The first film of the extraordinarily successful Indiana Jones quadrilogy, created by Spielberg and Lucas, the greatest filmmakers of their generation.

A timeless piece of of the very best entertainment. This is your typical Hero’s Journey and an excellent starting point for screen story study. Did I mention it is also great fun?

ACT ONE

Sequence A

00.00  Jungle Explorers, being followed.
04.00 Indiana Jones and Satipo enter the cave.
05.00 They find Forestal impaled but continue.
06.00 Indy avoids traps to take the little statue.
08.00 They escape from the cave, Indy is betrayed by Satipo.
09.30 Arriving outside, Indy is surrounded by Belloq and his men.
10.00 Indy manages to escape Belloq, he runs towards the water.
11.00 Indy boards the seaplane, in mid-air he finds the pilot’s snake.

Sequence B

12.30 Indy teaches, the girls are adoring him. Marcus enters.
15.00 Visitors tell the Nazis have found Tannis, are now onto the Ark.
19.30 Marcus got Indy the job, he needs Abner, wonders about Marion.
21.30 Indy boards a plane, but is followed (DI)
22.30 Nepal: Marion in drinking contest. (POV)
24.00 Marion: Abner’s dead. She will give Indy the bronze medallion.
28.00 Nazis come in, claim what Indy wanted, threaten Marion. (POV)
30.00 Indy comes to the rescue, fire. “I’m your goddamn partner.”

ACT TWO A

Sequence C

32.30” ‘Cairo, Sallah as ally, tells about Belloq who found the chamber.
35.00” ‘Monkey runs off to the Nazis (DI)
36.30” ‘They’re attacked, but Jones fights them off, Marion abducted.
39.30” ‘Indy chases the basket, it goes on a truck, which explodes.
40.30” ‘Indy mournes Marion; Belloq: “I’m a shadowy reflection of you.”
44.00” ‘Indy saved by kids & Sallah, followed by man w/ eye patch (DI).
45.00” ‘Sallah saves Indy from poisoned dates: Nazis in the wrong place.

Sequence D

47.30 Nazis are impatient, tell Belloq they want results. (POV)
48.00 Indy and Sallah approach the site.
49.00 Indy descends into the chamber, light beam; Sallah taken away.
53.00 Indy gets out, finds Marion but leaves her.
54.00 Indy finds the place of the Ark.

ACT TWO B

Sequence E

54.30 Belloq and the Nazis (POV)
55.00 Indy starts digging, a storm brews.
58.00 Indy opens the cave, finds a snake pit.
58.30 Belloq releases Marion, gives her a dress to wear //
60.30 Indy descends, burns snakes // Marion drinks // Indy & Sallah find Ark.

65.30 Marion is sober, takes knife, stopped by Nazis.
66.00 Indy and Sallah carry the Ark, lift it out.

Sequence F

67.30 Belloq notices the digging, alerts all.
68.00 Nazis take Ark out, throw Marion in and close the cave.
70.00 Indy and Marion argue in the snake pit, finally break through a wall.
72.30 They find an escape to the side.
73.00 Indy climbs the monowing plane and fights a guard.
75.00 Marion jumps in but Indy rescues her before it explodes.
78.00 Indy hears the Ark is on a truck for Cairo. Makes it up as he goes.

ACT THREE

Sequence G

79.00 Indy on a horse, following the truck.
81.00 Indy boards the truck, overpowers driver and takes over.
85.00 Indy drives truck into town, it is hidden from the Nazis.
86.00 They celebrate with Sallah before boarding the ship with Katanga.
88.00 On the boat, Indy and Marion kiss.

Sequence H

90.00 Engines have stopped, German submarine enters.
91.00 The Germans take the cargo and Marion.
93.00 Jones climbs on board the submarine.
94.00 Jones follows the Ark from the islan submarine base onto the island.
96.30 After a standoff, Jones has to give in.
100.0 Belloq initiates a ceremony that calls in the spirits who kill the Nazis.
104.0 Indy and Marion are free, all Nazis have disappeared.

Sequence I

104.3 Washington DC: Indy is unhappy “Top Men are working on it.”
105.3 Indy and Marion off to have a drink.
106.0 Ark is stored as “Top Secret – Army Intel”

Full Synopsis:

ACT I

In the spring of 1936 an exploration party penetrates thick jungle on the South American continent. When the group’s leader stops to examine map fragments, another of the group pulls a gun. The leader, hearing the click as the turncoat chambers a round, pulls out a bullwhip and disarms the man, sending him fleeing back through the jungle. Thus does Dr. Henry “Indiana” Jones, Jr. (Harrison Ford) stay alive.

Indy and his remaining companion enter a dank and oppressively vast cave, where a competitor of his, Forrestal, disappeared. Inside the cave are several traps rigged by the ancient people who hid a small, valuable statue there — and one of the traps is found to have snared Forrestal. The two men find and retrieve the statue, but the cave is rigged to collapse when the statue is moved. Indy barely escapes the cave, while his companion betrays him and is killed trying to escape.

Seemingly safe, Indy is cornered by the Hovitos, the local tribe, who are led by Dr. Rene Belloq (Paul Freeman), an arrogant French archaeologist who is a longtime rival and enemy of Indy’s. Indy flees and is rescued by Jock (Fred Sorenson), flying a seaplane, though Indy isn’t pleased to find Jock’s pet snake Reggie inside.

Back stateside, Indy teaches an archeology class and is still upset over the loss of the statue, which he surmises Belloq is taking to Marrakesh; he has found pieces he feels will pay for a trip to Marrakesh to find Belloq, but Indy’s friend Marcus Brody (Denholm Elliott) dashes that hope by informing him that two Army Intelligence officers want to talk to him about Abner Ravenwood, his former teacher, who was his friend until Indy broke up with his daughter, Marion (Karen Allen).

The Army officers are concerned because they’ve intercepted a German cable concerning a mammoth archaeological dig in the Egyptian desert. When they read the cable, Indy and Marcus realize the Nazis have discovered Tanis, an ancient city buried in a gigantic sandstorm in 980 B.C. and the possible burial site of the Ark of the Covenant. The Ark was built by ancient Hebrews to hold the stone tablets on which Moses inscribed the Ten Commandments. It holds immense mystical power — enough to allow the Nazis to level mountains and lay waste to entire regions.

Indy flies to Nepal (followed by a Nazi agent, Toht (Ronald Lacey)) to confront Marion Ravenwood, who runs a restaurant and bar (and who can outdrink anyone) because he needs the headpiece to the Staff of Ra, whose crystals will allow him to determine the exact location of the Ark. Marion, still bitter over their breakup, nonetheless accepts when Indy offers her $3,000 and the promise of more when they return stateside. She is cryptic about the headpiece, and after Indy leaves she ponders it as she wears it around her neck.

Toht and several Sherpa heavies enter the bar and hold Marion hostage, with Toht ready to torture her for the headpiece. Indy returns and a firefight erupts during which the fireplace is dislodged and the building begins burning down. Toht finds the headpiece but when he grabs it he’s badly burned — leaving an image of one side of the headpiece branded on his hand. He escapes while Indy and Marion do likewise

ACT IIa

Indy and Marion fly to Egypt to see Indy’s pal, Sallah (John Rhys-Davies), who is working on the Nazi site and who reveals that the Nazis are aided by a French archaeologist (Belloq).

Later, while shopping at a Cairo bazaar, Indy and Marion are attacked by sword-wielding Arabs working for Nazi agents. Indy fights them off but in the confusion Marion is trapped in a large basket and taken by two of the terrorists. The effort to track her down is held up by a man brandishing a sword in intimidating fashion. The swordsman is shot down in short order by a thoroughly unimpressed Indy.

Soon Indy spots a basket carried to a truck filled with explosives and is fired on by a submachine-gun-wielding assailant. His Nazi commander orders the Arabs to take off, but Indy shoots them and the truck crashes, exploding and destroying the basket.

Disconsolate over losing Marion, Indy drowns his sorrows in drink but is met by more Nazi agents who escort him to a table at which is seated Belloq, who gleefully talks about finding the Ark. Indy, no longer caring whether he lives or dies, reaches for his sidearm as Arabs inside pull rifles — only to see Sallah’s large brood of children rush in and the “Arabs” to turn out to be US Marines, much to the embarassment of Belloq.

Sallah takes Indy to see a shaman who is reading the Ra headpiece after both men have learned that Belloq and his Wehrmacht aide, Colonel Dietrich (Wolf Kahler), have obtained a copy of the headpiece. (Neither man is aware that it is a duplicate traced from Toht’s burned hand.) The shaman reveals two critical facts: first, that the headpiece gives the precise height of the Staff of Ra, and second, that the staff the Nazis used was too long — so their excavation is over a mile away from the Ark’s actual burial site, which is known as the Well of Souls.

Infiltrating the mammoth site, Indy is lowered into an underground maproom containing a precisely detailed miniature of the city. Using the Ra headpiece, he identifies the precise location of the Well of Souls. Sneaking further around the gigantic camp, Indy is shocked to find Marion, alive but bound and gagged. Indy starts to free her, but when she reveals that the Nazis keep asking about him and what he knows, he realizes he can’t cut her loose without revealing his presence to the Nazis.

Late that afternoon Indy and Sallah sneak a digging party of their own to the actual location of the Well of Souls.

ACT IIb

Late into the night they dig open the chamber, and to Indy’s horror it is filled with dangerous snakes. Indy clears an area of snakes with burning torches, then lowers himself into the chamber and burns many of the snakes alive with flaming gasoline. Sallah follows and the two eventually find the gigantic chest that is the Ark.

By now it is dawn, and only now does Belloq notice the commotion a mile away. The Nazis surround the site and Indy is left trapped inside, but Dietrich leaves him with something else — Marion, who is thrown into the chamber and the area closed off.

Indy notices a wall where snakes are entering. He climbs a mammoth statue and with all his might breaks it from its foundation and it crashes through the wall. The two find an opening to the surface, and discover the airfield at the excavation camp, where there is a bizarre Nazi transport plane. The two sneak up to the plane, but Indy is attacked by a mechanic and a prolonged fight ensues that is joined by a burly Nazi who pummels Indy before being punched backward and shredded to bits by the plane’s propellers. Marion seizes one of the plane’s machine guns and opens fire on Nazi soldiers, in the process setting a fuel dump aflame. The fire destroys the area and the plane explodes, but Indy and Marion escape.

Dietrich orders his men to transport the Ark by truck to Cairo. When Sallah finds Indy and Marion, he is overjoyed they’re alive and tells them of Dietrich’s plan.

ACT III

Indy takes a horse and pursues the convoy, seizing the truck containing the Ark and surviving a brutal chase and fight with Nazi soldiers to drive the Ark to safety.

He and Marion board a ship taking the Ark back to the US, but a Nazi submarine captures the ship. The Ark is taken aboard the sub and Marion taken prisoner for Belloq. Indy, however, escapes Nazi pursuit and rides the submarine as it sails on the ocean surface to an island where Belloq and the Nazis trek to the top of a mountain.

Indy has grabbed a rocket launcher and intercepts Belloq, vowing to blow up the Ark unless Marion is freed. But Belloq calls Indy’s bluff, knowing Indy wants to know what the Ark contains as much as anyone. Indy finds he can’t carry out his threat, and is seized.

At an elaborate ceremony atop the mountain Indy and Marion, tied to a pole, can only watch as the Ark is opened, but it contains nothing but sand, the remains of the stone tablets. No sooner is it opened, however, than its spirits suddenly appear. Indy and Marion, remembering an ancient code that requires people to close their eyes and not look at the now-freed spirits, withstand the mayhem that ensues as the energy of the Ark surges forth and its spirits attack the now-terrified Nazis, killing the entire contingent and destroying Belloq in gruesome fashion. The energy mass surges high into the sky before returning to the Ark and resealing it, leaving Indy and Marion drained but freed.

Weeks later Indy and Marcus feud with the Army officers over the whereabouts of the Ark, Indy angry that the Army has no idea what it has in the Ark — though it appears they in fact do understand what they have, as the Ark is sealed in a large crate and stored anonymously in a gigantic government warehouse, never to be seen again.

Full synopsis courtesy of IMDb.

Not just a great comic book adaptation and an exciting action flick, but also an elegantly written piece of cinema entertainment, executed with a daring cast and grounded in a solid foundation of character.

ACT ONE

SEQUENCE A

- Tony Stark visits soldiers on duty in the Middle East.
- The convoy is attacked, the soldiers are quickly killed.
- Stark flees when a bomb explodes, severely wounding Tony’s chest.
- Tony is captured and recorded by a group of terrorists.

FLASHBACK

- Tony’s history as a child prodigy, taking over his father’s company at 21.
- Colonel Rhodes presents Tony with an award in his absence.
- Stane accepts the award in Tony’s honor.
- Rhody finds Tony partying in a casino.
- Reporter Christine approaches Stark with questions regarding ethics.Stane
- The two end up spending the night together.
- Christine is greeted by Tony’s assistant, “Pepper” as she leaves the house.
- Pepper helps Tony with some business before he heads out to the airport.
- In flight, Tony talks with Rhody, who is unhappy about Tony’s attitude.
- Tony gets Rhody to relax, they get drunk and have an in-flight party.
- At a military outpost, Tony demonstrates the Jericho, a missile system.
- Tony goes off with the convoy that is soon attacked by terrorists.

SEQUENCE B

- Tony regains consciousness, his chest is hooked up to a strange device.
- His cellmate Yinsen explains the device keeps shrapnel out of Tony’s heart.
- The captors tell Tony to build a Jericho. Tony refuses and they torture him.
- The terrorists show off a huge weapons stockpile and Tony starts building.
- With Yinsen’s help, Tony constructs a super power generator.
- Tony designs a powered weapon suit to defeat the terrorists.
- Terrorist Raza, attempts to torture Yinsen and gives them one more day.
- Yinsen and Tony set off a bomb as distraction as Tony powers up his suit.
- Yinsen grabs a gun and runs off to distract the surviving guards.
- Tony muscles his way through the cave, his suit deflects weapon fire.
- A dying Yinsen encourages Tony to not waste his life as he escapes.
- Tony destroys their weapons, the armor is ruined, but he is alive.
- US helicopters fly overhead, a group of soldiers led by Rhody, find Tony.

ACT TWO

SEQUENCE C

- Back home Tony announces to shut down Stark Industries’ Weapons.
- Agent Coulson tells Pepper he wants to talk to Tony about his capture.
- Stane confronts Tony about his actions, furious.
- Tony wants Stark Industries to move forward with Ark Reactor technology.
- Stane tells Tony to lay low for a while so the company can sort things out.
- During the upgrade of the Ark Reactor, Tony verges on cardiac arrest.
- Pepper helps in the process, she’s told to get rid of the old model.
- Rhodes says Stark is suffering from post-traumatic stress disorder.
- Tony starts upgrading his armored suit to “Mark 2,”.
- The terrorists gather all fragments of the original armor in the desert.
- Tony perfects the armor’s flight system.
- Pepper comes in and leaves a box on Tony’s desk.
- Stane and the board filed an injunction to gain control of Stark Ind.
- Tony completes the upgrade of his flight system.
- A test flight shows Tony the power supply shuts down at great heights.
- After a near-crash, Tony crashes through three floors of the house.

SEQUENCE D

- Tony finds Pepper’s box with “Proof That Tony Stark Has A Heart.”
- Tony rebuilds the suit to solve the icing problem, to code name Mark 3.
- Tony leaves to attend his benefit dinner while the suit is being painted.

MID POINT:

- At the charity event Agent Coulson wants to learn about the incident.
- Tony and Pepper share a moment together in the moonlight.
- Christine challenges him on his weapons being used in the Middle East.
- Stane reveals he filed the injunction against Tony.
- Tony is furious, transforms into Iron Man for the first time.

SEQUENCE E

- In the Middle East, Iron Man defeats the terrorists, destroys their weapons.
- Two F-22 jets spot him.
- Col. Rhodes contacts Tony, who plays ignorant.
- The jets are too much and Tony reveals to Rhodes he is responsible.
- Iron Man is hit by one fighter jet but saves a pilot’s life.
- Tony convinces Rhody to pass it all off as a “training exercise.”
- Back at home, Pepper catches him removing the Iron Man armor.

SEQUENCE F

- The terrorists are visited by none other than Stane.
- He paid them to kill Stark, but they demanded a much higher price.
- Stane takes the remnants of the Mark 1 armor they have gathered.
- Pepper agrees to help Tony.
- In Stane’s office she finds evidence he was behind Tony’s capture.
- Stane realizes what she was up to.
- Agent Coulson agrees to help stop Stane with his fellow agents.
- Stane cannot figure out how to create a power source for the suit.
- Stane arrives at Tony’s house and paralyzes him with a sonic weapon.
- Stane yanks out the power source from Tony’s heart.
- Tony gets the Ark Reactor that Pepper gave him.
- Tony gets the power source installed just as Rhody arrives.

ACT THREE

SEQUENCE G

- Pepper and Coulson spot the Mark 1 Armor, Stane attacks them.
- Iron Man fights Iron Monger, with half power in the suit.
- Tony grabs Iron Monger and climbs higher, then loses him.
- Iron Man is now almost completely powerless.
- Tony instructs Pepper to overload the building’s Ark Reactor.
- Pepper is hesitant, believing that Tony could also be killed.
- Tony manages to keep fighting while she builds up power to the Reactor.
- The Ark explodes, killing Stane, injuring Tony but saving him from death.

SEQUENCE H

- At a press conference Tony adopts the name “Iron Man”.
- Coulson: cover stories about Stane and the “truth” about Iron Man.
- Tony goes before the reporters once more, and declares “I am Iron Man.”

EPILOGUE

Back home, Nick Fury of S.H.I.E.L.D. talks about “The Avenger Initiative.”

Thank you to IMDb for the full synopsis.

Nafa – Choctops Meeting: 18/2/08

(Report by John Haly,
Thank you to Tony Chu)

Karel -a Belgian producer and script consultant – founded OZZYWOOD Films and The Story Department (which is a unique Australian blog and online resource for screen story theory). Karel headed production and programming at London’s Digital Broadcasting Company and was a film buyer for CANAL+, (Europe’s largest pay TV service). He was the host for a movie show for MTV Europe. His production credits included two short dramas, a documentary and a feature film. In post-production, he has a short animation and a feature film. As a script consultant, he has clients both in Australia and overseas. Of interest to Nafa members, he also runs regular workshops on script writing. A notable fact is that the 2007 nominees and also the winner of the Australian Writer Guild Monte Miller Award were Karel’s clients. Accordingly, if you are a script writer, you will, indeed, be well advised to pay particular attention to his views on ‘What our industry needs is a Story Revolution’.

Karel began by delving back into his personal history stating that he had started in Radio as a reporter who would phone in initial reviews of films for night radio - a far cry from the online internet reviewing of films of the contemporary culture. His first venture into a screenplay dates back to 1989, although he admits to abandoning that path because of early criticism by an established script writer. His next attempt was twelve years later, and he promptly lost the first draft.

In 2001, he moved to Australia where he co-produced a documentary and then a short film, but the last didn’t go anywhere. The next film was “Aerosol” which was dispatched to, and was selected by a few film festivals, but won no significant prizes. As a consequence, he then contemplated a change of direction and began studying and reading in an effort to get new insights as to the creative writing process.

The author at the top of his reading list was Robert McKee. McKee’s book, ‘Story’ is considered by some as the “screenwriters’ bible”. When purchasing the software for screen writing called ‘Power Structure’, he was offered at a reduced price a DVD called ‘The Hero’s 2 Journeys’ which was promoted as extremely enlightening material capable of educating writers and which revealed the template upon which the vast majority of successful stories and Hollywood blockbusters are based. Michael Hauge and Christopher Vogler’s DVD opened Karel’s eyes as it offered a unique insiders’ understanding of the ways screenplay structure, character, and theme must combine to be successful.

Karel became aware of the sad fact that there seemed to be little by the way of ‘Story Education’ available in Australia. Michael Hauge’s principles were applied in advising writers of script plays. With the aid of AFC funding, it became possible to produce a following accompanied by good results. He educated writers that the structure of writing was important, particularly from the perspective of Character. His insight centred on the question: Where does drama happen? He emphasises that it is not in the visualisation of the story, but the subtext beneath the story that good scriptwriting lies.

The fault to which many writers fall prey is that of visualising the scene as they are writing, thus thinking in terms of pictures. As it is a visual media up with which we end, we must keep in mind into what it is that a visual story latches in the minds of the audience – for example, that of ‘Desire’! The question that ought to be at the centre of your script should focus on the desires and objectives of your characters because film ‘hangs together’ with the emotions of “Desire”.

A frequent criticism of Australian films is that they have weak protagonists, (i.e. those without will power). If you give your protagonist a visible goal with a desire and will to get there, then you are more likely to engage your audience. The essence of Michael Hauge’s proposition is that you need a character who has a visible goal with a clearly defined end-point.

Karel recalled the Columbia University educator, Frank Daniel, who was noted for his development of the sequence paradigm of Screenwriting. Frank’s conception of a good protagonist was ’somebody who wants something badly and has difficulty getting it.”

Karel turned to the audience to ask, ‘As a screen writer what is your primary goal?’ After a few financial and entertaining replies, someone suggested ‘to tell a story’. Karel then asked, ‘Why are you telling that story?’ Quoting Michael Hauge, his answer was two words, ‘elicit emotion’. In order to do this, there are three things with which a screen writer can play. 1. Character, 2. Desire, 3. Conflict.

The best way Karel can find to illustrate this is simply through the examples of successful films, which is what he uses when he runs his workshops. Irrespective of whether it is a Mainline or Arthouse movie, they all follow the same structure. The film ‘Die Hard’ deals with a man seeking to stop the criminals. ‘Jaws’ relates to a man’s desire to stop the Shark. Consider an Oscar winning Arthouse movie: “The Lives of Others’ where in the first half, the protagonist desires to expose the director while in the second half, he wishes to protect him.

As a screenwriter, you need to structure the desire. (Characters need structure in their desire). Your audience needs to know in the first act what that desire is. Your character also needs to resonate with the audience, exhibiting his or her human flaws. It is the flaw that holds the need of the protagonist. In ‘Die Hard, while desiring to stop the criminals, his flaw was that he was afraid to tackle the criminals who held his wife hostage. In the “The Lives of Others”, the protagonist changes his mind mid way. Audiences expect to perceive this desire, even if it is not spelled out.

As Aristotle distinguishes: a whole is that which has a beginning, a middle, and an end. In the beginning, the audience is introduced to the setting, the characters, their situation,/conflict and the goal they desire. In short, something happens, unexpectedly, which defines the story to come. To paraphrase Aristotle, ‘A beginning is that which does not itself follow anything by causal necessity, but after which something naturally is or comes to be’.

In ‘Die Hard’ the building is stopped while John McClane goes up to the highest floor to get a bird’s eye perspective and think through his options. He says to himself, ‘Think, think, think’. [KS: The exact same words are used by Woody in Toy Story 2 after Wheezy is taken away.] The initial plot point of confusion [KS: In the Hero's Journey the 'Mentor' stage, 'Refusing the Call'] shifts to the derivation of a plan and new plot point – an event followed by a reaction. Something happens, a plan evolves and the pursuit of activity begins and continues all the way to a resolution.

Karel advised that as a Script writer you should ask yourself, ‘What is the reason this story is being told?’. As for Karel himself, he was sitting here talking to us because he was strongly motivated by the desire to see a revolution in the way Australian Script writers create stories. He proclaimed, ‘Make sure there is a connection between yourself and the story you are telling. There is a requirement to want to connect to an audience.’

It is in the tribal ethos of ancient days that the storyteller tells stories relevant to their tribes. They are told not only to get the message across, but also to create such impact that the stories are repeatedly retold to subsequent generations of that tribe. It is important whether you be scriptwriters or producers or directors, that you choose the scripts that can best tell the story.

Be aware that the contemporary tribe of humanity is being conditioned by the way a story is being told in film and theatre. Be conscious of writing structure as it is entering an arena, a tribe, a society that is accustomed to perceive in a specific manner. Don’t be dismissive of the formula for telling the story in film just because you want to be ‘different’, or because your audience has been conditionally seasoned, even if they are not consciously aware of being told a story with a definite style.

Karel moved on to seek to discredit a few commonly held myths. The first one is that writers should rush out and buy specific Screen Writing Software such as ‘Final Draft’. In the first place, there are plenty of free alternatives out there for Microsoft word templates, [KS: Celtx] etc. Primarily, it initially tempts you to write in scenes, when it is the story you first need to relate. Reading scripts to get the format right as a pre-requisite encourages the visualisation of scenes when first, you should be concentrating on the story. Try watching a movie, break it down and decode it yourself rather than reading or writing a script (story first, script last).

The next myth concerns language. Some writers love flowery prose. Question yourself as to whether your objective is to write something that only reads well, or do you wish to write a story of substance? Identify: where is the story? Do you have a character with a desire? Where is the conflict in the story? This, as your primary guideline becomes the focus of the storyline.

The next myth concerns Log Lines. (A Log Line is a brief summary of the film, often providing both a synopsis of the program’s plot, and an emotional “hook” to stimulate interest). Karel confessed for a long time that he believed that the Log Line was the last thing you wrote after the script and synopsis. He is now firmly convinced the opposite is true.

If you want to know more about the importance of Log Lines go to ‘The Unknown Screen Writer‘ and ‘Mystery Man on Film‘. These will help you to use correctly the Log Lines – a procedure the importance of which cannot be overestimated. These are the selling lines of your film which you must know before you start writing. Formulate a Log Line of: who is your character? What does the character want?- and- What is the obstacle(s) in his way? Try to compose your log line by writing it down as soon as possible as this keeps you in focus. That great idea that pops into your head during the writing! Does it fit into your Log Line? If not, put it aside because it has no place in your story. Keep it for your next script.

Karel then suggested that the biggest mistake people make in the attempt to sell their scripts is to dispatch them too early. Sending and then resending draft versions is the quickest way to ensure that the people reading the dispatched articles lose interest. By resending a newer, updated version of the script, you are admitting to the producer or director that you sent them a previous script that you well knew wasn’t ready.

Following on from that theme, Karel pointed out that formatting the script is not important until you have the story written. As Art Arthur said: ‘Don’t get it right, get it written!’ Once it is written in the final draft, THEN there are formatting rules to which you need to comply. It is then that those slug lines, script punctation and the absence of typos needs to be scrupulously addressed.

Karel noted that studies of the Australian Government Feature Film Funding have shown that only about 19 out of some 419 films actually made money. He impressively expressed the point that our essential requirement was to think about the market. Again, he reiterated the need for writers to understand and act on the principles espoused in “The Hero’s Journey”.

Despite the perception that both Germans and Australians possess an inherent hero phobia, explore the successful films in our own industry, and that, in itself, will disabuse any such notion.

At this point, Jeanie opened the floor to questions. These included ones concerning the cultural differences between countries when it came to making films. This, in turn, raised the topic of our anxiety of being commercially successful. Questions about breaking the rules for film structure returned a reply of: ‘how about mastering the ‘Rules‘ first BEFORE contemplating breaking them- not the other way around.

Tony concluded the evening by thanking Karel for his contribution. Karel spoke privately to people as they approached him and eventually the evening broke up, as actors, producers and director’s networks chatted on before being kindly ejected by the Bar Staff wishing to close. Some of us spilled out onto the sidewalks to continue our conversations till the passing night drew us to the consideration that we should be homeward bound.

Still you will need to get through the hurdle of the paperwork. Before getting access to tax payer’s money, a rather large amount of boxes needs to be ticked. Still, these application forms are usually not as daunting as they look.

If you have studied the questions in the application and there are still questions left, it often pays to pick up the phone and ask the people in the development department directly.

However, the most important elements of any application package for a new screenplay are the following:

- the screenplay
- the logline and/or one-paragraph synopsis
- the synopsis
- the three-page outline
- the development notes

If you are confident that you have a good story, it is paramount to make sure each of these four is in prime shape. Let’s look at them in further detail.

SCREENPLAY

ALL scripts are read. To my knowledge, this is where the first selection occurs.
This means you the screenplay’s presentation is extremely important. To improve a reader’s experience and keep the focus on the story, your script needs to be as perfect as you can get it. Proper format, no typos, ‘lots of white’ etc.

It is true that if you have a formally deficient screenplay but a rock solid story, you will ultimately find the money. If you have a dead-boring story written in a perfect, super polished screenplay, no-one will care. Still, your script may be eliminated from a funding round just because it looks un-professional.

The external reader in charge of making the first selection may decide that if you are not disciplined to even get something as simple as the format right, you are not serious about screenwriting in the first place.

LOGLINE

It tells in only a few words what your story is about. Twenty-five-words-or-less, ideally. If you can’t do this, most likely any future sales people will have trouble pitching your story.

The logline is a one sentence or one paragraph summary of your story, sometimes called the elevator pitch. Clever writers have used this tool during development and now is the time for the world to admire the brilliant gem.

The logline is so powerful, it doesn’t just tell us what the story is about, it also demonstrates your clarity in terms of vision and plot.

Think of it like this: if you give the people deciding on development or production investment the most powerful, exciting line summarising your story, you can almost be sure your story will pop in their minds before any others. You have already half won the money.

SYNOPSIS

Even if the synopsis is not used for the first elimination, a badly written synopsis will most likely throw you out of the race at some point. Once a first selection is made, readers will need to refresh their minds and in stead of re-reading the entire script, they may look at the synopsis in stead. If yours is sloppy and uninspiring, this may reflect on the discussions about the script in the shortlisting stage.

I am of the opinion that significant tax money could be saved if funding agencies would behave like the rest of the film industry and make a selection based on the synopsis first. It is a time-efficient and highly reliable tool to assess the story in a reasonable level of detail without the need to read for hours. A badly constructed story can be a good read but ultimately it may waste everyone’s time.

Finally, one page is one page. Don’t cheat. If necessary, cut out all subplots and focus purely on the protagonist’s journey.

THREE PAGE OUTLINE

Here you can go into more detail about any side-characters and their journeys. If the synopsis suffered in terms of its style because of the struggle to get the essential plot points in, here you can be more evocative. Give us a flavour of the genre of the film by using expressive language. However, this is still not a treatment: no dialogue or detailed description.

DEVELOPMENT NOTES

Honesty first. Know your strengths and weaknesses. Don’t over-sell. Be clear about what you want to achieve in the next draft. The development notes are hugely important and in all fairness, it is not really an area where you can be on your own. It always pays to hire a professional to look over the application materials as the competition is fierce and many of your competitors will have worked through their submission with the help of a script consultant.

These notes should provide the SWOT Analysis of your work. Why do you believe it will attract millions of viewers? Why is it worth spending money on further development? And most importantly: what are you intending to do next? For a writer, it is hard to judge the merits of your own work. Here you will need help from an experienced reader, another writer or a script editor.

One more piece of advice: start writing these documents EARLY. Don’t wait until the last days before the deadline. Not only will you save yourself the stress and the danger of having documents riddled with typos. When you have the time to let your application materials rest for a week, two, three, you will have time to write another seriously improved draft. You will pick up on weaknesses you didn’t see in the first place. The final result will be 200% better.

Back to work. Good luck!

Screenplay Checklist (Premium) >>

Learn From Other People’s Mistakes >>

1. STAGE ONE ($99)
- story + text analysis of the synopsis.
- written notes + 1 hour tele-conference.

Pay AUD$99
(incl. GST)

At the conceptual stage, this service helps you determine the strengths and weaknesses of your story or story idea.

At a later draft stage, this service helps you to make sure you are selling your story in the best possible way, to producers, potential investors or government agencies.

______________________________________________________

2. STAGE TWO ($389)

– story analysis based on the step outline.
- written notes + up to 3hs consultation.

Pay AUD$389
(incl. GST)

This is the most powerful development stage, as it works on the story level, yet lays the foundations for the scenes to be (re-)written.

The step outline session can be taken after the conceptual stage, to test if you are heading the right direction with the plot, even before writing a single scene.

Once past the first draft, this stage will strip the flesh from your script and test the strength of its skeletal story.

When you take the consultancy for the first time, I will give you guidelines on how to prepare for the session.

Every professional writer will tell you you will have to go through this stage numerous times before confidently moving to the screenplay stage. Inquire about a development plan that includes a number of Stage Two session, so you can benefit from the loyalty discount.

______________________________________________________

3. STAGE THREE ($489)
- full draft script notes, prioritising areas of major concern.
- up to one hour discussion.

Pay AUD$489
(incl. GST)
______________________________________________________

To use a different payment method, visit the payments page.

It is not a tagline. It is not really a one-paragraph synopsis either. (and it’s definitely not a slug line)

The Australian Film Commission says:

“filmmakers are often asked to supply a one sentence version of their film story. This one sentence should give the most concentrated version possible of the story, or at least its key event.”

This definition is – to say the least – problematic. Do you know what a story’s ‘key event’ is? I don’t.

“For example, here is a one sentence plot premise for Somersault: “A teenage girl runs away from home, hoping to find herself through love, but the people she meets are as lost as she is…”

If this is the best logline possible for this film, the film does not have a story. There may be some sort of an inner journey but that is not enough for a successful film. The AFC document continues:

“This sentence is one way to describe what happens in Somersault. In this case, it gives us the starting event, implies further events and states the protagonist’s predicament.”

The writer of this statement should not give advice to filmmakers. Not only is it confusing, it is plain wrong. ‘A teenage girl runs away from home’ is most definitely NOT a ’starting event’. It is a deliberate action by that character, therefore it can not qualify for a strong inciting incident.

The Unknown Screenwriter (Unk) has a far more useful definition:

“Protagonist’s main character trait + Protagonist’s main function + main story conflict + central question + Antagonist or forces of antagonism + Protagonist’s goal and arc”

I found this for Gladiator, which is a perfect example of the above:

“The brave General Maximus, heir to the throne, is stripped from his powers and made a fugitive slave by his arch rival Commodus. In order to restore the power of the Roman Senate and avenge the murder of Marcus Aurelius he will have to fight and survive as a gladiator and ultimately confront Commodus.”

Because we have two sentences, it is not the ideal logline. But with some work, you can tighten this further without losing the essence:

“When the brave General Maximus is made a fugitive slave, he has to fight as a gladiator to confront his arch rival Commodus and restore the power of the senate.”

Unk also calls it a compass logline because:

“it’s the logline I create before I ever ever start writing. It always leads the way for me. It keeps me on track when I get off track and I tend to get off track ALL THE FUCKIN’ TIME.”

Next: Examples of loglines >>

Of course McKee is right. The creative process is unpredictable and you know where you start but you don’t know where you’ll end.

Really?

If you are assuming things can change SO much you will have a different logline, you may have a problem. You may not really have a story (yet).

The logline says exactly what your story is, in its purest and simplest form. It states what story you are trying to tell. If that changes, you are basically writing a different movie altogether.

One of the most exciting projects I have worked on had a problem in terms of its structure and POV. Numerous discussions with the writer lead to ever improving versions of synopsis and step outline. But we didn’t see the light at the end of the tunnel for quite a while.

One day the writer sent me a new synopsis and at the bottom of the page he had written a logline.

That day not only did we know we had a strong story, the development process suddenly found a clear direction.

Next: What is a logline? (Premium ) >>

What I had read was a great short novel. Brilliant prose, lively detail and sharp dialogue. But the story didn’t work because we would not care for the protagonist. This is a typical mistake: confusing a good script with a good story. Beware of the ‘good read’. Or as my best friend Chris always says: “Armaggedon was a good read too.” In the case of this Australian hopeful, the story was told from a protagonist without any clear objective. Ironically, a character close to the protagonist would have much better fitted that role without the need to significantly change the premise.

The joy of the ‘good read’ is truly a danger and one of many reasons why you don’t rely on friends for script feedback, even if they work in the film industry. I have heard of aspiring screenwriters asking advice from assistant directors, decorators production managers. Although like everybody in our industry, these people SHOULD have a notion, in reality they hardly ever do. (As a matter of fact, a lot of decision-makers don’t have a clue either.I could give you a recent example of a script where even the writer admitted ‘there was no story’. Still he got the money to develop it. Develop what? The novel? I won’t name the example or I would be dead. Fact is that the writer in question ironises about this reality when he says that

“to get your hands on delicious development money you don’t have to have a great script, it only has to be a little ‘better’ than the norm. And if you can do that with no story…good times.”

THE WISE AND THE NOT SO WISE

As somebody who takes the craft very seriously, I’m sometimes frustrated to see how people who should know better send out confusing messages. Now take this quote, which I found on a web site claiming to give story advice and tips to writers:

“As for the content of your screenplay; structure counts, usually. Have a clear Act I, II, and III. Try to hook the reader on the first page! Make the first five (or ten pages at most) be Act I, wherein you introduce all the main characters and show the reader the who, what, where, when and why of your story. Notice that I said SHOW. Telling is not so good. Film is a visual medium and you should actually be writing a FILM, not a script. Act II is the rest of the story, where you build on what you started, and it climaxes at the clear end of Act II. Act III should be five or ten (max) pages, where all loose ends are tied up and all conflicts are resolved.”

I must admit I had never heard of the Ten Minutes First Act. And the second act being “where you build on what you started“. How can you be more vague? You know what is REALLY frightening? The person talking is the director of an internationally renowned film festival. And as for: “structure counts, usually”… The festival director is probably hoping of getting the new KOYAANISQATSI.

Let me counterbalance the nonsense with a solid quote from Chris Vogler, the man behind The Writer’s Journey. This time not about the ‘big structure’ or the Journey Stages but about scenes:

“A scene is a business deal. It may not involve money but it will always involve some change in the contract between characters or in the balance of power. It’s a transaction, in which two or more people enter with one kind of deal between them, and negotiate or battle until a new deal has been cut, at which point the scene should end. It could be the reversal of a power structure. The underdog seizes power by blackmail. Or it could be the forging of a new alliance or enmity. Two people who hated each other make a new deal to work together in a threatening situation. A boy asks a girl out and she accepts or rejects his offer. Two gangsters make an alliance to rub out a rival. A mob forces a sheriff to turn a man over for lynching. The meat of the scene is the negotiation to arrive at the new deal, and when the deal is cut, the scene is over, period. “

THE POWER OF A PARADIGM SHIFT

Years ago a good friend returned from L.A. where he had attended a much hyped screenwriting seminar. The speaker made a point by asking the room who would visualise the scenes while writing. I agreed with my friend’s astonishment when he reported that only half of the writers raised their hands. What were the others thinking? What idiots to believe you can actually write movies without thinking visually???

I have come to fundamentally change my view on this. Did Alan Ball necessarily think visually when he wrote SIX FEET UNDER? Or AMERICAN BEAUTY? The last boasts wonderfully visual scenes but most of the script’s power lies entirely not on its visual level. We do indeed need visible elements to show character subtext, but not necessarily a visual context. Think about CRASH or more recently THE LIVES OF OTHERS. On what level do these movies make an impact?

Whether a movie works or not, is decided on an entirely different, almost abstract and non-visual level. Until a late draft, a screenwriter doesn’t always need to visualise. And you can take this right through to very visual action flicks such as DIE HARD, THE FUGITIVE or even SPIDER-MAN. Visual elements such as setting, time of day, camera angles etc. could have been easily replaced without really changing the story. They might have even worked without the eye candy but they surely wouldn’t have without the character drama underneath.

Recently I was recommended THE SEVEN HABITS OF HIGHLY SUCCESSFUL PEOPLE. Early in the book Stephen Covey speaks about the Paradigm Shift. (Beware: this Paradigm has nothing to do with Syd Field.) It’s about looking at something from a specific angle and (not) seeing what others see. I found this concept very similar to reading text vs. reading subtext. I had been reading screenplays on the surface for years before it most literally ‘clicked’ in my head; it felt as if a ’sixth sense’ had switched on, as if I was suddenly reading with an infrared eye.

Switching on the understanding of this subtextual level is a skill writers, just like producers or directors, need to develop before they can become successful. It is just as essential as switching on your desk light at night to read.

THE LOGLINE

“A logline is a one-sentence summary of your script. It’s the short blurb in TV guides that tells you what a movie is about and helps you decide if you’re interested in seeing it. It’s the grabber that excites your interest.” (-Scriptologis.Com)

.

The logline shouldn’t be confused with the tagline (marketing one-liner for the poster) or even slugline (“EXT. KAREL’S OFFICE – DAY”).

Once I believed you can only write your story’s logline when you have finished your script and even the one page synopsis. Until then, it may not even be clear what the story is about.

Here are a few good reasons why you should start thinking of the logline earlier. First of all: a good logline is a good indication that you have a story. If after a few drafts you still can’t find a logline that captures what your movie is about, you really need to think hard about the story again. Secondly: it will become an essential selling tool for your script. A strong logline will give you the confidence that you have a story: you’ll be able to pitch it with passion! In both senses the logline does pretty much what I promote about the synopsis in my consultancy services: it helps you improve AND sell the story. All that with the economy of one simple sentence.

I am currently working as a consultant on an amazing high concept story with some major story issues. It is always nerve-wrecking having to break the news that to unleash its potential, a story needs to be significantly reworked. But when I found out the writer had already written a logline expressing exactly what I believed the story should deliver, I sighed: we were on the same wavelength.

The moment you find a logline expressing your intentions, you have found an invaluable tool to stay on track. It could be the road map saving you from disaster. If the logline is selling and you stay true to it during the writing of the draft, chances are you will have a selling story.

THE $5 SCRIPT SOFTWARE: ASHAMPOO’S TEXTMAKER:

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I believe the offers on these newsletters remain open for at least 1 purchase per customer.

BEATS VS. TURNING POINTS

While working on a step outline with one of my clients, it bothered me a number of scenes ended in the exact same way: the protagonist would respond to a situation by rejection or reluctance to respond.

None of these scenes really ended in a plot point, there was no hook nor change to the story’s direction. So I didn’t find the scenes’ ending strong enough and almost suggested to cut them altogether. Still, the point the writer was trying to make about the protagonist was a valid one: it gave us important information we would need later in the story.

The solution we came up with: keep the protagonist’s reaction as a scene beat but work towards a stronger scene ending by creating a new plot point for each in order to turn the scene, create anticipation and propel it into the next one. Not an easy task but ultimately better than cutting.

THE QUIZ

As part of a Google Adwords campaign I’ve created a quiz about the craft and – to a lesser extent – history of screenwriting. If one or two questions are a matter of opinion rather than fact, you will find the answers in The Story Dept. Twenty challenges, definitely not for beginners (and neither is this blog, apparently) but essential knowledge for whomever is serious about the craft. Anyway, if you consider yourself an expert, or at least intermediate level writer, you shouldn’t be intimidated. Click through until the very end of the quiz and you’ll land back on the OZZYWOOD web site after seeing all the right answers. Have fun!

http://ozzywood.com/quiz

According to respected screenwriting gurus, one of the most important things to do for an emerging screenwriter is to read and study as many screenplays as possible. It doesn’t matter if the film was a success or a flop: you learn either way.

For years, I blindly believed this dogma as it seemed to make a lot of sense. Learn from good and bad examples. Don’t we all do that in other fields? With hundreds of screenplays readily available for download from www.script-o-rama.com, www.imsdb.com and other sources, it is also a cheap way to improve your skill.

But does it?

I try to watch on average a movie a day, either in the cinema or on DVD. With the birth of my son late 2004, that became a bit more of a challenge. I found myself falling asleep in the second act. To remedy the ‘early fatherhood syndrome’, I would make notes, forcing myself to stay awake. As long as I had the discipline, I would even type them up into structural diagrams.

Suddenly this revelation: the more I liked the film, the easier it would be to find the Aristotelian three act structure and the principles of dramatic tension.

Revelation? Hardly.

What was truly phenomenal was that to crack the key to the film’s story structure, it had taken me only the duration of the film plus a few minutes .

If I had read the screenplay instead, it would have taken me hours to read and take notes. Then the work would have only really started in order to piece the structure together from the notes. A finished film underscores the drama in ways that help you identify the importance of the beat, scene or sequence: through music, fades or the use of light and colour (Soderbergh’s TRAFFIC is an extreme example).

With Wojciech – “Aerosol” – Wawrzyniak, I am developing a story whose structure is vaguely similar to Kenneth Brannagh’s MARY SHELLEY’S FRANKENSTEIN (Thank you, Chris) so we decided to read the screenplay and watch the movie.

That’s when the REAL value in reading screenplays became apparent: it allows you to compare script and finished film. It shows the areas where filmmakers struggled because things didn’t really work the way they wanted.

Comparing script and film also reveals where directors made last minute decisions because they didn’t believe the script worked, or more often: the money ran out. A great example is the Chicago Train Station climax in THE UNTOUCHABLES. Mamet’s original Third Act had Capone’s accountant going on the train, with a chase and shootout following. However, De Palma had blown the budget and was forced to improvise. For years he had been dreaming of shooting a hommage to Eisenstein ‘Odessa Steps’ sequence from THE BATTLESHIP POTEMKIN. Finally the opportunity was thrown into his lap because of a budget issue.

In my view, reading lots of screenplays is the hard way to writing good stories. But analysing one or two classics on language, style and formatting may help you find the right balance to turn your final draft into an easy read.

DVD COMMENTARY: TOTAL RECALL

Admittedly, Arnold Schwarzenegger is the last person you would expect to add value to a movie commentary. Well actually Paul Verhoeven does most of the job on this SPECIAL EDITION DVD, “innit?”. Can you believe Richard Dreyfuss was one of the original choices for the lead role??? Lucky Verhoeven told Carolco to snap the rights to the script off De Laurentiis, who had financial problems at the time.

More trivia: Verhoeven pinpoints the scene in TOTAL RECALL that gave him the idea to cast Sharon Stone for Basic Instinct. More interestingly, the director elaborates on the philosophical aspects of the story and Philip K. Dick’s original short story it was based on. It made me curious to hear his commentary on the controversial STARSHIP TROOPERS.

DVD COMMENTARY: STARSHIP TROOPERS

I find it brave of a director who claims his movie was very much misunderstood, to expressly deal with this issue on a DVD commentary. It probably helped that a few years had gone by and the initial frustration had faded.

Anyway, the dialogue between Verhoeven and writer Neumeier is interesting in the sense that it removes any doubt about the team’s intentions. Yes, fascism is BAD. And those that preach violence as a solution are BAD PEOPLE.

But further into the movie, the concepts get a little bit murkier to the point where writer and director are almost – but entirely unintentionally – contradicting each other on the subject of whether or not an audience should be given what they want, even if they happily consume the fascist material without raising questions. As long as the filmmakers’ intentions are pure… Hmmm. Not sure about this. Still: fascinating material to think and converse about!

LOOSE ENDS

What exactly is a synopsis? An outline? A treatment? If you are a writer trying to get your works produced or sold, it is important to know AND USE these formats. On the way to success, almost every writer will have to produce at least one of each for almost every work.

A while ago, the Australian Film Commission published an excellent document explaining the difference and the importance of these different formats. As unfortunately it lies buried deep somewhere within their extensive web site, I have taken the liberty to make it available for download here.

AN OFFER YOU COULDN’T REFUSE

I am a total JB Hifi addict, a foible shared by my lovely wife (phew!). But this time, I must draw your attention to the following AMAZING deals at EZYDVD (Australia):

Godfather DVD Collection, The (5 Disc Box Set)
Apocalypse Now Redux
Crash (2004)
Nicolas Cage Collection (4 Disc Box Set)
Searchers, The – 50th Anniversary Special Edition (2 Disc Set)
Wild Bunch, The – The Original Director’s Cut: Special Edition (2 Disc Set)
Dead Again
Deer Hunter, The
Forbidden Planet

I have a nasty feeling HD-DVD and/or BluRay will be upon us soon…