW faster than MS Word and whose license won’t expire if your computer dies, have a look here:
I believe the offers on these newsletters remain open for at least 1 purchase per customer.
BEATS VS. TURNING POINTS
While working on a step outline with one of my clients, it bothered me a number of scenes ended in the exact same way: the protagonist would respond to a situation by rejection or reluctance to respond.
None of these scenes really ended in a plot point, there was no hook nor change to the story’s direction. So I didn’t find the scenes’ ending strong enough and almost suggested to cut them altogether. Still, the point the writer was trying to make about the protagonist was a valid one: it gave us important information we would need later in the story.
The solution we came up with: keep the protagonist’s reaction as a scene beat but work towards a stronger scene ending by creating a new plot point for each in order to turn the scene, create anticipation and propel it into the next one. Not an easy task but ultimately better than cutting.
THE QUIZ
As part of a Google Adwords campaign I’ve created a quiz about the craft and - to a lesser extent - history of screenwriting. If one or two questions are a matter of opinion rather than fact, you will find the answers in The Story Dept. Twenty challenges, definitely not for beginners (and neither is this blog, apparently) but essential knowledge for whomever is serious about the craft. Anyway, if you consider yourself an expert, or at least intermediate level writer, you shouldn’t be intimidated. Click through until the very end of the quiz and you’ll land back on the OZZYWOOD web site after seeing all the right answers. Have fun!
